I fell asleep but couldn't dream
so I walked through the mist
and echo of a black blanket
under a starless night
I came across a nightmare
crying under a leafless tree
naked and exposed with
soft skin and milky breast
Her lips were the color of poison
but her voice carried
no trace of a lie
As she said all she had wanted
was to kiss the moom
under a dark magenta sky
She promised me she could lead me back to dreams
If I would just take her hand
and let her walk with me
So our fingers entwined
and we walked miles
of soft footsteps
and shy glances
She would giggle and blush
from time to time
It had begun to feel
as if she had lost her way
and our journey would never end
When she suddenly stopped
and motioned she had
something to whisper in my ear
I leaned in close and she laughed lightly and said
"Your clothes fell off sometime ago... we are both naked now, so this must be your dream... before you go may I ask of you one more thing?"
She stopped whispering and
moved her mouth in front of mine and said the last part with
her eyes...
I didn't know it then
but that would be
my last first kiss
and now I am the moon
hanging dreamless
in a dark magenta sky

Dreamless sleep of eternity
Sleepless tears of love
Bloodless heart keeps beating
Boneless ghost keeps haunting
Forever's end repeating...

Live a life without fear of death
  Love so freely
               so wildly
That when it is time to write
    you're final page
That death will pause and tremble
          to read your
            last words
Then with your last breath
  embrace death
And fill its lungs
with a life well lived
And pass through this life
  and illusion
Towards the next dream
of love and immortality
                            For if in the end
                            All we find is the end
                                Dream the dream
                                  that never ends
                                    Dream of life and
                                      death and
                                        death and love
                                           and love and
                                        Life and dream
                                          without fear

Her heart was made of the dream of humming birds
Her belly held the promise of laughter
Her eyes were the stars above heavens cloud
Her skin was the soft white of porcelain
Her hair was made of threads of translucent silk and black fire
Her lips held the secret kiss of beauty
Her breath was the warmth of life
She walked the earth and glided through the fabric of dreams
To see her smile
Was only the first step
Over the edge
As one found themselves
Falling through an infinite night
Through the endless depths
Of an ocean of love

Even though we have to say goodbye Before we ever
  have the chance to say hello
I hope you can forgive and believe that I wish it wasn't
  going to be this way
And even Though I dig a grave within my heart
My eyes will shower this place with endless tears
My blood as it passes by will drop off rose after rose
  with ever heart beat
Know that I will always love what you might have been
  even though I will never know the color of your eyes
  or the warmth of your smile or the sweet sound
  of your laughter or the sadness of your tears or the
  joy of holding you in my arms
I will build a playground by your early grave where you
  can stop by to laugh and play and visit anytime I dream
And though I don't know the rules of life and death, I will pray
  to every god and spirits name that I know that perhaps when
  the day and night is right you can come back and help
  unbuild this early tomb and then once again grow in
  a mothers womb

A dance lost in translation
A love never revealed
A star never wished upon
  still falls from the sky
A soul unborn haunted his heart
  and grew inside his dreams
A hand never held reflected
  behind his closed eyes
A laugh never heard passed through
  his skin in the gentlest breeze
A tear never tended to
Multiplied into the ghost of an
  unending rain
A dance lost in translation was
Translated as nothing at all

My words failed me the night I could have saved your life
And my silence only strengthened her choice
Then the fetus in her womb became the child to haunt me as I sleep
And I dreamed of tears I would never wipe away
And I dreamed of the laughter I would never dance to hear
And I can only watch you grow on the nights I weep while sleeping

what is she but a hope or a wish
a dream or a penny full of bad luck
a butterfly wing or a switchblade knife
placed with precision between two ribs
delirium and delusion as bride and groom
but not girl and boy
just bones and bones
husband and wife
without any parts to tell who's who
just a spark and a flash
of lives lived and loved
loves loved and died
death dreamt and slept
dreams slept and cried
tears flooded and drowned
flowers drenched
whiskey drank
porcelain chipped and cracked
last kiss of the first
death of reason
birth of madness
suffering murdered
pain given black wings
a heart stiched with the vane of a lost feather
once used by a god to write a letter and draw a map
while spending a life wandering a road under the shade of a tree
or was she sitting beneath the mist of a wave waiting for a bus to stop somewhere between eternity and oceans end
she was so long ago and sometime soon
that I can only hope and wish
that she will be the dreams of a penny that is all out of luck
just sleeping in the sun
waiting to be loved

I wake up in a dream where I'm dreaming
  you're by my side
I hold your hand and pull you close
I can feel your heart beating against mine
I brush your hair from your neck and start
  to whisper in your ear "I lo..."
And then the dream is broken as you  
  dissappear.
I roll over to see your ghost walking out of
  my room
I try to call it back by finishing the words
  I had almost said
But no sound escapes my mouth except
  an echo of the dead
I feel my blood racing with my dreams
  courage turning cold
I hear a bird singing and beating its wings
  against my ribs
Shh little bird
If I could I would set you free
I know you're too beautiful for me
I close my eyes again and try to dream
  within a dream
But the words I never finished speaking
  haunt my empty room
And I find myself unable to even write
  them out
The words keep repeating
The bird keeps signing
But my doubts keep drowning their
  beauty out

He dreamt of mice
and he dreamt of gods
and he dreamt of mice
that were gods
and gods that feared mice
and he dreamt of secrets
that he could not tell
and of memories
that were not his
and he dreamt of days
that wished they could see nights
and nights that ignored mornings
and he dreamt
that the planets were fish
and that the ocean
was let loose to swim in the sky
and through the emptiness of space
and that man was never made
of flesh or bone
and that men where children of mice
mice that knew too many secrets
and they would not share
any of those secrets with man
but they would share
their milk and their cookies
and tell men how to avoid cats
when cats dream
because when cats dream
they become bigger than mice
and become more loved than gods
and in their purring
is the death song
of the kingdom of mice
and without mice
and their kingdom safe
that man would be lost children
that looked like worms
to the planets that swam like fish
in the ocean that floated
in the emptiness of space
and then he woke
and did not remember
what he had dreamt
and scurried across the floor
and ate some cookies
and scanned the darkness
for any cats that might
dare to sleep
and in sleeping dream
and dream the beginning
of the end of everything

With your pictute
Before my eyes
I did fall asleep
And in sleeping
I did dream
I dreamt you
Where here
And I
Was there
We fell into
Each others arms
It felt so real
I felt your warmth
Your voice
Your lips
Sweet scents
Filled the air
My fingers
Passing
Through your
Alluring hair
We laughed
And talked
And cried
And loved
And it seemed
To last many
A night
And days
And then
I turned
And my heart
Ached to wake
And lying still
In empty bed
I wept
And wept
Tears of joy
Pouring out
Of me
To have
Dreamt a dream
As beautiful
As you

In all my lonely rage
  I dreamed myslf alive
But I was still alone
So I dreamed a thousand dreams
  And they dreamed a thousand more
And their dreams gave birth to death
And death gave birth to life
And life gave birth to love
And love gave birth to blood
And blood gave birth to war
And war gave birth to man
And man was the first disease
  We ever found in dreams
So the dreams and I went back to sleep
  And we slept a thousand years
  And we will sleep withou a single dream
  Until this disease has died away
And we have learned to never
  Dream of man
    And mans
      Terrible ways

They lay in bed breathing easy breaths of exhaustion with their fingers locking their palms in a gently kiss, his eyes starting deeply into the universe of colors in hers and softly he spoke, “I feel that I have loved you longer than I have known life, longer than I have been... I can’t remember a day or time that my heart did not know or sing your name, I can’t recall a memory that you are not a part of... as if I have loved you from within my mothers womb all the way to this very moment...it’s as if we never meet... as if somehow we just always were.  Tell me, is it true... have you always been here, here in my heart... from it’s very first beat?”, he asked as he moved their hands over the middle of his chest where his heart sang below.  “Or are you just a dream... or am I?  Is any of this real?”
“I am not just a dream... I am Dream, I am all dreams... I am the dream of all the stars wishing to be made of flesh and I am the dream of every child wishing they could fly.  I am the dream of every god wishing they were never given names.  I am the dream of the salt and the blood swimming in the sea and I am the dream of every grain of sand and every leaf floating on the wind... and it is all real, as real as you and I, every dream every whispered, every dream sown into every wish... and you... you are more than just a dream... you are my first love and my last love, always, you are the time in every moment of every breath of everything I do... I can not exist or live without you and you do not live without my dream of loving you... and Life is our child, all life, and we give life dreams and love and time and let it run wild and free.  We are tied to each other in mystery and magic and knowing of things that can’t be known or spoken... We exist for an eternity together and then in a moment we are gone and we sleep and we rest and all goes quite and not a thing is dreamt and time does not move or exist while we sleep...”
“And what of our love while we sleep?”
“It watches over us and keeps us safe.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
“Do we come back... do we wake up again... will we remember?”
“Yes and no and yes... you will be Time and I will be Dream again... in the time ahead, and we will live and love and dream and give life to dreams and dreams to life and time and love to both... it will all be different and it will all feel the same and this will and will not be true but it will never be a lie... a new story for a new Dream and a new Time, as there is always a time before now and a time ahead of now... but for now we will rest and sleep and love will keep us safe.”
He went to speak again and she gently pushed a finger to his lips and without making a sound Dream said, “shhhhhh... sleep, sleep Time, sleep...”
And Dream and Time slept and the time of now was gone and love sighed and sat and watched and yawned knowing what could not be known or spoken and smiled to know that the circle would come round again and Life would be born from Dream and Time and love would be there waiting to be given and shared and lost and found and broken and healed and it would laugh when it could and it would cry when it needed and no matter what, it would always be there as a part of Life and Time and Dream.

A new year a blank page pretty blue lines in a moleskin notebook or off white in a spiral bound sketchpad paint brushes that thirst for color paint waiting to be poured ink wanting to bleed pens desperate to carve into pulp feet eager to dance music in the silence of the air dreams to scatter and create and time burning to be spent and life is too short no matter how long we live  and every story starts with but a single word and every word with but a single letter and ever journey a single step so why not sing and dance and write and paint along the way and use your days and nights to live well and to love well and to dream well

Come with me and dream
   of kisses
    that never
     cease
Come with me and love
  with hearts
   that never
     break
Come with me and carve
  our names on
   every passing
    star
Come and
  drift away
   with me
      on a
    forever
   that never
     ends

I went out looking for a drink
And a strange bed
To lose myself esteem
And rage
While commiting carnal sins
Between the legs
Of a pretty face
Painted over an empty skull
I went out searching
For the beast inside my marrow
Walking among the late night
Demons of decadence
Dancing to poisonous
Acts pretending to be love
But only wanting the salt
And skin of lust
I went out seeking to ******
My hearts truth and blood
To drown it within its own depth
Suffocate it on its own breath
To grind it down to nothing
But shame and guilt
And leave nothing but the stained
Bones of my hips exposed
I was drunk by noon
And couldn't pronunce her name
Or remember her face
I couldn't see her skull
But I could feel her tounge
Wrapped tightly between my legs
Her venom stiffening my flesh
Her throat coaxing the life
Out of my bones
And ******* the death
From my soul
I couldn't tell if
I was moaning
Or weeping
And she wasn't grinding the hours
In an effort to comfort or care
And she was more monster
Than human
Angel soft silk
Hiding devilish scents
And I gave myself to her roots
And her pain and her flower
And her evil
And her pleasure
Wanting to have my
Memory devoured
Trying to forget
Why I wanted
A drink
Poured by a pretty face
Into an empty skull
Full of poison
Mixed with murderous intent
To be forced
Down the throat
Of the dreams
Of my truth
To **** my blood
And my hope
But my heart
Would not
Drink
Would not let
This lie of poison flow
It pulsed against my rage
And my doubts
It beat madly
Wildly
For the fire
And flame
For the stars
Found in heaven
That sing
Only your name

I never imagined myself with one of the incurable disease...Things like cancer always happen to some other poor soul.   And we all sit and talk and pretend to care... "Oh... How horrible... What did the doctor say... How long... Just so sad...poor, poor, thing".  "Thing"... like now that they're dying they are somehow less human, not worth anything but petty small talk to inflate our own self worth and ego.  That's what most of us do, living, if you can call what we do living, with blinders strapped tight to our heads so we can ignore as much of each other as possible.  Interacting only to satisfy our base carnal desires... stripping each others clothes, dignity, souls... stripping everything from one another but leaving the blinders on.   No one wants to watch the ugly act we've turned making love into.  It's not even ****... just empty bodies grinding in filth stained beds for cheap ******* trying to fill the painful moments before we fall asleep.  
And we have the nerve to call the lucky ******s dying, "Things".  Everyone can look in the mirror but no one is willing to see their actual reflection.  
What abunch of chumps.
Today, I became a "Thing"... No I didn't go to the doctor... I woke up and just knew.  I felt it crawl up from the depth of my very being and could see my reflection before I even made it to the bathroom mirror.   ****,... it hurt, hurt bad... the kind of hurt you know, just know, is gonna stick there with you to the bitter end.  It came on quick, it came out of nowhere... A little thumbnail size scratch right under my hearts skin.  It happened maybe a week ago,  I couldn't tell you exactly when or even how it happened.  It became infected before I could stop it, although looking back..  at my life before... why would I.  Dying like this... I never would have dared dream to be so lucky... Good god it felt good.  It even made my **** hard, it made it seep without even being touched, a ******* without the shame or guilt or lust... I woke up today and knew,  just knew, I was dying of love.  Dying for love.  Dying just to love her with my last breath... did she love me?  Would she?  Could she?  It didn't matter... I was going to die loving her either way, scrapping and stealing as much pain from her heart as I could on my way out, dragging every monster and demon and devil I could find in her burdened and black soul with me as I marched toward death.  If there was every I more beautiful way to die I wouldn't want it.  No, this was my exit to Eden, the only way for me to die.  Dying here in her eternal hell... Yea, it hurt... but it hurt so bad that it just felt right, that it made sense.  I was going to die and that was the best news of my life... I laughed, a good hard laugh, the kind of laugh you hear echoing in the halls of a mad house, insane asylum, a loony-bin if you will.  God forgive me, all the hurt and pain... I needed it,  I needed to see and feel it all.  I needed to  bathe in it, wallow in it, and swallow it all.  It was sweet and glorious, sticky and hot, dark and bitter... so much beautiful pain... it felt incredible.  Still, I laughed tears as it hurt just to breathe.  I couldn't help but smile, I was dying and dying the best way possible, my Eden and last breath at the end of her fingers, the end of her ocean, the bottom of her fallen heart..  and I was happy just to be there.

Dying on this earth
Spinning farther apart
The dream of unity
Lost to the vote
Of bitterness and hate
Where to find the will
To go through another day
If I could only afford the luxury
And the tax
Of a smoldering fist
And a shotgun blast
Of the heroic exit
And the sinful kiss
Of a shameless suicide
And what will divide us next
What new excuse
To spread the gap
And drop another bomb
Of disappointment
And poison
And steel
As if killing
Our children in
Needless acts of
War
After war
Wasn't a fate cruel enough
Now the future
Withers in the fist
Of greed and politics
And what are we to do
To stop the bleeding
Fear and hate
Running wild
Round and round
This earth
Driving state
And country
And mankind
To bitter distance
And unneeded tears
Who can save us
When we have failed
To learn the wisdom
Of the answers
Bob left for us
Blowin' in the wind
And If Joe is up in heaven
Would anyone bother
To listen as he strummed
On his guitar
One more protest song
About the clashing
In the streets
Under the london fog
Tom described it too perfection
As he told how Luce came home
Broken
And left his arm in his coat
Back on a coat hanger
In the middle of a
Forgotten field of war
But did any of us hear
The horror of the truth
When...
When will we put
The differnce and divisions
To their past due graves
And dream and dance
And fight
For the unity
We desperately need
When...
When will we
Finally realize
Tomorrow is a day
Too late

Her kiss was full of poison and I died before my heart even had the chance to stop beating.  Before anyone could notice she breathed an artificial life back into my lungs and dragged me back home with her.  Neither one of us bothered to pretend we were making love, we just ripped off each others clothes , bit into each others skin and started ******* like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow.  As our flesh mixed and tangled together I almost felt alive again and then i caught a glimpse of my corpse in the reflection of her eyes.  Then I realized, she wasn't just ******* me, she was devouring me.  There wasn't going to be anything left of me by morning ... no muscle, no skin, no bones, no memory.  But I didn't care.  Dying underneath her, dying wrapped in her flesh was far better than living the lie my life had become.

People die so young now
Leaving their bodies to still walk around
Their hearts choking on dust instead of pumping blood
Their eyes faded of all color except for the grey of the day to day
Selling their souls for the comfortable numb
No pain in their cookie cutter homes
Debt in their banks and death in their marrow
No love, no kindness, all given into the masses of blindness
Painted smiles over rotting teeth
Happiness a ghost and a lie
Nothing more than a comercial on a broken dream
Marching in circles to keep the gears spinning around
War and Hate building machine after machine
Religion blaming the devil while ignoring its own festering heart
Evil wasnt forged by the fires of hell
But invented in the hearts of man
Ingraved on every bullet and bomb and false reason of war
Generals and Kings all part of the lie
Someone has to carry the burden
Of dreaming up new ways
For young people to die

Kiss this earth with me
for where you feet have walked
I have found that heaven is
where you stand upon the ground

She was made up of earth and poetry
a silk garden of flames
that bloomed flowers of soft lust
the sun had adorned her skin
with small kisses that stained her face
with stars shaped like freckles
and the moon wove its magic
from the colors of her eyes
she was goddess and muse and woman
and all the things that made life feel beautiful
her blood ran with the indigo rivers
along the mountains of eternities horizon
and she hypnotized with slow poison
from the drunken haze of midnight ***
and her velvet lips could mend the broken
and raise the dead with just a dream of a kiss
and she only had to show the skin of her neck
to make fools out of mortal men
who let prayers of sin seep from their hardened
and wanting desire to know who she was
under her jeans and shirts and nakedness
when she unfolded and dripped and moaned
and took and gave and offered and devoured
from light morning kisses and drowsy eyes
to bending over the kitchen sink
with just enough skin exposed
to plow and grunt through the day
and fall into frenzied sheets
of ***** deeds under the moon
and exposed secrets of lost pleasures
only known by those that have swallowed
the fires of sin and the blood of honey
and in the aftertaste she lingered
with a hint of her earth and poetry

Electric Jesus flash me those pearly
  whites
Show me who is worthless
Show me who to loathe
Show me who to ******
Electric Jesus plug me into your power
  strips and mechanized hips
Tell me what is wrong
Tell me what is right
Tell me what to love
Electric Jesus with your RGB sedation
  sweeping across the nation
Teach me all your sins
Teach me all your greed
Teach me all your hate
Electric Jesus preach our needs and keep
  us on our knees
More Money!  Praise Electric!
More Power!  Praise Electric!
More, More, More ELECTRIC!

Dead men have their grieving wives
and oceans have their graveyards
and all I have left is an empty sky
and time barking at my heels
and I wonder what happened
to the young man who once painted the night
with the stars from his dreams
as he slept upside down from the smile of the moon

I wonder if he’s dead

I wonder if I killed him

because he was better at imagining love
than I was at talking care of it
I wonder if I pushed him from a high cliff
and quickly retreated before his screams
became a flat thud of crushed bones

I wonder if I buried him under dirt and fear
under the obligations of failing to try
I wonder what could have been
if I had gone right instead of left
on one of those long cold nights
when the road was going nowhere

I look in the mirror
and nothing stares back at me
not even a ghost
just an empty world
inside an empty room
trapped inside empty eyes
that have lost their color

and I wonder if
he is still better at imagining love
than I am at taking care of it

I heard the song
Of a London bird
Last night
Outside my window pane
Softly she flew
Into a dream
And with her
Endless ocean eyes
And feathers
Painted red
She sang
Of love
And loathing
Bitter tears
Kind smiles
Longing
For fingertips
Touching
Sultry skin
That was
Too far
Apart
Too measure
But only
A dream away
Lost stories
Only found
In darkness
Love
Unnoticed
Unreturned
Unfelt
Undying
My heart
Grow heavy
As I listened
Sitting alone
Inside
Knowing
If I looked
Outside
She
Would not
Be there
All I could
Do was listen
And
Wish
That I had
Wings
That I might
Join her
In dreams
In darkness
In hope
In her songs
And nest

Every word
Every syllable
Every letter...
And I fall a little more
Falling faster
Falling deeper
Every sound
Every image
Every message
And my heart escapes me
Beating wildly
Flying madly
Every morning
Every day
Every evening
Always dreaming
Always smiling
Always falling
For everything
Of you

Only fools know what it means
To fall asleep in dreams
And awake on clouds of love
No mortal thought of doubt
Could drown these feelings out
Boys wishing to be men
Could never comprehend
That love is not the means
To an end
Not a prize to be won
Not a bird to be caged
Not something given
Only to expect some reward
They cannot give
Without taking more in turn
Never will they learn
That to love
Is to love without reward
For to give is the gift
That life has
Never hid
Or held onto
As its own
In abdunce we will find
In every leaf on every branch
Of every tree
Throughout the bark
The roots
The earth
That to give love freely
Is heaven beneath our feet
No vengeful god above
Would declare any act of love
Of crime or
Of sin or
Of hell
With demons may angels fly
With lust may flowers
Open petals and bloom
Never shall adoration die
When with grateful pulse
The heart overflows
To the never ending sound
Of the eternal beat
Of the universal
Cosmic gift
Of truth
Of happiness
From immortal blood
Of fools dreaming
Upon clouds
Giving their every
Breath to
Love