if you have scars on your body, stretch marks on your sides,
i will make sure you know that i love you for them.
because, they are a part of you, and anything that has anything to do
with you infatuates me.

your freckles make you so much better. don't hate yourself for them.
dont think that just because i don't have them means that i don't want them. they've always interested me, so they just make me more interested in you.

every single part of you infatuates me, interests me, makes me fall even more in love with you.

even your imperfections.

why, hello there. nice to see you. and welcome to, our society is a ****** up place that needs be changed.

people think that its perfectly okay to fat shame, **** shame, skinny shame, and anything in-between. but once it happens to them its world war three. guess what, if you dont want something done to you. dont do it. hypocrites and shamers of people are whats wrong with todays society.

people who think that all cops are bad. yes, ill give it to you, most cops now-a-days are *****. but not all of them. some of them actually follow the rules that they're provided with. people who aren't openminded with things is what's wrong with todays society.

people who think that just because someone didnt go to college or finish high school etc. are stupid or are a disgrace. honey, the only person who's a disgrace is you. it is none of your business what happens in peoples lives. people who **** in and think that their negative opinions matter is what's wrong with todays society.

people who think that people who are in the LGTBQ+ community or support it are unworthy or dont deserve respect or anything like that. honey, as i said before, its none of your business. let people be who they want, let them express themselves, let people love each other no matter the gender! people who are unaccepting is whats wrong with todays society.

people in general are whats wrong with todays society. and we, people who accept everyone and anyone need to speak up. voice your opinions. important ones matter. because we, the people matter. no matter if you're black, white, hispanic, gay, straight, bi, lesbian, trans, queer, pansexual, heterosexual, agender, etc. you matter! and we're here to make it known, that everyone matters.

if i fall in love with you,, your name will forever be embroidered in my mind like that time when you had your first kiss. with someone who wasn't me.

if i fall in love with you,, i will constantly feel the heat rising to my cheeks when i'm not even remotely close to you,, but when you glance in my direction. probably not even looking at me. like when its hot outside and you can feel your whole body getting warm.

if i fall in love with you,, you should feel like you won a prize. no,, a gold medal. because my ******* trust issues barely ever let me trust people meanwhile fall in love with them.

if i fall in love with you,, you should feel like you got the last pretzel at the pretzel stand. because i am someone who doesn't date. who doesn't fall in love. who doesn't like people.

if you fall in love with me,, i won't believe you. because my insecurities come into play. my trust issues come into play. i have so many ******* problems that i'll think that once you see behind the mask i put on,, on. a day to day basis you'll leave me. and i dont need to be left again.

if you fall in love with me. if i fall in love with you. do not use me. do not leave me with no reason behind it. please dont get offended by what i say,, 99.9 percent chance im kidding when i say it.

if you fall in love with me. if i fall i love with you. be loyal. be honest,, even if it hurts. be kind. show sympathy. be a nice person. deal with my sarcasm and bitchiness.  deal with me.

jaiden ( jack in my other poem ) ~ you joked about suicide/ depression/ mental illnesses. little did you know i suffer from all of them.

my ***** donor ( dad ) ~ you were to blind to see that you were doing the wrong thing and hurting people while doing so. you're currently in jail,, *******.

my aunt ~ your head is shoved to far up your own *** to understand that not everyone likes you and wants to hear what you have to say.

a few old friends ( eva ) ~ we just distanced ourselves from eachother,, nothing more nothing less.

( janell ) ~ you're the average popular girl that you'd see in movies. i dont surround myself with ***** who talk behind their friends backs. i cut you out of my life.

before i publish this for the world to see lemme say that 2017 was one of the best but worst years of my life.

on the good side,, i finally got the name "doormat" off of my forehead. shared so many laughs and made friends that i hope i keep forever.

on the bad side,, my depression and anxiety. my depression in itself was at the point where i honest to god didn't think i would make it. my anxiety was and still is so bad where im scared to leave home and actually communicate with people out of my friend group.

all in all,, 2017 was one of the biggest pain in the ***** yet. lets make the future better than the present.

my fathers back, and i know what ur thinking,"shouldn't you be excited?" and the answer to that would be yes, if he didn't hurt me. if he didn't constantly leave me for people to mistreat me for things that eat me up inside.

he should probably know that by now, and i think he does but just let's it happen instead of letting it happen for now.

now you're probably like why are you saying,"now?" well the answer to that will be, because him and his problems and his issues will not stop me and will not drag me down. not now not ever.

My biological "father" is currently in jail. I cut him out of my life.

My mother raised me. I'm glad she's in my life.

My grandfather who I call my father raised me but died when I was 5. I'm angry he's not in my life.


What I'm saying here is that I lost my "father" to drugs and alcohol. But I lost my father due to cancer.