Over the years
all that you said
the glimmer in your eyes
with the way you looked at me
The words exchanged
those perfect moments in your arms
regardless of how seldom
and far between
they may have been
neither of us could escape
the passion shared
in spite of the short distance
that seemed a million miles
or how fate
always seemed to bring us back
to each others presence
as if time and space deemed it
which we always returned to
as if it were yesterday
when we least expected
but its your silence
that almost convinces me
it never meant a thing.

you are my ****** and I am addicted to having you flow through me
but now I have to quit before I get hurt again, I am scared
and it is hard to detox, it feels impossible to overcome it
I wish it could go back to the beginning, before it turned on me
when everything was perfect, and I was euphoric
but now, my dear ******
I need my prozac back
and I beg of you to return, because I long for you,
my sweet ******
this infatuation, this addiction, this needle
this love

I am addicted to you,
and it's hard to let go

The fangs of my own mind sink into me.
I need some anti-venom or I'm history.
I try to fight back but it's to no avail.
The toxicity spreads; it's inevitable prevail.
I realize my fate, my brain gives up on me.
The anti-venom is  empty.
I'm history.

As I sit down in class with my stomach churning
My hands are shaking and my head is turning
To find something of comfort to distract me
From the eyes tracing my face catching acne
From the people wanting to give me hugs
When my back is drenched in sweat
From swaying back and forth and moving like a slug
Slow and clumsy, I wish my brain and feet had met.
I wish I could **** this anxiety
I wish this lock had a key.

As I blow out my 18th candle;
My only wish is that my mom was here to cut the cake.

I write to set my demons free
To let them out into the sun
Hoping they will vanish from my sight
I write so I can spill love, loss, and hate onto blank paper
Instead of my conscience.