I know I'll end up drinking alone
With wine spilling onto the floor
And screams crawling up my throat

It seems I’ve always been dyslexic
But, I really didn’t know.
I just discovered this about myself
About a year ago.
It was a matter of some bedevilment
To deal with left and right
Up and down, on and off, and more
Excepting day and night.

Opposites like yes or no, black or white,
Were never easy or fun.
Then the days of computers came along
With their trials of zero and one.
It’s a basic lack of understanding things
At a minimal kind of level.
It always seemed I was forever lost
Between the sea and the devil.

I began to realize how deep the effect
Ran within my learning curve.
It was more than just a simple matter
Of which way I would swerve
When riding a bike or driving a car;
I could never drive in Kent.
I would invariably choose the wrong way
When the road was forked or bent.

I don’t take any of this in any light way,
It helps me to understand
Having problems in my studies long ago,
To piece together strand by strand
The insults and the teasing I underwent
When I made the wrong choices.
I can now put to rest my sense of doubt
That stems from chiding voices.

It was such a subtle thing, and back then,
In the methods of long ago,
The parents and the teachers muddled on
Because they really didn’t know
That many of us were not ignoramuses
We just had an uphill fight
We had a dilemma in equal opposites
Like in and out or left and right.

I never know where I'm going.
Not sure what I might say.
I wander through this world of rhyme
And somehow find my way.

It's no wonder many claimed
That muses gave them song,
For, after knowing my own methods,
How could I claim they're wrong?

Not every line is perfect.
Some verses need something more.
But each piece speaks to who I am--
What else could I ask for?

An emotion has stirred my thoughts
As if I've changed fate into something
It shouldn't have become

Like a drum
I beat through my day
I tell myself to continue

What's the issue
There may not be a point
Almost as if I'm existing in the place of another

What would my mother,
Who has raised me but never knew me,
Think of my choices

It's as if voices
Calling from within a deep crevice
Are letting me know

There's not going be a show
No great climactic beam of ethereal light
Only a fizzled out glow, dull and unnoted

He once quoted
This life is only lived in place
Of your parents hopes and dreams

A ballad, an ode or a requiem
What would be fit for this
What would hail, bold and brightly

For this most unholy, God almighty
Who made me live in place of another
I take their concept of joy, they take my cynical pride  

Low tide,
Please wash away my past transgressions
I only meant to preserve

Unfortunately it will serve
To take away a sense of self
Here I am living, vicariously

Take my mind
Take my thoughts

Trade me yours
Trade me away

Give up your worth
Give up your pain

I promise I'll take care of them
I promise I'll take ravenously

Your identity is yours alone
Alone, you are mine