i'm a blanket thief
i have horrid bed head
i talk in my sleep
and i probably snore too
good luck.

this feeling
i feel
i've never felt
why won't it go away
it bothers me day in
and day out
i don't know what to say
your smiling face is enough
to make my whole week
make my knees weak
even if you can't see
if i could only make you blush
that is my goal
because  you make me light up
from my toes to my soul
you and i are quite ridiculous
if you ask me
but i know you like getting reactions out of me
you want to see how i tick
is that what it is?
you'll tease me
cause it makes me smile
play along
when I act like a child
i try and hide how i feel
but seeing you makes it infinitely more real
come december i'll give you the note
and then what?
will words catch in your throat?
will you know what to say?
will you have a clue?
or will i chicken out and miss my chance with you?

sitting at home
i slept in today
should have gone to school
my health is more important
i've lost
my appetite
can't seem to eat a whole lot
i'm always tired
something is wrong
can't tell what
don't want to go to the
doctor
probably nothing
a cold?
maybe stress
whatever it is
i'll be fine.

what are you afraid of?
what shakes you with fright?
are you scared of the monsters?
who go bump in the night?
are you scared of tight spaces?
scared of not going places?
do you ever fear you'll lose someone?
you'll wake up one day and they'll just be gone?
i want to know what scares you
so i know when to hold your hand
i've told you what scares me
what fills my heart with fear
something like bumble bee
like not having a clue on what I want to make as a career
you know that writing scares me
you know that i can't stop
but you don't know a couple things
like how it scares me that you make my stomach flop
i never used to be so scared of feeling this way
i promise you that once i was really rather brave
it scares me that you might leave
that you might not even care
that maybe one day you'll get bored
and i'll search but you won't be there.

you must have no clue
because i am only interested in you
sometimes you keep me up late
and I wonder how long i can wait
i'm bursting at the seams
i'm trying not to tell you, but that's not what my heart screams
can i just give you a hint
i want you to know, but i would rather you didn't
the ending of your name is n
and i consider you a good friend
but that's not your real name
your first name ends in an a
and this is where things start getting messy
my heart starts getting heavy
if i don't tell you i will regret
my feelings i should confess
i wish i could take off your mask
and i can
i know i can but some little insecurity
inside of me is telling me not to
why am i letting fear control me
i've talked to you
ABOUT you
isn't that just silly
bet you didn't know
i am waiting till december and that's as far as i can go
fifty four days till i'm free
of two different captivities
but maybe i can't wait that long
should i tell you soon
i wish you could answer this
i'm sure my friends are sick
of hearing about you.

everything is a constant battle
i'm fighting as hard as i can
but i'm fighting the wrong people
why am i fighting my own squad
i am a warrior
but i'm wounding myself
my muscles are sore
every inch of my body screaming
pain
just give up
everything is screaming at me
telling me to stop fighting
let them win
but i don't like giving up
i'm a fighter
is winning worth it
what's the real victory?
what do i get if i win?

sometimes i forget
that you don't have time
for me anymore
and that maybe
i should just
give
up
but
then
then you come back
it's like a roller coaster
and i can't seem to get off
because the thrill is worth
the disappointment when the ride stops
and you have no idea
but i just can't seem to tell you
what am i so afraid of?
because anything would be better than this
i'd rather you completely reject me
than sit here
not knowing
i want to tell you
i really really do
but you have to understand that i just
can't
and it's only hurting me
as far as i know
i just wish...
i  just wish that  there were more time in a day