An undercurrent of sadness follows my every move and it only takes a
push
Holding back tears until I can be alone.
So that I can be lonely; it's easier to rationalise.

I forget what it feels like to be normal.

I get up every day
go to work
cook dinner
wash my clothes
clean my house
go to the gym
be there for my family
talk to my friends
hold it together
hold it
hold
until I feel it
push
pretend to be normal
push
pretend to be OK

I'm not OK.

a lot of people ask who I write for

and mainly it’s really for my girlfriend

I’ve always said that she’s the kind of girl

that makes you write poetry.

it’s to express the endless love

the irretrievable gratitude

and the unconditional happiness I feel.

but it’s also for the broken ones

who desperately want to believe in hope

who have Pandora’s box

wrenched from their hands.

for the crying ones

who need solidarity and a warm cup of tea

overwhelmed and wrapped in a blanket.

it’s also for the 9-to-5’s

who drink when they come home

for those who are simply fed up

and want an escape from it all.

I write to help heal.

for the people out there

who just need to know someone understands.

I write because it’s 4am and

I’m listening to Keaton Henson

and these raw feelings

won’t leave my brain

and won’t let me sleep

so really,

I write

to save myself.