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when I feel the sensations
of words starting to make sense
in my mind;
this is when I feel high.
writing is my drug of choice.
it fufills my needs
and makes me feel "okay".
to keep the feelings trapped inside
my silenced mouth
and speeding mind
is like when a drug addict
comes down from the high.
it makes me feel
weak
numb
and uncontrollable.
I am nothing without a pencil
and paper;
I was destined for greater.
and greater
I shall become.
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
JD
Game Over
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
JD
I'm tired of the head games
Do you still really wanna play?
Your not the only one with emotions
And that's all I'm gonna say...
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
Hayleigh
Etch your name into
The delicate walls of my beating heart
Time shall not erase you.
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
Xyns
I'm at that point again
When all I want to do is sleep

My eyelids feel constantly heavy
And my body continuously aches

My emotions are dormant
And my smiles are fake

I'm just going through the motions
I feel pointless, a waste of space

I've been here before, I know
But I don't remember what changed
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
Nyx Ciel
There's this thing in life
This thing that we call love
It transcends gender, age, ethnicity,
All of the above.

Love is a beautiful thing
Not too unlike a rose
As roses have thorns, and thorns can sting
As love often does.

Love is a painful thing
A blade across your wrists.
Words never spoken,
Agonizing bliss.

Love is a curiosity
An enigma, misunderstood.
Three small words, yet also large
Do you really think they could?

They can, and have, and will again
And so will you, sweet dove.
You'll mend your broken wing
And soar on skies of love.

For love, despite it's quandaries
In all it's highs and lows,
Is something meant for all of us
To receive, and to show.

And if you think
No one loves me,
I say think again!

For in these words
Inevitably
You've found yourself a friend.
Love is more than what we see, what we do, what we touch. Love is who we care about, in any way, shape, or form. Love is something everyone understands, the language that transcends tongue.

Many people, many, kind, and caring people experience hurt and loss, but never forget, you aren't alone.
You're never alone.

There's always someone out there waiting to love you.
Willing to love you.

To the outcasts, to the freaks, to the people who write as I do, as an escape, as a form of therapy, because they don't know what else to do, and to everyone few and far between;
**You are loved.**

©Sam Ciel
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
Lahela
Your touch is like the feeling you get when you finally lay down after a long day.
When you kiss me I feel like you light the life on my lips, and I
feel the taste of you rush into my chest like a new type of smoke.

I unwind while in your presence and peel my worries off as if I'm already inside the privacy of the house I will one day own.
Because, my dear...
No matter what,
At the end of the day I want to see
You.
Because when I am with you, I am

Home.
Somebody out there
Won't think twice to date you
Won't have to choose who he wants to be
because he know it's you
Won't make you cry and if he ever will
I'm sure it's tears of joy.

Somebody out there
Won't complain if you want romantic movies
Won't tell you ****, instead you're beautiful
Won't be embarassed, he will be silly with you.
Won’t be ashamed of your flaws and mistakes,
He will hold you and love you anyways.

Somebody out there
Won't make you feel like an object
He will treat you with respect.
He won’t get mad when you wake him up at 3am
Because you are on the verge of breaking down.
Instead he'll feel special because you trusted him
And let him see you in your most vulnerable state.

**Somebody out there
Won’t have to ask you if you are upset,
He knows by the look you have on your face.
Won't judge you, but understand you.
Won’t let you go, he will hold you so tight
Thank God every night
That he put you into his life.

Somebody out there
Won't make you feel worthless
cause he know you're a Princess
Won't break your heart
and will hold your hand
As if holding the whole world around.
P.S. When you meet that boy, you will realize why it didn’t work out with someone else.
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
xx
Untitled
 Jan 2015 Audrey Maday
xx
I am so imperfect
That I destruct myself
In loving you this much
While you destruct yourself
In loving her so bad
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