Found myself while finding you

Chaotic yet so blissful it was, it is and will always be!

I dream of you in secret
Not because I'm ashamed
But because we aren't how we used to be
So I dream of the you that I knew
The you that made my head spin
Whenever our hands touched
Or my stomach flutter
When you said my name
I dream of you
In hopes you'll return back home

i could stare at the leaves in the trees for what it seemed like eternities.
this one hour of being one with the trees felt like my whole lifetime.
everything felt silent in my head and i didn't mind the ache in my legs anymore.

There are many ways to deal with anxiety
A lot of people fidget with their hands
Bounce their legs up and down
Chew a lot of gum
Stay in the solitude of their own room
Bite their hair or nails
While there's me
I used you to ease my anxiety
You were my nervous tick
Going to you was the easiest thing I could have done
Because you made me so calm
Now I wish you never left