My biggest fear
Is that I'll wake up in 10 years
And still miss you

I hope every cigarette you place between your lips knows how lucky it is to be there,
I hope every bottle you grab a hold of falls in love with the warmth of your finger tips; I know I did.

my tears
remind me
I am real

my emotions
have frostbite
exposed to
such coldness
they shut off
so I feel nothing at all

then misery comes around
and warms them up
just enough
so I can
feel
the true pain I am in

how critical my state is

it's ironic
how major depression
can make me
oblivious
to how depressed
I really am

like floating inside
a storm cloud
living in gray
experiencing
nothing
but blandness

until I fall
just a small amount
and realize
I'm inside
a torrential downpour
big enough
to sink Noah and his ark
big enough
to swallow this planet whole

I always asked if she were alright
Before I knew she wasn't
Always and always, sometimes I though it annoyed her
But to have someone must've been a relief

She began to be honest with me, said that she wasn't
She didn't cut but she hurt herself
At first I was concerned, I tried to help
By telling her to talk to a professional

She did, eventually, but by then I had gone
I guess, the stress... I couldn't take it anymore
The length of time where all I did was talk
Not capable of action, and she just kept at it

Not sure if she still does, if she does she'd say nothing
For I left her, my selfish reasons, my limits pushed
My way out of self-destruction, was only to leave behind
A girl I had grown to love

Now I destroy myself anyway
I harm myself to release myself
Stress, anger, depression or impulse
Now I see why she harmed herself

If it, were not
for such an exquisite smile,
blessed with such lovely lips,
graced with such amazing taste -  
                                 my heart would be mine.
For I am left,
enchanted by your flavor
wishing only for more,
for that, I am awaiting.

Who came up with the word slaughter?
did they think killing things was funny?