alexa

alexa Dec 2018

one day i’ll grow up
and i’ll become the girl
who falls in love with a boy
and makes him her world;

i’ll go through my life
with a hand by my side
love in my heart
and a man on my mind-

a man like my father
honest and true
picks me up when i’m sad
paints me pink when i’m blue.

one day i’ll grow up
and find a love of my own
start a life together and a family
buy ourselves a home.

i’ll go through my life
with an eternal kiss on my lips
through the pain and the fights
any stumbles or hardships.

i’ll be a woman like my mother
a warrior of her own
strength exuding through every breath-
with him, and alone.
-a.c.b

poem in praise of my parents. thank you both for teaching me everything i know about love.

alexa Dec 2018

for you

for you,
anything.

i feel the pain scraping at the inside of your organs;
i will heal you with my words,
bloom poems from your shattered bones.
i will plant gardens within the fertile depths
of your beautiful mind, a little dusty
a little *****
but
flowers make everything better, is what you told me
so i will pick you flowers from every bush i find
until my hands are rubbed raw from the coarse vines,
until my fingers are bleeding
from all those unassuming thorns, i will shower you
in the love you've never felt, with the love i always feel
but sometimes forget to share with you.
i will paint you with my words
until you can only see the true beauty you radiate,
until you can only see the poetry running through your veins.

for you,
everything.
-a.c.b

Nov 2018

lovelywildflower

dear universe,

don't you ******* DARE mess this up for me, you hear? don't you ******* DARE.

#universe

Nov 2018

lovelywildflower

please read this; please don't go

if i lost you
i would hurt myself
and that's not just words coming out of my mouth
it's a fact
it's the truth
because there is no me without you
you without me
we are inseparable
soulmates
we are meant to be
and i know you'll never leave
and i'm content knowing that
but there's a lot of people who would try to separate us
and that's what i'm afraid of
of losing you because of them
because no one here wants to see me happy
their only intent is hurting me
no one cares about me here
that's a fact
it's the truth
if they did, why would they leave me so blue?
if they just knew how i felt about you
then maybe they would understand
but no one here wants to listen to my words
they just hear what they need to say instead
i would hurt myself
it's true
because i couldn't survive without you
i don't want to
i would try jumping off buildings
reminding myself of the feeling of falling
i would try splitting open my veins
to try to see that my blood's still running
circulating for you
i would try swallowing pills
to fill the hole inside me
to try to feel something else
than the agonizing pain of being without you
i would try holding handguns to my heart
wondering if i have that courage to keep waiting
wondering if i have the courage not to do something stupid
i would try drowning in water
to remind myself of the way my chest burst with love
i would try tying ropes around my neck
to remind myself of the way that we are tied together
i would hurt myself to remind me of you
i cannot survive without you
and we all know it's a well-known fact
that i destroy myself when i'm hurt
i don't eat
i don't sleep
i don't do anything that's good for me
because what's the point if i already can't breathe?

#please #hurt #pain #love #you

alexa Nov 2018

lottery

and then he looked at me
and said,
“you make me feel like i could win the lottery
with a parking ticket.”
-a.c.b

alexa Nov 2018

my little corner of the world...

isn't great for much,
but we get the best sunsets.
no, it's not the caribbean
certainly not santorini
or venice
or the aurora borealis in alaska
but we get by,
with pink cotton candy clouds, edges pinched and dragged
across the inky sky,
edges twirled up like feathers on a dove,
the sky behind dissolving into
shades of indigo and cerulean,
fuchsia and mango,
sunshine and cobalt.
no, they're not life-changing
but they're beautiful to me
yes, we get by
in my little corner of the world.
-a.c.b

where my jersey peeps at

alexa Nov 2018

a response

baby the shears are not mine to use;
i don't care who inevitably severs our ties
but i will flinch, i will quiver
you will see me alone in the hallways as a wilted flower,
frozen in place like the first freeze of November,
you will see the grey memories left over in my eyes--
the sound of the barking dog
and the lyrics to my favorite song
and the words my poetry shouts,
the ones i am too afraid to whisper.
my lips are red raw,
tongue bleeding the love i feel too much of--
it was my everything
i gave you my everything...
you are my everything.
and what you had left is what i had left,
was always more than enough for me
you are still more than enough for me
i'm just sorry
your little sad girl
didn't have anything left to give.
-a.c.b