I knew it was coming
Like the evening train.
A few minutes early
Or a few minutes late.
I’m adjusting now
For the journey home.
A little older and a little wiser
It’s a good time
To clear the senses
And face the truth
In the mirror.
I loved her in my way
She didn’t deserve my love
I’m sorry to say
I wanted so much
For her to deserve it
And want it even
But she wouldn’t go that far
Unrequited love is a heartbreak
Unwanted love is a tragedy.
I can’t accept a tragedy
It’s a big word, and heavy
Let’s just say a misunderstanding
Two hearts that passed in the night
Not hearing, not touching
But the scent of her still lingers
My clothes reek of her
But her clothes smell of the spring day
Untouched unsullied
My tears left no stain upon her soul.

I swallow the first signs of spring
With my morning juice
The birds are awake,
I can’t shake winter’s noose.

While this body moves slow
The seasons change fast
I spread the marmalade
And dwell on summers past

Crumbs are sprinkled like snowflakes
Memories appear so palpable
The breakfast stains are set
I ponder, am I culpable?

I’m social by nature
But take my meals alone
I raise my glass and toast
Dreams for which I can’t atone

Every meal we shared
Is on the tip of my tongue
The songs that she loved
Will never be sung

The solace I seek
I try to pry from her fist
All the windows are open
The stale odors persist

I’ve cleared the table
But I have a hunch
Whatever I’m serving
She’ll be here for lunch.

Her beauty is a river,
Slowly flowing at my feet.
Winding through a young forest
Almost motionless
The current waves to the admiring
Aspen leaves.
Small boats with magnetic joy
Cling to the rippling surface,
Travel briefly downstream
Get mired in the sand.
Reflections sparkle,
tickle my fantasy
I watch my toes in the cool water

Her passion is a river,
Churning swiftly with abandon.
Cutting its own path
Following the forces of nature.
Listen, she speaks clearly:
Admire the power
But the fury will not be harnessed.
I tremble as the raging current
Creates a windstorm in its wake.

I sit here, surrounded
By the confluence of these mighty rivers.
The waters co-mingle
I am enveloped in the rising mist
My eyes are shut
Reason is abandoned
As I submerge in the torrent
My soul to be delivered
Downstream
As nature dictates.

It was a glass of liquid sunshine
If I were to believe the waiter
My senses would be flooded
With essence of vanilla and
Glimpses of the land.
There would notes of citrus,
Faint odor of old leather
And deep berries would overwhelm.
If I shut my eyes
I could relish the peppery finish
And the buttery after taste.
I would be a fool to overlook
The healthy dose of tannin
Balancing the sweet cherry, plum and cassis.
The wine swirled in my glass
The fragrant bouquet filled my nose
I’d be lying if I said
The anticipation didn’t create
A certain aura of arousal.
Not just the sunshine in this glass
But all four seasons inhabited
My crystal goblet,
And the sheltering moonlight
Was in there too.
This wine surely has character
Like Gandhi or Churchill perhaps.
And legs. What legs.
Slender and vibrating
Long and glistening
I could stare at those legs
Until dessert.
Having passed the cork test,
All eyes were upon me
Lifting the bowl of undulating liquid
To my lips.
I sipped.

There was no music in my life
So I invented a violin.
It sat on my table and I watched;
My hand slid across the smooth wood,
It gave me not a sound.
I shut my eyes;
In my head I listened for a note
But it refused to share.
The precision of form,
Perfection of line
This instrument taunted me
And left me deaf with my dreams.
I recalled how I had been caressed
By it’s sweetness on many a lonely night--
Surrounding the silence with silky tones.
I am left with the dying embers
And haunted by its cold closeness.

On a late night flight
Between heaven and home
The turbulence makes her think
How she’s been forced to roam.

Struggling with pleasure and pain
Love, loss and yearning
Stumbling through the smoke
Of the bridges she is burning

She just wanted the world
Was that too much to ask?
But she traded that dream
For the happy family mask.

But dreams are fragile
And so easily dashed,
Dangling in the downdraft
They finally crashed.

Lost on the endless plain
The blowing wheat can beguile,
Shifting with the wind
It confounds her personal exile.

Her love lies fallow
The growing season will expire,
Empty fields call her name,
As she follows her desire.

A dangerous bargain she has made,
Requiring all her talents,
Riding without reins,
She keeps that delicate balance.

Love is a principle
Not an emotion,
Feelings are too flighty
On which to base your devotion.
Love flutters
She’s a butterfly to catch your attention
With net in hand,
She defies comprehension.
Labels are helpful
But they never stick
Try reading her palm,
But it’s only a trick.
So I live in limbo
Confused and never knowing
I see her there,
Is she coming or going?
If I stop thinking
It all feels right
I’ll let myself go
And melt in her light.