800 Miles

My kids live 800 miles away,
do anything to see them everyday,
if only Santa would let me borrow his sleigh,
it sometimes feels like, I gave them a betray.
How I miss their beautiful smile,
last time I see them, well it's been awhile,
they seem happy with their life style,
if only I could walk that 800th mile.
Seeing them once year really *****,
but, I just don't have the bucks,
my life is in constant flux,
one month a year, I live in deluxe.
Fell behind in child support,
waiting to have my new day in court,
on the stick, I got the part that was short,
this is not a winning sport.
Sure we talk from time to time,
800 miles is a hell of a climb,
for eleven months, I pay for my crime,
**** , I feel like such a slime.
Catching up on what I owe,
I barely get to watch them grow,
all I eat is tons of crow,
to my kids, I now say hello.
My ten year old is named Amber,
she has style and plenty of glamour,
my eight year old Tyler, knows every answer,
sometimes their faces, I can't remember.
I know someday, we'll be together,
I'd be floating just like a feather,
no two kids I more treasure,
until then, I'm just gonna ride out the nasty weather.

Rhyming Is My Business

Working on a secret mission,
brain in unstable condition,
don't believe in superstition,
will charge for admission.
Life flashing before my eyes,
tongue tied between her thighs,
maggots soon become flies,
my ***** is the perfect size.
I am number one,
writing is just for fun,
never will I own a gun,
life has just begun.
I'm my own best friend,
friends and family, I will defend,
texted you, but forgot to send,
my funeral, I will attend.
Sometimes I need a helping hand,
life never goes as planned,
Facebook is becoming bland,
nothing beats a good hair band.
****** is a bad addiction,
why is fact called nonfiction,
dying is not a prediction,
life is just a contradiction.
With me you're in awe,
it's just an unwritten law,
never miss Monday Night Raw,
when I don't write, you go through withdraw.
I am just the very best,
to hell with all the rest,
nothing beats a woman's chest,
knowing me, you should be blessed.

Poem Man

It's twelve o'clock on a Friday,
the regular crowd stumbles in,
there's a gay man sitting next to me,
making love to his friend that is thin.
Son can you write me a classic,
don't really care if it's paper or plastic.
It's hard and it's heavy and I used to know it,
back in the day when I wore clothes.
Write us a poem, you're the poem man,
write us a poem tonight,
we're all in the mood for a classic,
and you're **** makes us feel just right.
Bill at the bar is an old friend,
he gets me my smokes for free,
he knows all the jokes,
and lights everyone's smokes,
but there's another place he'd rather be.
Allen, I believe this is killing me,
as his grin turns into a frown,
he'd rather work for the circus,
if only he could just be a clown.
The waitress is practicing rolling,
as the actors slowly get high,
they share a joint they call happiness,
and it's better than saying goodbye.
Frank is an upcoming novelist,
never had time for a man,
talking to Barney,
who's still in the army,
but gives it up whenever he can.
It's a decent crowd for a Friday,
as the owner gives me a wink,
he knows it's me,
they've been coming to see,
cause smoking is better than a drink.
My pen it writes like a symphony,
and my paper smells like a joint,
they sit at my bar,
and throw buds in my jar,
and say, man just get to the point.
Write us a poem, you're the poem man,
write us a poem tonight,
we're all in the mood for a classic,
and you're **** makes us all feel just right.

Opposites

happy, mad
joy, sad
in, out
silent, shout
sunny, rain
pleasure, pain
big, small
Spring, Fall
rich, broke
serious, joke
win, lose
sober, *****
red, blue
false, true
pencil, pen
Barbie, Ken
up, down
smile, frown
Every word has an opposite,
I deserve a national monument.
walk, run
knife, gun
sneaker, shoe
me, you
****, ****
hit, miss
night, day
straight, gay
woman, man
bottle, can
No one is better than me,
that's the way it will always be.

Final Goodbye

No one cares if I live or die,
even friends can't look me in the eye,
don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nobody left to trust,
living in total disgust,
winds are beginning to gust.
No god, no devil, no heaven, no hell,
on that, I never dwell,
all I can say is, oh well.
Not worth even living,
never taking, always giving,
six feet under, I'm digging.
Goals and dreams, I'll never achieve,
we all practice to deceive,
life makes me want to heave.
I will never have any money,
don't laugh, it's not funny,
always dark, never sunny.
Just wishing I was dead,
one bullet to the head,
my whole life, I've been mislead.
I'm just living on borrowed time,
up hill, I'll always climb,
feeling like a piece of slime.
As I await my final breath,
all I do is beg for death,
all I wanted was some respect.
I will now say my last goodbye,
I don't need to explain why,
I gave living my best try.

Death Of A *****

Blood gushing from the nose,
already chopped off your toes.
You treat me bad, I treat you worse,
your body, I will disperse.
Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth,
now it's time for the truth.
You lie and you cheat,
death will make my life complete.
You're a ***** and a ****,
I'm ****** and a nut.
You stabbed me in the leg,
then I cracked you like an egg.
I tore out your beating heart,
that was only just the start.
As you lie on the ****** floor,
it was death to a stupid *****.
You tried your very best,
but no longer am I depressed.
Your blood I drank like juice,
no longer could I take abuse.
You're somebody who won't be missed,
your life is now permanently dismissed.
This was a death of a *****,
my killing spree is up to four.
Cheat on me and you'll be next,
and you too will be my ex.

Old MacAllen

Old MacAllen has a house,
abcde
and in this house he had a wife,
abcde
with a nag, nag here,
and a nag, nag there,
here a nag, there a nag
everywhere a nag, nag,
Old MacAllen has a house
abcde.
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij
and in this house he had a son,
fghij
with a whine, whine here,
and a whine, whine there,
here a whine, there a whine
everywhere a whine, whine,
Old MacAllen has a house
fghij.
Old MacAllen has a house,
klmno
and in his house he had a daughter,
klmno
with complaint, complaint here,
and a complaint, complaint there,
here a complaint, there a complaint
everywhere a complaint, complaint,
Old MacAllen has a house
klmno.
Old MacAllen has a house,
pqrst
and in his house he had some pets,
pqrst
with a bark, bark here,
and a meow, meow there,
here a bark, there a bark
everywhere a meow, meow,
Old MacAllen has a house
pqrst.
Old MacAllen has a house,
uvwxyz
this house he has,
made to much sound,
now there all buried,
deep down in the ground,
uvwxyz.