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 Aug 2015 lillian
Devin Ortiz
Fleshing holding it together
The void grows, emptiness
Flames burn violent in the human engine
Running on fumes, full steam ahead.

Numb to the senses.
Fissures painted across broken body.
Powerful negative energies seep through
Fueling the harsh reality.
With every strike, hatred explodes
Begging now for a quick finish.

There is no picking up the pieces
Shattered glass self reveals
The mirrored ill intentions.
Saturated in darkness
Breathing the heavy poisons
Eyes awaken, sights restored.

Seeing clearly again,
Evolving, to perfected form.
The key in misery, mastered in solitude.
Nothing is more than you imagine,

For truth is everything.

Nothing is more than she says,

For silence is the answer.

Nothing is more than she appears,

For black is her pigment.

Nothing is more than she seems,

For who are you to judge.
 Aug 2015 lillian
Devin Ortiz
I miss the warm tethered entanglement
Of white hot invading veins
And boiling blood slithering
Innocent lust for rage
Driven by underdeveloped
Over stimulated blessings of adolescence.

Age hardens the stone of flesh
Once fluid magma erupting
From volcanoes of mole hills
Turned mountains by the quick tempered.
Spitfire tongue incinerating old walkways
Patience and time cool the ferocity
Burning rivers now gentle streams
Chisling rough roads, eroding paths.

Ancient doors reopened
Ready for the next adventure to take place.
 Aug 2015 lillian
Harsh
Tim O'Brien had the right idea
about carrying people and ideas;
we all have experiences that live within us
like a stain on our grey matter.

I carry with me every insult hurled at me,
caught by my web of sensitivity;
I lift them onto my shoulders,
my back creaking as I trudge on.

My insecurities are shackles at my ankles,
the chains tangling themselves and chafing my legs;
my knees knock and pop and shake,
my back creaks and groans.

The ghosts and spirits of the self-departed
dance their ethereal ballet about my soul
and howl their eerie opera through the night,
begging for forgiveness and understanding.

The heaviness of the future rests
inside the caverns of my cranium,
latching on to my thoughts
and chipping at my hopes.

Past loves plague our emotions
and rest in the deepest corners of our hearts,
reminding us of who we once were
and asking us what could have been.

A cloud of sadness condenses in my body,
little drops of dejection slide down my lungs.
My chest constricts and grows heavy
and pointlessly hopes to see the sun.

Everyone together carries the weight of the world,
but I'm not sure what is heavier:
the mass of the planet,
or the things its people carry.
Inspired by Tim O'Brien's book entitled "The Things They Carried" and  http://everybookisaquotation.tumblr.com/post/107062246764/tell-me-atlas-what-is-heavier-the-world-or
There is an ocean in between us.
It churns in violent winds
and shimmers in shining sun.
The inky black depths of this ocean
seem to reach infinitely down;
I've yet to find the bottom.
An entire world lives in this ocean
and it is one that I'm not a part of.
A toe dipped into this water reveals
the true frigidness that lingers just under the surface.
The ever moving waves pull me in
just to push me away again.
I can hear the ocean through the
empty conch that was once full of life.
There is an ocean in between us
and we're still holding hands.
 Aug 2015 lillian
Devin Ortiz
The synergistic symbiote
Whom dwells deep upon my breast
Hides secrets within the locked chest.
Tethered heart strings play a familiar note.

Tightly wound, eroding away
Confusion gives rise, memories wash over
Dr Jekyll, Mr. Hyde struggling to be sober
Detoxing lies I told myself were okay.

Beg for the truth before you leave
The lump in my throat budges, failing
In my head is one story, railing
Away to free, a goal I won't achieve.

Two kindred spirits struggle,  power
The true motivator, the opressor killing
Dreams to express brokeness chilling
My spine as we debate and you turn sour.

Friends one moment, devils the here after
Souls once melded, fight for control
Where I am me, you look to patrol
Finding my weakness, self claimed master.

Words won't find a wandering ear
To which could understand, pain
Like this, losing all with nothing to gain
Supress these fears, in silence dear.

We write the words, we won't speak
Nightmares live through day dreams
Stalking the foolish, insane screams
Suffer this shell, shed yourself of the weak.
 Jul 2015 lillian
Devin Ortiz
I choke on disappointment
Coughing up shards of glass.
Tasting the crimson truths of unhappiness.
Words won't come, forgotten paths

Shamelessly burning bridges
Beyond the help of tears and fortune.
Reflected monster I've become.
Layers of hate hiding pain.

Let the light in they say.
Darkness swirls around my heart.
Clenching against the violent beats.
No regrets, only anger.

The only tongue I speak is destruction
My pen murders the hopeful
Just as the innocence in me,
Was so carelessly thrown through the muck.
 Jul 2015 lillian
Devin Ortiz
Words do not impress
Weaved web of heavy thoughts
Intertwined with feelings of moments
Trapped in time.

When poetry, tender love
Shattered the seal of darkness on my heart.
Only falling empty on now deaf ears.

Rotting in the pit of my stomach
The sonnet of souls attempting to reach me
Eroding, like the poison of this forked tongue.
Slaying the beauty of life.
I retreat to blank pages.
Uninspired, how I bore of you.
 Jul 2015 lillian
anon
You love me
When the alcohol kicks in
Then take it back because
it wasnt the real you talking

You miss me
When you get high
Because your lows
Include me

You **** me
When your sober
Then ignore me
When we pass by each other

I wish i was what you were addicted to
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