I used to think I was an anxious child.

Now, I realize my parents
Could never accept my love.

Sitting
Sinking
Into cloud landing

Falling through
Still sleeping
In white dust

Will my toes
Ever touch
The ground

Or will I be
Stuck - eyes closed
Forever

In a daydream

I was torn from my slumber
Like moss from a stump
By little kid fingers.

Forcibly ****** back into a reality
I did not want to live.

Because in that reality
My family becomes
Monsters.

And I become a slot machine.

And spit it out.

Like a *** of wet paper
Fired straight from a straw

I want to inhale it. Taste it. Swallow it.

Make it take shape in my chest; Douse the fires raging in the bowels of my being as they threaten to burn through, scalding my soft belly like embered iron.

Let me protect you.

I will eat up every last bit of sorrow you hold and endlessly fight for your worth.

Clutching my chest
I can’t breath
I can’t see
I can’t be
Me

Hands that eagerly grasped
Emptiness
Now clutch dirt beneath
Our feet
Because no one gave them
Something to hold

Feels like fear.

Depression
Is my peace.

Laughter
Helps me see.

Isolation
Is my relief.