What gets me is that all you ever talk about is pain.
Nothing that comes out of your mouth
is not a little selfish insult,
a deep sigh that burns your disapproval
and lack of happiness- lack of soul -
down everyone's throat
Never has nothing to do with money,
your lack of it
even though you waste it
when you have it
Always words of inability
i can't do this
i can't do that
of your selfish nature
nobody ever does anything
i do everything around here
i pay for everything
nothing is ever
full of love
or happiness
or true devotion,
true support
true appreciation
true ... life
in this family
it's all been lost
since our shelter fell
our rock, our home
My spirit.

My love for you is quite substantial
Just enough to get us by
When I'm with you, I never panic
My stomach knows no butterflies

My feelings for you are adequate
I kiss you like I do my mother
Politely, cordially, out of duty
Plainly and unpassionate

There are no ups and downs
No disbelief at what I've found
Our love is completely logical
Solid, steady, and sound

My love is understandable
Laid out, and well defined
My love is clearly tangible
No need for even trying

My want for you is sustainable
And well under control
My desire is easily satiable
Like a dead tree that no longer grows

I'll love you this way until I die
Or until the day you leave
And on that day, I will not cry
Nor shall I ever grieve

Because this kind of love is lacking passion
And without true belief
It's the kind of love you're better off without
It will never satisfy your needs

if i was a plant
i'd be overgrown
untamed
tangled roots
sitting on your shelf
i am always sitting on your shelf
i trip over everything
my feet
my words
my head is a hurricane
i wanna be your natural disaster
'cause yes,
i am a disaster
but i can't help but think
your shoes would look so good
resting next to my boots
come & pick out my petals
one by one
i intend to live this life
till my flowers are all dried up
so
if you wanna press me
between your pages
be my guest,
be my guest.
the only ring i wanna see
is you cutting me in half
peel back my bark
i've got all the ******* nutrients
you'd ever need
i was just a seed
when we met
so young,
but i bloomed the first time we kissed
you make me feel so beautiful sometimes
so even though i am a ****,
please
take my dandelion heart
growing through the concrete
i'll grow
through your concrete
you find beauty in unusual places
find it in me
please
find it
in
me.

My heart has loved so many.
Ever-changing and ever lasting.
Going farther than I could ever believe.
And yet, I still get hurt and no amount of bandages,
nor thread can hold all of my pieces together.
I'm hoping that you know I still think of you and
my heart aches because I shattered yours:
something so elegant and valuable- broken.
only now do I realize that I've been wrong
right now I find that you didn't need me at all
right now I find that I needed you. More than anything. I'm
yearning for you to share some words with me again, but I know it wont happen
and rightfully so. I said I wasn't good enough, and I believed it, now more than ever. And still, I
neglected that you were telling me otherwise. That you still wanted me around.
Distance was my problem. How I longed to turn our tangled words into reality.
I still can't step onto my porch without having my mind flood full of regret.
maybe I'll stop with all of this nonsense of 'what ifs' and 'have beens' but for now it seems
impossible. I know I
still haven't met a soul as beautiful as yours or
someone who could make me feel so full with only their words.
You were that only person.
Only you could have done that. And when I drifted out of fear that you too would drift and leave me
under the sea to drown in the misery of a broken heart, you promised you
wouldn't.
I'm complicated. I'm afraid of heartbreak. I break hearts to save mine. Before anybody else can.
The pain of loneliness is truly unbearable. I know and feel how I'm going to be this way forever. If
Hell is a place on earth, I must be living it, spending
all day going over the words you had so tenderly given. So wrongfully given. I remember when
love existed between us. How palpable and real it was. How I could
list all the ways you touched my heart. The only person who meant it. The only person who ever did.
My god how I miss you.
Your title, body, notes, and
soul.
Only I could be such an idiot.
Understand, I'm so complicated. I'm so sorry. I know you're not coming back, but I never got to say, "I
love you."

[6w]