Your eyes are the colour of the starry night sky; I close my eyes watching the
Fireworks of phosphenes
And in my vision I see your cold blue stare: warm, friendly, loving.
Too warm, too friendly, too loving.
My hands reached forth meeting a blistering nothing.
Our palms are two halves meant to be one, fingers intertwined and locked
Yet locked is your heart to which a key I have not.

My heart raced while watching you from afar
A spark ignited and soared into the black sky.
Exploding, it lit up the dark night and showered me with your warmth and fire
One I enveloped and was blinded by; I could not see the light
Fade into the stark starless nothingness
Instead, all I saw was you (and the life I wanted with you)

Countless, fruitless attempts of baring my soul to you made me question
Perhaps Cupid misfired, made me askew, and still I yearn for you.
I am afraid, you know. Yet, a sliver of light slipped between the crack of the closet door
Do I grasp it or do I leave the light be?
(laughs) Forgive me. To be or not to be, wasn't the crux, was it?

Staring at you from across the room, I've come to realize
Hard truths never fail to fall even the strongest—you only have eyes for Others
Cause after all, norms are meant to be adhered to
And the sky is never always a clear blue. Fireworks don't last forever,
Do they?
In the darkness I stand watching them fade. I clutch at my heart, fire ablaze. It shall stay ablaze

For all eternity.

I talk to you in metaphors, and you wonder what’s wrong with me.
You wonder how the transition has been so rapid.
I tell you,
“Storms, humans. Humans, storms.
They‘re both synonymous.”
You stare at me, clueless, not getting the inside vibe or the feeling.
But you try.
Standing right 7 inches away, I see your helpless soul trying to unfurl and entangle all it senses again and again,
I see you try to figure out what I mean.
But I fail you, each time.
Because, I can’t let you know what any metaphor I verbalise, could ever mean.
“I meant nothing, stupid”
I laugh and tell you.
You stare right into my eyes. You’re not smiling. But you are.
You’re not grieving. But you are.
I stare right back at you, agreeing to what your eyes are saying.
“We’ve lost each other.” I hear this heavy bang onto my head,
And then,
I feel it.
I feel the word ***** arising.
I feel the thousand heavy words ever felt unsaid, violently trying to break out.
The stacked memories make me twitch, hard and brutal.
The incessant craving to hold you back and make you stay, this time at least, takes over.
Eye lids start to feel heavy and gradually, drop as I’m filled with remorse and frailty.
My hands tremble along with my feet, and descend, busted.
And I realise, that despite all the hundred times I’ve tried to convince myself that you would no longer matter, I still ache for you.
And suddenly, my entire being feels tired, once and all over again.

I'm done
The words not there
The well is dry
What to do
What to do

Do all know,
the agony of,
the parched soul,
of the time,
of never raining

Where does,
the rain abide,
released by storms,
deluges bringing,
undesired by many

Hope for rain,
dance for rain,
leaping into clouds,
ascending, grasping,
for the rain

Please Lord,
Send a gentle rain,
water for the flowers,
of the soul
Pray for rain
Pray for rain

© 2017 Jim Davis

The winter sand that still remains
Along the walks and streets
Makes a sweet, seductive sound
Underneath my feet,
Like a lover clears her throat,
When about to speak...