the things that come out of my mouth
the things that go through my head
and the things that come from the ink of this pen
may not always or perhaps ever be the same

The memory is a precious thing
   Of what truths it can bring?

I remember being young
And hating the waiting to be old
Remembering the grown ups
   And the stories they told
Of being young, wild and free
I don't think that was ever me
  I grew up fast with an alcoholic dad
Always scared of making him mad
   He was tall and strong
Couldn't ever be wrong
But you see...
The
       value
              of
                   this
                          memory....

     Is that it's simply a reminder
Because it's no longer true
    He worked really hard
And pulled himself through
He's still very tall and strong
      But admits when he is wrong
He truly loves and deeply cares
    See why I value this memory?
Why it means so much to me?
It proves the
                 truth
                         will
                                set
                                     you
                                            free..

The battle raged on inside my head
My heart was wounded and it bled

Tempestuous tides of full moon rise
Brings down all love's demise

To handle diamonded and golden dreams
I was hell bent to rip apart it's seams

I will away all love to yesterday
And kiss the past's hollow lips that stay

And what never was , will be no more
And what never was , will be no more

You are different from the rest.
I was warned of those who would break my heart but never of those who would steal it from the very cage which it was entrapped in
I never gave you a key, just visiting hours
That alone was enough for you to swing wide the door open and allow my heart to go free
You kidnapped my heart but the key to yours belonged to another
You gave my heart its freedom but free it cannot be for it now lies in the palm of your hand
They never tell you that you don't get choice of your liberator or if you get the joy of holding their heart too

I hope these words
Make you fall for me
Because I don't have much going for me
Maybe the way you heard,
How I speak your name.
Will affect the breaths you take.
And I'll find what I need to spark the flame.
Whisper to me how I can fix your heartache.

Have you ever loved someone so much?

Where every moment you spend without their arms wrapped around your waist is so incredibly painful, you think it’s slowly killing you?

Where you long every second for that certain trio of words to be sent your way, on the lisps of the wind?

“I love you.”

And

“I miss you”

Were trios that I did not catch that afternoon. I’m sure you sent them, but not to me.

Instead, what did I get?

“You will never be half the person that she is.”

I read that, and instantly I wanted to cry. I felt defeated, crushed, broken down. Ashamed, upset, and alone.

You said you weren’t thinking, that it was an accident, that you didn’t mean it.
But if you sent it, you thought it.

And that’s enough for me.

You tried to take it back, and believe me I wish you had succeeded.

But you didn’t, and you left me for wanting.

Because when that was over, when you said the only ten words I never would have expected to come out of your mouth, I was done.

Done what?

I was done fighting.  Fighting off bad luck, insecurities, you name it.

All this time I was there for you. And this was not the only time you’ve come back to slap me in the face.

You never bothered to really see if I was okay. Never cared to look into my eyes and discover that I’m worse off than you are.

That day you watched me fall asleep… you said that I was peaceful.

I can assure you those are the only moments of peacefulness I get out of my day.

That day you said you needed me, I was there.
But the day I needed you, you had vanished into somebody else’s arms.

Not a care in the world, not a look back to see me far off in the distance, too numb from the pain to wave goodbye.

It’s me or someone else, you say. You say I don’t care about the other, which is wrong.

You say it’s stupid of you to assume things about me, which is funny because it’s something people constantly do.

I’m used to it, it happens often.

But I never thought the assumptions would come from you.

I miss you, I need you, and I love you.

So talk to me, please.

Because you’re a part of me that I need.