I hope you noticed.
I hope you saw me go.
I hoped you turned around,
To see my foot prints in the snow.

I hope you feel hurt.
I hope you care.
I hope you went to turn to me,
To see i was no longer there.

I hope I mean something.
I hope the something is good.
I hope im not annoying,
And I did what i should.

I hope you feel a loss.
I hope you feel blue.
I hope you feel cold,
With all your friends around you.

I hope you feel betrayed.
I hope you feel discusted.
I hope you feel dissapointed,
That our friendship is pretty rusted.

I hope you feel regret.
I hope you feel pain.
I hope you know whos fault it is,
And your the one you blame.

I hope you know I walked away.
I hope you missed my goodbye.
Oh how I hope so many things,
When I'm just about to cry.

Have you ever tried to flex your heart to make sure it was still in your chest?

Everytime you tried to choke down what was hurting you, you realized it didn't matter anymore.

Lately, I've been doing okay. Except when the night starts telling secrets to the dawn so I have to make sure they don't whisper your name.

Please, don't worry about me though. Just focus on being happy.



Maybe one day, things will be in a place where you can see a shadow and smile without swallowing shards of glass.

E**ven though I promised to always be here, it will **** is both if I stay. I'm so sorry.

The stars in the sky;
Falls along with the tears in your eyes
Catching colors in black and white;
Remembering the love we had that night...

The faults and regrets;
They kept on shaking all the thoughts in our heads
Flashing memories we tried to forget;
Waking up with you alone in this bed

Tell me where did we go wrong?
Tell me why you've leave me alone?
I'm waiting here for you to come home
The only place our hearts belong

Tell me how'd it come to be?
Tell me that you're missing me?
I can't believe it has to end
We thought our love can never end

Love is like a falling star;
Shining with false hopes and promises are bound
A wish came true with a mark of scars;
Never again to fall once it meets the ground

I.
i'm clingy.
you can't manage to love someone that always happens to stick onto you like fresh fallen snow on the bottom of your snowboots or pounding water that adheres to your skin in a shower. no one wants someone who they can't shake off and get away from a little. but with me, i will try my hardest not to let that happen. because i can't even fathom the thought of you walking out that door and never coming back.

II.
my brain is like spaghetti.
my thoughts are always messy and all over the place. it's extremely challenging to sort everything out so i don't even try anymore. everything just jumbles and mixes together and you can't really differentiate one strand from another. and my grandmother always told me that guys don't like messy girls.

III.
sometimes i'm just a really sad poem with feet.
i get into moods. moods where i think everything is wrong and that i'm useless. no one likes girls like that. boys like confidence, right?

IV.
i'll try to make a home out of you.
and you can't make homes out of people. but i don't think that'll ever get through my thick skull.

V.
you don't know how to love me.
no one does. no one has quite been able to figure it out.
and i think you're okay with that.

In the beginning it was fine
When I played it the first few times
I* grew old and weary
Losing a bit of me
Lending this game most of my precious time
Not knowing this will lead to my...
Envy-because my highscore is 8
Vengeance- because the pain is too much  
Enragement- because my highscore is 8
Rotteness-because I've been playing all day
Probably I will stop,
Letting go is a choice,
Allowing this game to control me should be no more
Yes! I should never play again but...
I need to try it once more
Travelling the pipes of legend
Again and again I *fail
Gone is all my efforts
Atrocious this game is
I conclude
No...

How I love you
But I hate you so much
How I feel when I see your smile
and the look on your face when you blush
makes my my mind go fuzzy
and my blood rapidly rush

I couldn't possibly live without you
Without I'd surely die
But knowing I can no longer be with you
always forces me to cry
Time again and again myself I hurt
but I always seem to try

It feels as if you came from a dream
Body so perfect, face as surreal
But the heart of a devil
Honestly what's the deal?
You act so innocent, flirting away
Why do this, you know my heart you steal

No matter how many times I'm told
I still dish it out on a tray
Watching you trample all over me
knowing how much you me betray
And after all I know so well
I still can't seem to look away

I am no longer searching for the end of the rainbow.
I'm not looking for a treasure chest, no Prince Charming, not some perfect fairy tale ending.
I am looking for
a war.
I want to see the world up in flames,
brothers fighting with bloodthirsty vengeance,
mothers who no longer care how many children they lose.
I am looking for an end
to this
catastrophic,
idiotic,
symbiotic,
toxic love affair.
Because you reek of tragedy and I of sin
and who is to say that love won't win?
I want full blown destruction,
large-scale nuclear fallout,
death by the billions.
I want to see the pain of this thing
in your eyes,
in my smile,
plastered to our hearts.
Because isn't that how we started?
Isn't that how this was born?
A bond conceived through peril and limitations,
too-high expectations and poor communication.
We can move on.
We can start again.
But, by the desolate sky and His backstabbing God,
we know to taste the sweetness of peace on the ever-blowing wind,
we must march through battlefields we have yet only dreamed of.
So, no.
I am not looking for Picture Perfect.
I'm not striving for marriage-babies-happy ending.
I'm looking forward to visiting Hell,
to building a city of misfortune and terror,
to dooming myself to live out most of my days in agony.
It is the only way to you.