His words screamed louder than her demons,
But what she didn't know was that he would leave her
And let her demons destroy her.

I don't know what to say.
I can't speak,
You have taken all my words.
I can't find the words to describe you
And how you make me feel.

There is only one thing I can say:
               I love you.

I loved you so much
But you still left me.
For a girl who would give you what you wanted.

I cried over you
But you never shed a tear over me.
Because you were too bust being 'entertained' by another girl.

I cut over you
But you only smiled at the scars they left.
Because you started to 'love' your new girl.

Breath in.
Breath out.
You're fine.
For now.
But how long can I stay hidden?
Soon they will find me.
I don't know how much longer I can bare this pain.
Its more than just emotional,
Its physical too.
But I have to hide it.
The bruises on my arms,
"I just fell."
The scratches and cuts on me,
"It was my cat."
Lies.
It was them.
My parents.

How many times are you going to yell at me?
I didn't mean to.
I just was looking at the knife
And then the next thing I know,
You are here screaming at me as you bandage my bleeding arm.

How many times are you going to scream at me?
I didn't mean to.
I was born
And look at me, I was a mistake from the beginning.
And yet it still hurts when you scream at me
Because I know that you truly don't care about me
And you will leave me just like they did.

What a fool I was.
I honestly thought that you loved me.
Now, I'm back at square one
With my heart broken again.
Only this time,
I'm never falling in love again.

Thousands of
Missiles
Are aimed
At my heart,
But yours
Was the first to
Strike.

Words, thoughts
Tangled together in my mind,
Waiting for the one little push
That makes me fall off the edge.

You words,
Once so sweet,
Are now like
Knifes that make me
Bleed.

Pathetic.
Disappointment.
*****.

Ha.

I thought you were supposed to be my friend.
All that time I spent by your side.
Every single time you left me and I stayed by your side.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND!

But no, you had to ******* mess with my life.
You had to make my other friends hate me.
You had to make me want to die even more.

What a wonderful friend you are.
You said we would be together forever.
You ******* liar.

Fade.
I'll fade away from your memory.

Don't worry.
You barely even remember me now.

I'm screaming,
But no one hears me.

I'm screaming,
But no one cares to save me.

I'm drowning,
But no one sees me.

I'm drowning,
But no one will save me from myself.

People think that my life is perfect.
My smiles are real.
My cover wrists aren't scared.
My eyes don't shed a tear.

People are wrong.
My smiles are fake.
My wrists are scared.
My eyes shed thousands of tears.

People think that my life is perfect.
My parents are sweet and nice.
My body is only bruised because I fell.
My spirit isn't shattered.

People are wrong.
My parents are monsters.
My body is bruised because of them.
My spirit is completely shattered into a million pieces.

I've run out of words to say,
The pain is taking over,
All I can do is feel,
And I can't speak at all.

My heart is racing
With fear
As I wait for the first hit.

I don't remember how this started
But
I do know how it will end.

After the last hit falls,
I will crawl defeated, to my room
And drown my sorrow in alcohol.

I have been weak.
I have been strong.
But sometimes,
You need to see blood.

It hurts.
It hurts when you are betrayed.
Especially if the one who betrayed you was the one friend you have known for seven years.

But you know what they say.

The worst thing about betrayal is that it doesn't come from you enemies.
It comes from your closest friends.

The sky goes grey
As it rains blood.
The screams of angels
Roar like the wind.
As the angels finally fall.

I sit alone in the dark crying.
We broke up,
But I still love you,
And yet you love another girl.
I got another guy to try and replace you,
But I cant.
So again I sit in a dark room,
As tears create another river of sorrow and loss.

As I sit here, watching the sun set,
I can't help the flow of memories that come to haunt me.
I can't help but think of the times we watched the sun set together.
I used to be sad every time I sat on this roof,
But now, it is the safest place for me.

You say I'm insane.
You are right.
I am insane.
I am broken.
I am shattered.
I am absolutely insane.

"Amber, you're ugly."
"I know, Mom."
Please stop reminding me.

"Amber, you're fat."
"I know, Dad."
Can't you see I'm trying to be skinny?

"Amber, what is that on your wrist?"
"Nothing, Mom."
You wouldn't care even if I told you the truth.

"Amber, you only hurt yourself to get attention."
"I'm sorry, Dad."
No, I'm not trying to get anyone's attention.

"Amber, you are so pathetic and lazy."
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry."
I'm trying to please you by doing what you want me to.

"Your only here becuase your mother ***** me."
"You have already told me that, Dad."
I'm sorry I'm here.

"Don't call me your mother."
"Yes, Ma'am."
I always knew you hated me, but don't worry, I hate myself too.

"Why are you even here?"
"Becuase of Mother."
I honestly don't know becuase I should be dead.

I'm drowning.
And no one cares enough to save me.

You told me to be strong
And I'm trying to be strong.
But even the strongest diamond
Eventually **breaks.

Helpless against you,
I can't do anything, but wait.
Wait for you to say something,
Wait for you to tell me that you still care.
But, I know that I am waiting on nothing.

What did I do to deserve you?
Are you blind or stupid or crazy for sticking around?

What did I do to deserve your love?
That's right, I don't deserve it.

What did I do to deserve your attention?
I don't deserve anything from you.

Please tell me what I did!
I need to find out.

What you never knew
Ultimately destroyed me
And my whole life.

What you never knew
Was that I am a monster
That can't be controlled.

What you never knew
Was how I torture myself
Trying to be good enough to be a daughter worthy of you.

When push comes to shove
You will know that you deserve what comes next.

When push comes to shove
You will know what you did to me was wrong.

When push comes to shove
You will remember all the pain you caused.

And when push comes to shove
You will know that you won't survive.

All because of what you did.

When this poem ends and is posted,
I will be gone.
When you feel my absence
Listen to the wind and hear my laughter.
Look up at the stars and know that I am happy.
When you feel the sun on your back know that I am there.
When you feel peaceful know that I am watching you.
When you feel like flying know that I am lending you wings.
Listen and you will hear my voice.
Look around and you will see me in everyday objects.

I will never truly leave.
So when you feel my absence
Listen
Look
And feel.

Where's the fairness in life now?
I loved you,
But you never loved me.
I needed you,
But you said "*******."

Why do you insist on saving me?
Can't you see that I can't be saved?

Why do you invade my thoughts?
I keep trying to push you out of my mind, but I can't.

Why can't you leave me alone?
I don't want to hurt you.

Why can't you just hate me like everyone else?
It would be easy to.

I am a poet because
I have seen many things.

I am a poet because
My voice has been silenced.

I am a poet because
Poetry is my voice.

I am a poet because
I am screaming, if only you would listen.

As I sit here,
The words pour out.
Shining, shimmering.
Decorating the page with beautifully painful words.
A deep, scarlet red.
The words soak into the page,
Leaving their imprint on the readers.
Letting the readers soak up the emotions off of the page.
The pain,
The happiness,
The joy,
The amazement.
The words are pouring out of me
And I hope that they can help someone.

You.
Oh, how I despise that word.
Because of what you did to me.

You poisoned me a thousand times.
All without me knowing.
Because I was in love with you.

You made me blind
From the rest of the world.
Because you played me for a fool.

You are a monster.

There was once I time I cherished being with you,
But then I realized what you really are.

You are a monster.

I'm waiting for the day you finally say why you put up with me
And **** me.

You are a monster.

I know that now,
But I still can't escape.

You said that she was too fat,
But you didn't know that she was starving herself.

You said that she had too many scars,
But you didn't know that she cut herself so maybe, just maybe, she could feel alive.

You told her to die,
But you didn't know that she would actually try to die.

You told me that I would never survive,
But survival is my middle name.

You told me that I was weak,
But I'm still here.

You told me that I was too broken to be fixed,
But I have someone who is fixing me.

You told me that I could never be loved,
But I have someone who loves me.

You told me that I could never love,
But I have someone that I love so much.

You told me that I don't have feelings,
But I have more than you.

Zora,
Zoe,
Zoey,
Zoe Zoe.
So many nicknames,
But no matter what you were called,
You were still one of the greatest dogs I ever owned.
When my grandparents called today to tell me that you were gone,
My heart shattered.
You were with me ever since I was little.
You protected me.
You played with me.
You helped me through hard times in my life.
Now you are gone,
And yes, some people will say "she's just a dog, get over it and stop crying,"
But you were my best friend.
I can't replace you
And I feel like I can't live without you,
But I know that somehow I will manage.
It will be hard,
But I know that your spirit is still with me.
Zora,
I'm sorry I couldn't be by your side when you died.
I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye face to face.
I knew your time was ending,
But it didn't stop my heart from breaking.
Yes, I know,
You're just a dog.
But to me, you are more than a dog.
You are my childhood playmate.
You are my best dog friend.
You are my rock.
Although I guess I should say was,
But you still are my best dog friend.
You always will be even though you are gone.
I love you, Zora.
I always will.