When I closed my eyes I saw the pupils of another
Staring deeply back within the darkness
So deep they penetrated my own as if I were gazing upon a mirror
My vision slowly pulled out in fear
Yet it did not try to pull focus once more
So unlike the usual eyes that haunt my every slumber
With a face full in colour and strangely familiar
And a breath that I could hear and feel
As if a tide caressing a wave back to the embrace of the open sea
His breath captured me as it touched my skin
Into his waters was I carried
Yet kept there I was not
For when I pulled out there was no ransom
I was freed upon my surrender

So relaxed I laze about with you
What would usually drive a self destructive routine has broken its course
Allowing me, i believe, to give my attention and mind (most of the time) to the moment I am in
Time sees to fly by, and this euphoria does not come about as if frozen
But moves faithfully with the ticking clock
As if carried by the hands of time

I like you, I love all, and alike I do love you
But you are different
In a way I cannot define, nor have much urge to uncover
I thought about locating your tree of soul
But I knew within seconds, maybe minutes that I would not be able to
Unless I paid a loving price
And right now that love is moving as a tide
Seeping through us both and filling the air around us
The euphoric moment that embraces us has spread to space from mind
We're doing it- I hope
Without body or mind we are creating what was lost(maybe forgotten)
Heaven.
Nirvana
Home

You probably think I'm like the rest of them
A bitter broken hearted woman
Doing all I can to **** you off
Intentionally making my moves to provoke you...
To make you feel at least a bit of the pain I am in.
Oh, how wrong you are

We cut the ties with different explanations
But in thoughts we both knew the truth
You couldn't find the courage to choose me
Didn't have the ***** to take on whatever may come
I could. And I've fought the toughest battle for us both
So you wouldn't have to

I am in pain, we both can see that
As I struggle to keep hold of the threads I knew I had to cut
Keeping you close even though it burns me
Still fantasizing although you shattered the dream
But I'm not bitter, in fact the pain has stolen all sensation from me
Leaving a dry emptiness from the salt of tears free falling

Our meeting tonight was awkwardly comforting
Having you near felt right, as we are meant to be
But the air was thick with ghosts reminding me
Taunting me with whispers-  I can't win you
So I seemed cold.. But in truth I was numbing myself to the bullying
They got me

I don't want to haunt you
I love you as I did before, please believe me
I only took the thing you have tried to pull me off to keep you close
Pathetic it may be, but it's all I can do
So I press finger and thumb to what your hands have so recently held
Killing myself, only to live another life with you

I guess I haven't been waiting
Because to do so means you have something to wait for
It's ironic
The one place I abstain from is exactly where I've been this whole time
Fantasy
Because you never told me to wait for you
You never said you were mine when I told you I was yours
Never did you proclaim our being together
So why should I have expected you to be faithful?
When I wasn't a partner all along

I'm just living up to my name
Dreaming in this wonderland-like matrix
Thinking my saving myself for you meant anything
Believing you we're doing the same
I fantasized an image of you that whispered hopes for the future
Who promised his heart would open
And let me in
To love me

I haven't stopped loving you the way I always have
I haven't even looked to others for the affection you refuse me
The sustenance you starve me of

I haven't tried to change you although I'm sure you'd say otherwise
Nor have I tried to lure you with tempting bribes
In fact I was the one changing throughout these times
And if i had the choice, I wouldn't have it any other way

Because you told me time and time again of your right of choice
And though i respect this, you still find ways to accuse my words of being authoritative
Can't you see that I am the only one that preserves you barely free Will?
Or has your lie been told so many times you believe it truth

You've turned my cries of hurt into unfair apologies
And I've allowed this belittling as long as I can stand
I have fought the battle for the two of us so far
Because you said you wouldn't be long

But long has long passed
And your feet seem more solidly where they are
You never send word of your expected arrival
I'm stranded, alone, loving a man that shows no love

So I call to you, in the only way I can
To say I have dropped your sword as well as mine
It's your turn to practice this free will you apparently have
Choose if you are to run after me, or are to remain.

Sinking through the the grounds upon which you stand to the fires of the prison we all know below.

Sorry for not sleeping
I guess I should realize now that no matter how silent I move
You still hear everything that passes through my mind
I guess I want to believe that you're able to cut me out
And get some sleep for yourself
We can both agree that's not the case
I could see from your face as you fled my company

You know me- I'm a optimistic pessimist
Realizing all too well the ****** situations
Then unintentionally uncovering the good too come
I wish you could see through my eyes
Just like they do
Then you'd see although we're no better than zombies
Our love has not only connected us, but made us one

We feel the same things
And though your words oppose my own
I know now they don't come from your lips
Their taste is flavorless
As their sound is foreign
They don't caress me upon hearing with breaks of cooling breath.
Baby, I'm sorry, we'll sleep tonight.

I introduced myself just a few days ago
And now we've become one and the other
New friends with a history from creation
I'm told in past lives we were lovers
And reminded that we are first life soulmates
Made for each other
Designed together only to be torn apart
Each life we spend our time pulling our puzzle pieces back together
Where I end we begin
When we finish humanity is born