Blood
Only takes a tiny slash,
walked into a blood bath.
Watched as the blood did splatter,
screams made the windows shatter.
Blood over here, blood over there,
had no time to prepare.
Blood on the ceiling, blood on the floor,
all blood red and very pure.
Heads hanging on some hooks,
all people with good looks.
Time for ugly to reign supreme,
hell with that expensive ****** cream.
Pretty faces are a thing of the past,
I killed the first, I'll **** the last.
Ugly people pay me money,
soon as they see the blood runny.
Rich people get the best,
poor people beg for the rest.
Blood drips in the cracks in the floor,
ugly people demanding more.
The bodies are tough to hide,
ugly cops let me slide.
I guess I could have molded a mask,
but how I love a ****** task.

Can I
can I speak with no tongue
can I listen with no ears
can I smell with no nose
can I walk with no legs
can I write with no arms
can I brush with no hair
can I see with no eyes
can I eat with no teeth
hang me on the wall,
call me modern art
even with no body parts
I can still do what I want
I can do anything,
if I put my mind to it
I was born with no parts
but I can still do more than you
I refuse to give up or quit
you ask can I, I say yes I can

Just The Facts
Baseball is America's pastime,
football players commit a crime.
Hockey players have names,
you can't pronounce or understand,
basketball players, seven feet tall they stand.
Nothing beats a cold can of coke,
anything else is just a joke.
Rock and roll, will always be king,
country is just a real long fling.
Wrestling, yes I know it's fake,
my all time favorite carried a snake.
Thanksgiving is a stupid tradition,
too much family, leaves you needing medication.
Why is American pie, made of apple,
I'd rather have a pumpkin Snapple.
Inside us all is a cancer,
another question, we can't answer.
I love my country with all my might,
murderers, rapists and molesters,
should be shot on sight.
Nothing better than a pork roll, egg and cheese,
run to Jersey, and just ask please.
Nothing like watching a great movie,
sometimes life can be pretty groovy.
*** is something, like no other,
just don't have it with your mother.

Prison Life

As I ran into your arms,
I heard bells, I heard alarms.
Our love was always strong,
together we could do no wrong.
Finally out of this prison cell,
my jail time was pure hell.
I was violated all sorts of ways,
nothing to do, but count the days.
Guilty of a crime, I didn't do,
they made me spit, swallow and chew.
My *** will never be the same,
they made me play the prison game.
Now I'm back home, where I belong,
had enough of that prison song.
It ***** being wrongfully accused,
my ******* is forever bruised.
I missed my wife, missed my child,
it's been awhile since I last smiled.
Never again will I be constipated,
prison life was very complicated.
I have nightmares, every single night,
my poor *** is no longer tight.
Me and my wife, broke up a year later,
I became a woman hater.
I converted back to men,
the priest gave my *** an amen.

I met a woman, I once knew,
back in school, she'd sniff glue.
She didn't recognize as I walked by,
so I didn't even bother to say hi.
I saw my mom who left me at five,
I was kinda hoping, she wasn't alive.
She gave me a second look,
gave her the finger, then off I took.
I saw my first love at the store,
she was the first girl, that let me explore.
I went in and asked her to lunch,
she had more kids than the Brady Bunch.
Met my ex wife at the local mall,
haven't seen her since our last brawl.
My nose is still badly broken,
her lips and jaw was still swollen.
Saw a girl that used to be a neighbor,
she now works for the department of labor.
We played doctor, we played house,
she liked playing with my mighty mouse.
Just today I bumped into my old babysitter,
she still hangs out with my sister.
My dad used to pay her very well,
in his bedroom she used to yell.
There is still one girl, I have left to see,
this is a girl that also hasn't met me.
I'm still looking for miss right,
I just hope the ***** is white.

This Will Not Rhyme [No Money]

Looking outside, see a fence,
needs some work,
but, no money.
See some giant trees,
about to fall on the house,
but, no money.
I have two kids,
I wish I could spoil,
but, no money.
Life wasn't always like this,
became a plumber,
made some good money,
living good for a few years.
Kitchen needs a makeover,
won't even mention the bills,
but, no money.
It doesn't seem to bother me,
love is all that matters,
love is free, doesn't require money.
I got my health and some piece of mind,
bi-polar pills, mostly work,
on disability, sit home all day.
Published a book for no money,
but to promote costs an arm and a leg,
I cant afford all that and why,
everybody now, but, no money.
that's why I post every couple of days,
self promotion, is all I can do,
I'm sure you'd all do the same.
Had a ton of friends, when a young stoner,
lost touch with most of them,
thank you very much Facebook.
Now I can talk to some old friends,
see what their up too,
even if we never chat,
very grateful to see you all again.
My family lives so far away,
I miss you all so very much,
I have fun commenting on your posts,
picking on each other is what we do best.
I do wish I had some kind of life,
less Facebook and more socializing,
but, no money.
Well that's all for now,
I thank and love you all,
as I start to tear up at the eye.

https://www.facebook.com/AwesomeAllenWilbert

This Tale

This tale is about torture and pain,
thunder, lightning, wind and heavy rain.
This tale is about fortune and fame,
not enough of us get that claim.
This tale is about purple mountains majesty,
it doesn't even matter your nationality.
This tale is about ****** and ****,
two things I hope we all can escape.
This tale is about chains and whips,
a pretty smile and red juicy lips.
This tale is about magic and illusions,
conspiracy theories aren't just delusions.
This tale is about me and you,
hoping our friendship is never through.
This tale is about Jack and Jill,
I guess it was one slippery hill.
This tale is about movies and music,
sometimes loud and sometimes acoustic.
This tale is about love and peace,
salute military, firemen and some police.
This tale is about grades and school,
no more bullying on the non cool.
This tale has everything you need,
oh did I mention money and greed.
This tale is over and finished,
hope my reputation didn't get diminished.

Who Am I
so you think you know me
well nobody knows me
who am I
what am I
I wear an invisible mask
buried deep inside a flask
one day, I might come out
show you what I'm all about
my real identity
might never be revealed
it's in an envelope
and secretly sealed
my real name
you'll never know
I'm more famous
than Vincent Van Gogh
am I woman
am I man
I have a goal
I have a plan
someday you'll
know the truth
meanwhile, I'll just
keep playing a sleuth

Struggle Within

Feeling kinda down and out,
cat got the tongue, can't shout.
Feeling used and helpless,
only evil, no more goodness.
Seeking desperately for unknown knowledge,
long ago, you dropped out of college.
No one there to help you along,
everyone says, you don't belong.
A born loser everyone says,
popping pills, like from a Pez.
People wishing you were dead,
just a single bullet to the head.
Not one person ever cared,
people look at you and get scared.
You're a monster with no roar,
in your face, people slam the door.
Too afraid to go outside,
all applications got denied.
Cry all day, cry all night,
inside your mind, is a constant fight.
Maybe it's time to make a stand,
take your head out of the sand.
Did your best, but still you fail,
you're deaf, dumb and blind,
and still can't real braille.
A car accident destroyed your face,
nothing in its right place.
So you decide to end it all,
gun in mouth, as you start to fall.
Blood everywhere, as your soul escapes,
act is over, now lower the drapes.

Taking Over
Entered the room with high expectations,
but all I got was the case of frustrations,
needed some help with public relations,
felt like a fight at the United Nations.
They fly in on their private jet,
rich and powerful, making girls wet,
too me they show little threat,
but they love to watch me sweat.
I have a vision, I have a dream,
willing to go to the court of supreme,
tried to gain all my self esteem,
things are about to get extreme.
This world, I'm taking over,
found my lucky four leaf clover,
they thought I was a funny joker,
til they saw my sharp shooting chauffeur.
No more am I the geek,
this world needs a little tweak,
felt good seeing people that weak,
now they listen, when I speak.
They all thought I was a traitor,
no longer am I the dumbwaiter,
somebody get me a translator,
because, I'm the new dictator.

Life

People are irate,
they sealed their own fate,
locked up, is the golden gate.
Nobody knows just why,
we all must say good-bye,
falling from the darkened sky.
Locked in a small room,
all you can smell is doom,
what if life will never resume.
Scratching and a crawling,
life can be so appalling,
why must we always be stalling.
Feeling like subjects,
wondering why life is so complex,
maybe we're all just special effects.
No journey, just a destination,
can't even turn the station,
death is becoming the latest sensation.
As for me, I believe in love,
no need to push and shove,
is there really a crying dove.
I don't believe in God,
I'm the only non fraud,
it's me you all should applaud.
Things can turn around,
just need to break it down,
then you too can wear the crown.
Together we can make things right,
no need to fuss and fight,
lets make the darkness seem bright.
I actually have no single clue,
over the cuckoo's nest I flew,
life is something, I just thought I knew.

Four Stories
Knew a man, name was Jack,
sure did smoke lots of crack.
As his teeth began to rot,
doctors discovered a brain clot.
When he died, no one did care,
just a story, I had to share.
Knew a girl, name was Beth,
all she did, was smoke ****.
Brain fried couldn't talk,
had to crawl, couldn't walk.
On the day, that she did die,
not one person, started to cry.
Knew a boy, name was Harrison,
sure did shoot, lots of ******.
Dozing off now and again,
always missing his **** vein.
People knew he'd die soon,
veins popped just like a balloon.
Know a man, name is Reid,
all he does is smoke too much ****.
smoked bowls, joints and a ****,
banging his chest like King Kong.
he is here, as I speak,
we're getting ****** and feeling weak.

House Of Death

Blood drips from the wall,
phone dead, can't make a call.
All the lights suddenly go out,
from the attic, I hear a woman shout.
I run for the door, but its locked,
is this the house where all the ghosts flocked.
All the widows are covered in bars,
I moved here to cover all my scars.
I now know why the house was so cheap,
how's a man supposed to get any sleep.
All the paintings have moving eyes,
since when have dead people become spy's.
I can't believe this house is haunted,
I'm getting used to it, but its not what I wanted.
Faucets dripping red all night long,
starting to feel like I belong.
Haven't left the house in a week,
this house is filled with plenty of mystique.
Searching all rooms for some kind of a clue,
the closer I get the louder they boo.
I can hear people banging on the door,
I wish I could tell them, that I don't mean to ignore.
Slowly I start to run out of food,
starvation is putting me in a bad mood.
I grab a hammer and break down the ****** walls,
living here sure takes a lot of *****.
Dead bodies behind the sheet rock,
if only these red walls could talk.
The screams I heard in the attic,
was a recording of a ghost hunter fanatic.
Found some old clippings of the past,
all my questions have been asked.
This was the house my great grandfather built,
he killed my family and had no guilt.
I am the only left family survivor,
then I got stabbed with a rusty screwdriver.
My family name is now gone forever,
I hope he doesn't know about my daughter Heather.
Before I died, I started a fire,
put some extra lint in the gas dryer.
Now my daughter will never know,
I just wish I could watch her grow.

Best Friends

You are my best friend,
be that way, til the end.
My life is so great,
we met when we were eight.
You lived on the same street,
just a matter of time, before we'd meet.
I was the new kid in town,
you helped erase my frown.
We played doctor at age of ten,
I was in love ever since then.
We were voted prom king and queen,
******* at age eighteen.
Got married, day after graduation,
our honeymoon was summer vacation.
We went to the same college,
bot having the same knowledge.
I have the greatest wife,
we have the perfect life.
Then it all fell apart,
you tore out my bleeding heart.
Took her life and off she went,
I tried everything to prevent.
There was nothing I could do,
she left me with ***** of blue.
Cancer was the reason for her departure,
lots of pain and tons of torture.
Now the kids live with me,
cancer has now set her free.
I begged her to stop smoking,
now my spirit is badly broken.
Took some time, but we got over,
I found myself a new four leaf clover.
Met a stripper from Santa Fe,
we got married without delay.
Our teenage boys both agreed,
they approved of daddy's ***** little deed.
Now I have a new best friend,
you should see the way she can bend.

Not meant to be offensive to any cancer victims,
I respect you all so very much just the way the story played out.

Facebook Posts

If you can't take the heat,
stay out of the kitchen,
sick of your complaining,
and all your silly *******.
Tired of reading all your rants,
or pictures of your brand new pants.
No reason for all this drama,
save that **** for your mamma.
No more pictures with stupid sayings,
stop counting all your silly blessings.
Don't care what you had for dinner,
it makes me hungry, hard to stay thinner.
Pokes, I get a bunch,
hundreds, and that's before lunch.
Family pictures, I love to see,
but I don't care about your shopping spree.
If you are sick, get well soon,
sometimes even I act like a buffoon.
I read all your Facebook posts,
so does all your family ghosts.
Read some good ones,
read some bad ones,
some **** so bad,
they give me the runs.
I entertain,
but even I sometimes fail,
send me money,
I ended up in Facebook jail.

Ghost

Ghost in the attic,
I can feel a certain static.
Ghost in the hall,
picture frames start to fall.
Ghost in my closet,
looking for a new deposit.
Ghost under my bed,
I hope its been fed.
Ghost in my mind,
not liking what they find.
Faucets begin to drip blood,
eyes tearing, starting to flood.
All doors begin to squeak,
so scared, I can't even speak.
Mind racing with evil thoughts,
all I can see are red spots.
Ghost inside, made me possessed,
sending a signal that's distressed.
Phone rings but no one there,
I'm a male version of Linda Blair.
Head spinning round and round,
if only I could just make a sound.
Moved into a house of hell,
my life is ******, if you couldn't tell.
I'm living to die,
but dying to live,
whatever I did,
this ghost won't forgive.
Now I'm a ghost, and the house for sale,
they didn't even wait for my last coffin nail.

Love The Way
Love the way you smile,
it will never go out of style.
Love the way you walk,
as I just stare and gawk.
Love the way we cuddle,
it helps forget, that we struggle.
Love the way we kiss,
every moment spent in bliss.
Love the way, you love me,
never have I felt so free.
Love the way, you make me feel,
sometimes I wonder, if it's real.
love your eyes
love your thighs
love your nose
love your toes
love your giggle
love your wiggle
love your lips
love your finger tips
Love the way, you get nervous,
Xanax we always purchase.
Love the way, we make love,
front, back, below or above.
All I'm really trying to say,
is that, I love you in every way.

Stole My Soul

Once again our paths will cross,
your blood will become my pasta sauce.
What you did, I won't stand for,
I will hunt you down like a wild boar.
You stole my money, you took my pride,
there is no place for you to hide.
I bought a knife, I bought a gun,
you took our daughter, you took our son.
I heard them beg for their daddy,
hoping I find you in some dark alley.
Counting the days till we meet,
then my life will be complete.
I will stab you once and shoot you twice,
hang your ears in my car like fuzzy dice.
Gut you just like a deer or pig,
use your hair as my wig.
Sell your organs on the black market,
use your skin to wallpaper my apartment.
Finally found out where you were living,
when I saw your face, I was suddenly forgiving.
Begged you to take me back,
then I saw your pipe filled with crack.
Took the kids and bolted out the door,
never would have thought, you'd become a *****.
Never once saw her face again,
the blood from my knife went down her drain.
Threw my gun into the river,
on my promise, I did deliver.

Taboo

Saw something that I shouldn't
helping myself, I just couldn't.
It was just standing there,
alone, but lacking no flare.
Oh the beauty, oh the grace,
so glad, it didn't see my face.
Maybe what I did was wrong,
in a place, I didn't belong.
What I saw, you wouldn't believe,
a web I practiced to deceive.
A part of me grew inside,
very long and very wide.
I should feel bad, but I do not,
maybe my brain has a clot.
Always tried to figure out a way,
felt like a hunter, stalking my prey.
What I saw, I'll never forget,
not a bit of any regret.
I will never tell what I saw,
but it's been awhile,
and I'm going through withdraw.

Advice

Hair is turning grey,
getting older by the day.
Some days feeling so young,
it helps to be well hung.
Always running out of money,
darkest days can still be sunny.
Life is filled with ups and downs,
always stand on solid grounds.
Been there, done that,
sometimes falling a bit flat.
Nothing like a great big hug,
high on life is the best drug.
Good deeds never go unnoticed,
stay alert and very focused.
Good things happen, to those who wait,
sometimes luck, sometimes fate.
When it rains it always pours,
never go out on three hour tours.
Life is nothing but a beauty contest,
a pop quiz that turns into a test.
Not enough highs and too many lows,
sometimes life really blows.
Drinking alone at the bar,
not everyone can be a star.
Live each day as the last,
aging happens so **** fast.
Stay ahead of the competition,
time to break the old tradition.
Never take no for an answer,
even when battling cancer.
Always refuse to lose,
gave up giving up, is what I choose.

Shut Up Already

All you do is just split hairs,
stop complaining, no one cares.
You *****, you moan, and you nag,
with a spoon, Id like to gag.
For the love a god, please shut up,
you bark more than a baby pup.
Will you please, just be quiet,
plus you're fat, go on a diet.
All I'm asking is for a hush,
do it now, learn how to rush.
If i had a remote, I give you a mute,
until you stop, I will wear my birthday suit.
Maybe duct tape will keep you silent,
I don't find that very violent.
Finally not another yap,
I laughed, I smiled I gave a clap.
Strapped her into an electric chair,
sorry *****, but life isn't fair.
Maybe I'm mean, maybe I'm cruel,
but in my house, no talking is the only rule.
Fried her up just like the rest,
on my wall, was a ****** from her chest.
This was the fifth girl, that didn't last,
shut their trap is all I ever asked.
If you happen to be my next girlfriend,
if you never talk, you'll last til the end.
Found a girl that was a mute,
the ******* is how we dispute.

So **** Cruel
I want to know, why you're such a *****,
is it because, you have a small ****.
I want to know, why you're so mean,
why do you always have to cause a scene.
I want to know what happened in your life,
you beat your kids, and you beat your wife.
I want to know, why you're so **** cruel,
you're more stubborn than a mule.
You have no friends,
will you ever make amends.
No one will ever like you,
whatever did you do.
I want to know, what's inside your head,
I just wish, that you would drop dead.
I want to know, why you're so **** cruel,
you used to be so funny and cool.
I want to know, why you lost your job,
maybe it's cause, you became a fat slob.
I want to know, why you're getting divorced,
is it something that is being enforced.
You lost your family, you lost your house,
I bet you're feeling smaller than a mouse.
I want to know, why you're so **** cruel,
so **** cruel.
Were you beaten as a child,
under *******, your name is filed.
How does it feel, to be all alone,
why do you even have a telephone.
I want to know, why you're so **** cruel,
so **** cruel.
On that day that you finally die,
not even I, will start to cry.
You are my dad,
your death will make me glad.
I just want to know, why you're so **** cruel,
so **** cruel.
You can rot in hell, for all we care,
we all hope that we are there.
Now it's years later, and I'm mean like you,
people now think that I'm cruel too.
Now you know why, I'm so **** cruel,
so **** cruel.

Before The Show

Before the show begins,
I have a poem, by an anonymous poet.
Arguably the greatest poet alive.
" Looking out my window,
I see rain, trees and a fence,
I bet so far your in suspense.
Fence is brown, leaves are green,
I'll admit it's a beautiful scene.
Reality is, the world is hell,
witches have put me in a spell.
Just when things are going right,
sunshine becomes the darkest night.
Never have I seen such dark,
like a helpless jogger in the park.
Life is good, life is bad,
I've had my share of both.
So much ******, so much ****,
molesters always seem to escape.
Then I think of all the good times,
and how you love all my forced rhymes.
Then I look back outside,
life again seems so simple.
The brown fence never looked so good,
rain all of a sudden doesn't look that bad.
Life is like a roller coaster,
no more missing persons on a poster.
This world has many winding roads,
life is better when shooting loads. "
And this concludes the poem of the day,
now the regular show may begin.

9 Years

Blood dripping from the walls,
getting nothing but crank calls.
Doors squeaking like never before,
not a chance, you could ignore.
Doors locked, windows won't break,
the house is now beginning to shake.
Moans coming from the attic,
nothing has ever been this dramatic.
Hearing noises from the basement,
dead bodies rising from the cement.
All the food is covered with maggots,
what is causing all this madness.
Hiding in the bedroom closet,
my body they want as a deposit.
Are they zombies or vampires,
maybe ghosts creating empires.
So scared, I **** my pants,
my body parts will become transplants.
This is the night of the living dead,
house built on a cemetery, so the demons said.
They tore the closet door wide open,
I stood there without a single motion.
They start to eat me piece by piece,
I could see my soul release.
The blood from the walls was mine,
the years I've been dead is nine.
For nine years, I've hid from hell,
I always wondered why I always had a bad smell.

End Of An Era

If not for bad luck, Id have none at all,
would love to rise, but always fall.
I've come close a few times,
but all I have are stupid rhymes.
Not sorry for what I used to write,
used to think my future was bight.
Now it's gloomy and it's dark,
I have no bite and barely a bark.
Used to think, I'd be famous,
all I am is a big fat ****.
Doing my best, but nothing works,
can't wait til I'm a corpse.
My caring days are long gone,
nothing more than a silly pawn.
Don't even feel like writing anymore,
rhyming has become nothing but a bore.
Thank you all for your support,
but my rhyming, I must abort.

If not for bad luck, Id have none at all,
would love to rise, but always fall.
I've come close a few times,
but all I have are stupid rhymes.
Not sorry for what I used to write,
used to think my future was bight.
Now it's gloomy and it's dark,
I have no bite and barely a bark.
Used to think, I'd be famous,
all I am is a big fat ****.
Doing my best, but nothing works,
can't wait til I'm a corpse.
My caring days are long gone,
nothing more than a silly pawn.
Don't even feel like writing anymore,
rhyming has become nothing but a bore.
Thank you all for your support,
but my rhyming, I must abort.

Letting Off Steam
living in sin
can't seem to win
not fun losing
it's not my choosing
waiting on that day
when you'll hear me say
I've finally won
shinning bright is the sun
not that I'm complaining
just some steam I'm draining
things go bad to worse
life is going in reverse
karma is kicking my ***
my destruction is mass
never have any money
some might find this funny
life has a few good points
drinking beer and rolling joints
life is what you make it
I was born to get ****
life ain't really that bad
but still I get so sad
I have a girl, I love so
in bed she never says no
my two kids, I love dearly
wish I could see them
more than just yearly
well I let off enough steam
sometimes my nightmare
is really just a happy dream

Beware
is there anybody out there
if so, please beware
body starting to twitch
brain is getting a glitch
blood boiling high
things starting to go awry
people are about to die
ran out of medication
no longer under sedation
look out world
here I come
it doesn't matter
where you're from
the color of your skin
very big or very thin
it doesn't matter
young or old
just do as you're told
find me the right pill
I really don't wanna ****
it's a habit
I can't break
I'll chew you up
like a fat juicy steak
find me now
help me out
or the last thing
you'll hear
is you shout

True Story

Hello, do you remember me,
I'm the one with no college degree,
turned out alright, wouldn't you agree.
Always wanted to be famous,
I've been called an ignoramus,
until now, I was just nameless.
All I ask now is for a home and car,
haven't quite gotten that far,
everyday I earn a brand new scar.
Asking for enough money to live,
if only I could learn to forgive,
I still have a lot more to give.
At my age, I haven't done enough,
not making excuses about life being tough,
is it that wrong, to take a little puff.
Two great kids I hardly see,
but I know they totally love me,
it's too bad having kids wasn't free.
Just when things are going right,
the sun goes down, and it becomes night,
if there is a God, I bet he does it out of spite.
I do my best to outweigh the bad to good,
never did what I have should,
I feel like my life is misunderstood.
At the age when things are supposed to get better,
they never sent me that very important letter,
well it's middle age I'm about to enter.
Still I always try and be positive,
so what if I'm a bit provocative,
well that's my **** prerogative.

800 Miles

My kids live 800 miles away,
do anything to see them everyday,
if only Santa would let me borrow his sleigh,
it sometimes feels like, I gave them a betray.
How I miss their beautiful smile,
last time I see them, well it's been awhile,
they seem happy with their life style,
if only I could walk that 800th mile.
Seeing them once year really *****,
but, I just don't have the bucks,
my life is in constant flux,
one month a year, I live in deluxe.
Fell behind in child support,
waiting to have my new day in court,
on the stick, I got the part that was short,
this is not a winning sport.
Sure we talk from time to time,
800 miles is a hell of a climb,
for eleven months, I pay for my crime,
**** , I feel like such a slime.
Catching up on what I owe,
I barely get to watch them grow,
all I eat is tons of crow,
to my kids, I now say hello.
My ten year old is named Amber,
she has style and plenty of glamour,
my eight year old Tyler, knows every answer,
sometimes their faces, I can't remember.
I know someday, we'll be together,
I'd be floating just like a feather,
no two kids I more treasure,
until then, I'm just gonna ride out the nasty weather.

Old MacAllen

Old MacAllen has a house,
abcde
and in this house he had a wife,
abcde
with a nag, nag here,
and a nag, nag there,
here a nag, there a nag
everywhere a nag, nag,
Old MacAllen has a house
abcde.
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij
and in this house he had a son,
fghij
with a whine, whine here,
and a whine, whine there,
here a whine, there a whine
everywhere a whine, whine,
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij.
Old MacAllen has a house,
klmno
and in his house he had a daughter,
klmno
with complaint, complaint here,
and a complaint, complaint there,
here a complaint, there a complaint
everywhere a complaint, complaint,
Old MacAllen has a house
klmno.
Old MacAllen has a house,
pqrst
and in his house he had some pets,
pqrst
with a bark, bark here,
and a meow, meow there,
here a bark, there a bark
everywhere a meow, meow,
Old MacAllen has a house
pqrst.
Old MacAllen has a house,
uvwxyz
this house he has,
made to much sound,
now there all buried,
deep down in the ground,
uvwxyz.

Say What
Wake up, wake up now,
when Batman punches, it reads pow.
First you're born, then you die,
just thinking about it, makes me cry.
Take advantage of every situation,
life is just fact or fiction.
No one knows, what the future will bring,
mud is the best medicine for a bee sting.
Take a shower when you stink,
farts can leave your eyes pink.
Sometimes life can seem rough,
remember someone else has it more rough.
Most friends are just fake,
so be good for goodness sake.
Some follow, some lead,
red is the color, we all bleed.
Don't ponder on a troubled past,
live now, and have a blast.
Go to sleep, go to sleep now,
first take your farewell bow,
Some give, some receive,
some fail, some achieve.
As the world fades to black,
yakety yak, don't talk back.

Time
time is here
time is now
time to make my final bow
I am done
can't take no more
it's time to slam the door
nothing left to say
nothing left to write
I've taken my final bite
nobody knows
nobody cares
no more time to split hairs
nobody listens
nobody reads
feels like I'm pulling weeds
I won't be missed
I won't be remembered
my pen I gladly surrendered
good-bye to you
good-by to me
it's time to set my soul free

I

Grab my pen and paper and write down some words,
**** the green trees and all the colorful birds.
I write about destruction and pain,
I love wind, thunder, lightning and heavy rain.
I write about ******, I write about ****,
just for fun, it's a good mental escape.
I write about love, when in the mood,
*** is better when in the ****.
I write about me as often as I can,
why not I am the greatest man.
I write about blood gushing from your chest,
it helps me relax, when feeling stressed.
I love to scare, I love to shock,
my words are better than my talk.
I write about my kids, but not enough,
I love writing while in the buff.
I write about the woman I love,
when we fight, I wanna get rid of.
I write about alcohol, drugs and pills,
after buying them, I can't afford my bills.
I write about friends, real or fake,
their all sneaky, slimy, just like a snake,
I can make you smile and giggle,
I love watching a girl wiggle.
If you like me than great,
but it's ok if me you hate.
Writing sets my mind at ease,
I beg you to buy my book please.
I alone made Facebook what it is today,
my rough life has turned my hair gray.
I love to brag, I love to boast,
I deserve a Comedy Central Roast.
One last thing before I go,
my car broke down, can someone give me a tow.

Red Note

I slit my wrist, blood dripping down,
life without you is a ghost town.
I blame myself for this mess,
all the drama caused me stress.
Feeling no pain, body is numb,
don't look at me like you're succumb.
I left you a note, just some words left unsaid,
by the time you read this, it will be red.
When you left, I was in tears,
our love shifted in different gears.
As you can see, I never recovered,
I watched my soul as it hovered.
I figured you suffered long enough,
you dared me to, and I called your bluff.
You left me alone and in the dark,
your bite was worse than your bark.
You pushed and pushed til I fell over the ledge,
this suicide note is my dying pledge.
Grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer,
I wish you were here, to see the blood pour.
When you shut the light out in my office,
swore never again will I be cautious.
At least you let me clean out my desk,
last I looked in the mirror, I was grotesque.
Didn't mean to lose millions of dollars,
this building is a community filled with scholars.
My boss said I committed career suicide,
I knew one day, our heads would collide.
The love I had was for my job,
I even had a golden door ****.
The blood I speak of is red ink,
losing my job drove me to drink.
While writing this note my pen exploded,
the knife was my pen that had eroded.
I would never really slit my wrist,
although it would be one hell of a twist.

In the darkness, filled with pain,
memories are all that remain.
Remembering the days that once was,
doing things, well just because.
I've awoken in this wooden grave,
its to late now, you can't save.
Thinking I'm dead, but not quite sure,
maybe I'm alive, on a six foot under tour.
There is no bright light, in case you're wondering,
trust me, cause I'm endlessly searching.
Not really sure how I died,
my friend and family, alive they cried.
Didn't wanna be buried in a wooden box,
wanted my ashes spread, where I took my walks.
I can't see a stairway to heaven,
I hope that answers everyone's question.
There is no highway to hell,
if there was, I'd surely stop at the famous California hotel.
I used to believe in reincarnation,
but now the maggots have started their infestation.
Never did make out a living will,
sometimes life is a bitter pill.
Not sure if I ever said my last goodbyes,
but I can feel tears dripping from my eyes.

I Like
I like people who are short
I like people that are tall,
I like people with a wart,
I like people with a doll.
I like people who do drugs,
I like people who work,
I like people who give hugs,
I like people who are a ****.
I like people who are nice,
I like people that are mean,
I like people who give advice,
I like girls over eighteen.
I like girls in a thong,
I like girls in a summer dress,
I like girls from Hong Kong.
I like girls that are a hot mess.
I like girls in a bikini,
I like girls that are pretty,
I like girls dressed as a genie,
I like girls who show me pity.
I like girls who are smart,
I like girls who are dumb,
I like girls, not afraid to ****,
I like girls who make me ***.
Not one thing I don't like,
I like to walk, I like to bike.
I like *** in a bed,
I like *** on the couch,
I like *** with the dead,
I like *** with Oscar the Grouch.
I like *** in the open,
I like *** in private,
I like *** with a Trojan,
I like *** in any climate.
I like everything, can't you tell,
except people who really smell.

Gave Up

I gave up trying to care,
no one ever answered my prayer.
People always ask for advice,
then do the complete opposite,
it makes me so sick, I wanna *****.
Always getting stabbed in the back,
all the ******* is starting to stack.
People say they are your friend,
most of them just play pretend.
Drinking and drugs dull the pain,
but I only have myself to blame.
Every time I think I've turned the corner,
they put up another ******* border.
Nothing I do is ever good enough,
people are always calling my bluff.
Even when I try my best,
every blue moon, I pass the test.
Freedom is just a big fat joke,
so what if I'm ******* broke.
House is always a mess,
I could care less.
Stuck in total darkness,
my body is just a rotting carcass.
Don't care about you,
don't care about me,
just **** me, so I can finally feel free.
I live in a reckless abandon,
is there such a thing as a companion.
Life ***** then you die,
I bet nobody will even cry.
There is no god to pray to,
girls just leave my ***** blue.
I shoot ******, I smoke ****,
soon I will wish for death.
My question has no answer,
I smoke just so I can get cancer.
I'm begging on both my knees,
for someone to take my life please.
Will probably live til I'm a hundred,
chained to this worlds unholy dungeon.

Tree House

Everyday is all the same,
I hate the player, I hate the game,
I myself is only to blame.
Help me please find my way,
if not tomorrow, how bout today.
Yesterday, might have been too late,
My brain in gone, my mind is blown.
Everything dark, I must be blind,
on the dotted line, I signed.
Each day is a slap to the face,
no one left to help embrace.
A lost soul, I've become,
it's only death that I dream.
I live in a tree house,
somewhere in the woods,
only wishing, I had a car,
boy, did my life get real far.
I scratch and I crawl,
just for a lousy dime.
It's me you ignore,
as I beg,
if female, I'd show some leg.
All alone searching for a friend,
I lived that way til the very end.
Went to sleep, never woke up,
at least I didn't suffer with pain.
Didn't take long for the buzzards,
maggots oozing from my brain.
As the flies circle overhead,
chances are, I must be dead.

Two Girls

Sick and tired of your crap,
I stay up, while you nap.
I work all day, while you stay home,
You went to Paris, I went to Rome.
We don't have one thing in common,
can't you tell, Houston we have a problem.
We both know this won't last,
soon we'll be each others past.
have you found someone else,
maybe it's time to take off our belts.
Five years right down the drain,
I toasted our break-up with champagne.
No more of our week long fights,
no more of your dog that bites.
No more eating your bad cooking,
actually, I never thought you were that good looking.
Thinking back I miss your smile,
wishing I had a picture of you on file.
Its been a year and now I'm depressed,
meanwhile your rich boyfriend keeps you fancy dressed.
Never thought I'd miss you this much,
you always did have a magic touch.
Then finally, I found someone new,
she reminds me so much of you.
Then one night your new man died,
you came over and on my shoulder you cried.
You called me each and every day,
bouncing two girls seems so cliche.
Not sure which girl, I should keep,
went outside to find them kissing in my Jeep.
They saw me and started to laugh,
my whole world was just cut in half.
I guess I'm destined to be alone,
now only my hand makes me moan.

I Can't
I can't write
I can't read
I can't bite
I can't feed
I can't walk
I can't crawl
I can't talk
I can't call
I can't drive
I can't ride
I can't strive
I can't abide
I can't jump
I can't skip
I can't ****
I can't dip
I can't cry
I can't laugh
I can't die
I can't gaffe
I can't look
I can't listen
I can't cook
I can't glisten
all because I lost my pride
all I am is dead inside

A Boys Tale
Little boy with a train,
hiding from all the pain.
Daddy left, when he was five,
he took a very long drive.
Left mommy all alone,
how could someone disown.
Mommy got very stressed
not to mention very depressed.
Started popping many pills,
stopped paying all the bills.
The boy is the age of eight,
mommy goes out, comes home late.
Boy cries day and night,
in school, always in a fight.
Hasn't bathed in a week,
this boy is starting to reek.
Teacher finally called the mom,
your son is one stink bomb.
Moms condition is getting worse,
the teacher, she did curse.
Now mom is smoking crack,
on her son, she turned her back.
Social services, stepped right in,
in this tale, nobody will win.

Bus Or Bust
do you remember
standing at the door
reaching for the stars
pockets filled with dreams
bound for success
but fame is farther
than it seems
I was with you
when you hopped on the bus
you told me
nothing left to discuss
you made up your mind
as you left for Hollywood
I saw darkness as you left
the life you knew
wasn't gonna be good
take that bus
and leave me far behind
people out there
will not be so kind
you begged for mercy
when things got too tough
hate to tell you so
but I said it would be rough
I'll be there
soon as I can
I'll always be
your back-up man
we'll spread our wings
and you'll soon see
that we control
our own destiny
next time take me with you
forever we'll be like glue
stick with me
and you'll know why
no more buses
will ever pass us by

Marriage

You like to drink,
I like to smoke,
you'd like to think,
that I am big joke.
You like to rock,
I like to roll,
we go for a walk,
but it ends up a stroll.
You like to read,
I like to write,
whenever we talk,
it ends up being a fight.
You like honesty,
I like to lie,
I find it funny,
when you start to cry.
You like to spend,
I like to save,
you love to cut,
when I have to shave.
You like romance,
I like horror,
You're name is Dora,
and I'd like to explore ya.
You like to eat,
I like to munch,
we love each other,
so **** much.
Twenty years and going strong,
I'm always right,
you're always wrong.
The *** is great,
and we love to cuddle,
in the bed,
there is always a puddle.
You like me,
I like you,
another woman,
always makes two.
Sometimes I watch,
sometimes I join,
either way,
I have a happy groin.

Three Steps

Time has come for a change,
give yourself a rearrange.
Take the old you and give it a toss,
become your own ******* boss.
Who cares what people think,
drive those ******* to the brink.
Make them bow at your feet,
don't you ever accept defeat.
No more kissing anyone's ***,
empty their tank, till they run out of gas.
Always do what you gotta do,
who the hell do they think they're talking to.
Be the master of your own destiny,
if a door is closed, just say open sesame.
It doesn't take brain, it doesn't take brawn,
if you get tired, don't ever yawn.
Now you're ready for the second step,
better hurry up, no time for a prep.
No longer will you take any ****,
in their face, give them a spit.
Lie, cheat and always steal,
who cares about how they feel.
Push the losers out of the way,
let them know you're here to stay.
Take the bull by the horns,
always take charge, never take turns.
If they don't approve to **** bad,
never subtract and always add.
Now it's time for step three,
take what you want, even if it's not free.
***** your enemies in the ****,
make them bleed, like they've been cut.
People in your way, just shoot them dead,
don't be afraid to chop off their ****** head.
You've now reached the point of no return,
these are the steps that you must learn.
Life is a survival of the fittest,
never leave behind any kind of witness.
In life you must always take charge,
then you will find yourself living large.
These three steps you must always follow,
if not you might not be around to see tomorrow.

Lost
Looking for my lost soul,
lost somewhere in a black hole.
Its been missing for some time,
endless mountains, I must climb.
Not a light to be seen,
been this way, since a teen.
Caught in a strangle hold,
always doing what I'm told.
Holding feelings deep inside,
long ago, I lost my pride.
Please help me find my way,
saved no pennies, for a rainy day.
Searching desperately for a light,
but knowing it's an endless fight.
Seems like, I'm lost at sea,
only death will set me free.

I Hate/I Love

I hate people that are wrong,
I hate people that don't belong,
I hate smoking from a ****.
I love women that are black,
I love women that are white,
I love women that are tight.
I hate gossip, I hate drama,
I hate using an inverted comma,
I hate Presidents,
that look like a black llama.
I love a cheap *****,
I love how they wear that special stamp,
I also love lamp.
I hate American Idol,
I hate Glee,
I hate a lot, don't you agree.
I love money,
I love fame,
I love my picture, in a golden frame.
I hate things that are weak,
I hate people that are too nice,
I hate saying the same thing twice,
I hate saying the same thing twice.
I love wrestling, even though it's fake,
I love the Phillies, if you wanna talk baseball,
I love that with me, you're all in awe.
I hate begging,
I hate asking,
I hate my car, when I'm crashing.
I love family,
I love friends,
I love the way this poem ends.

I'm Everything

I'm big, I'm bad,
I'm small, I'm sad.
I'm eccentric, I'm emotional,
I'm pure, I'm promotional.
I'm all that and a bag of chips,
I'm a solar and a lunar eclipse.
I'm white, I'm wise,
I'm Allen, I'm arise.
I'm ugly, I'm unique,
I'm awesome, I'm antique.
I'm an occasional smoker,
I'm a midnight toker.
I'm calm, I'm cool,
I'm creepy, I'm cruel.
I'm ****, I'm sweet,
I'm nice, I'm neat.
I'm a man on a mission,
I'm a little fact and a little fiction.
I'm amazing, I'm art,
I'm silent, I'm smart.
I'm ******, I'm drunk,
I'm jealous, I'm junk.
I'm a man with plenty of regret,
I'm a man forever in debt.
I'm hungry, I'm *****,
I'm crazy, I'm corny.
I'm man, I'm monster,
I'm Emmy, I'm Oscar.
I'm all these things up above,
I'm also a man filled with love.

Meant To ****
Sun sets in the west,
full moon slowly rising.
You can hear the distant howls,
so far, I've used twenty vowels.
Playing baseball with some friends,
it ain't over til it's over.
Hit myself a line drive double,
tried for third, but got in trouble.
Do you care what I say,
if you don't, then it's ok.
Time flying so very fast,
hard to remember my troubled past.
Who cares what you think,
this poem is starting to stink.
Not everyone can be a classic,
I was due for a clunker.
Not every dog has its day,
poor dogs, they have no say.
Some may bark, some may bite,
putting then down, isn't a pretty sight.
This poor poem had no chance,
I just gave it a second glance.
Time to put this out of its misery,
and finally end this poem catastrophe.

Stay Alive
to stay alive
you must survive
be on top
don't ever stop
never be depressed
always feel blessed
cheaters never win
living in sin
one, two three
always feel free
four, five six
girls like licks
seven, eight nine
you look fine
eyes wide open
lids are frozen
red, juicy lips
love family trips
just three words
smoke some herbs
write a poem
while in Rome
go have fun
because I'm done