You were watercolor
A masterpiece soft and awe-inspired
Quite thrilling and beautiful as a mid November

I keep a ghost of you
Sealed inside of an old mason jar
At night I take you from your tucked away hiding spot
The best lullaby that I never got-
Was you in the late nights of December
When our breathes turned to frost

The night was a barrier between them and us
Until you became the toymaker and I your knickknack
But the final product couldn't live up to the blueprints
So you crumpled the papers
And threw out your knickknack so you could begin again from scratch

So I keep my manson jar-
A memory-
Perhaps a token of time
Before the canine complex I have come to know so very well

You promised you wouldn't leave
But you never left my life
You just forgot about me
Now I'm forced,
To see you everyday
Know you will never love me ever again
That you won't acknowledge my existed.

I'll just keep sitting here,
Admiring everything about you
Wanting you to come back to me
To just remember
The promise you made to me
That you will always love me.

There's just so many promises,
That spilled out of your mouth
Like they were nothing
Just something to say
To keep me happy
Keep me believing all your lies
And these so called promises
That were never true or to be kept.

Now I realize,
I'm done with all these broken promises.
I should've known
You never meant anything you said
So foolish to even trust you
Let you see the real me,
When I thought I knew
The real you.

So I'll just try my hardest,
To not love you anymore
Be so caught up in your smile
Then broken because I know,
It was not caused by me.
Though this will be tough
I'll keep tying.

I will get over this pain
Of you forgetting me.
I will not want you anymore
Because I can be happy
Without you loving me
And me hopelessly loving you,
I promise you this.

The world is my oyster
No its not
Ever oyster needs a shuck
Tell me where mine is?
Another pill
Another suppressant
No
No more pills
A sweet shot of adrenaline
The other me takes the wheel
My devil behind the wheel
My foot pressing the gas down
Another monster releasing
Bloodshot vision
Crimson craving beast

Cutting
Stabbing
Ripping
Tearing
Maiming
Beating
Twisting
Biting

My my just can't lie
Its the love of the chase that created this high
My my I need a shot again
Sweet adrenaline

Honestly have you seen someones eyes
so alive in vivid life
the fire is there
a soul burning in emotion.

Though some have lost their fire
into pain and sorrow they suffocate
no emotion to feed it
battle born to darkness.

My fire never died in this fight.
My fire exploded in ferocity.
My fire is life.
I will help light your fire.
I am a care taker and destroyer.
My fire is love and it heals or burns.

Hi this is Helen. I can’t get to the phone right now
because, well, I think I’ve finally found sleep!
So leave me your name, your message is important to me.
Just wait for the beep

…………

Hi, it’s Darcy…. Ummm I’m sorry I had to cut and run
but, you see, I’m nearly 16 and well Mum…
I’ve got to go there is a big bad world out there
to explore. Mum, I love you more

…………

Hi, baby girl, it’s your Daddy and I’m really sorry
that I have to tell you over the phone that I’m
not going to be here in six months, you know,
the cancer, well it’s grown but that’s enough
about me. What beautiful sights in the world today
did you see? I love you

…………

Hi Helen, I’m sorry I missed your birthday yesterday
And being your best friend and all I should have been
there, but well, you see, there’s this guy and he’s
super special and if I’m not around him I know I’ll
just die, what do you think of me with him, what
should I do?…. Oh, Happy Birthday, I love you

…………

Helen, this is God and I’m umm, really sorry I
haven’t been around much to make you smile
I haven’t been ignoring you but admit it… You
haven’t talked to me in a while… What I’m trying
to say is that if you just give in and take the bitter
pill I’m trying to make you swallow then we could
maybe start again. Hey! I’ll just ring you tomorrow

…………

Talk to the face!

Erase

i run
and i do not stop.
i run from everything
i am ashamed
of myself.
i have been knocked down
so many times
i become afraid
of heights
just from standing up
for myself.

and so i run.

hurtling around corners
and slamming into walls
my body breaking
and soon
i will have to stop.
stop this madness
stop the constant beat of my heart
pounding in my chest
trying to break out
like a prisoner in jail
for a life sentence.
i do not think anymore
i simply push myself
harder
farther
faster.

i started running
so long ago
i barely remember why.
i ran from people
people who hurt me
i couldn’t stop them
so i ran.
i ran from people
people who loved me
because i didn’t believe myself
deserving of their love.
i ran from the world
the world that shattered mine.
the world that took my heart
and dropped it onto the rocks
to be pounded into fragments
by the persistent waves
that plagued the cliffs.

they told me i could stop
wait up
catch my breath.
but what they don’t know is
every time i stop,
my past catches me
i curl into a ball
sobs rack my body
and life stabs me in the gut.
so i do not stop.

i am terrified
terrified of what memories slowing may bring
bubbling to the surface
crawling along the floor
crouching in dark corners
waiting to pounce.

perhaps one day
i will be able to stop running
someday,
a person might come along
who can grab my arms
sit me down
and tell me,
“stop. i love you.
you do not need to run.”

i run
and i do not stop.
but maybe,
that could change.

They told me be who you are
They told me you'll save the day
A photogenic superhero of the day
They told me I'd have a happy ending
They lied
I haven't gotten happiness
I've destroyed not saved
Photogenic desolation day in and out
They told me to be me
They didn't tell me I was wrong

I guess I'm the villain
They say only the heroes get happy endings
So I'm a villain than
The question used to be why can't i be good
Now, now its who can I drag down with me
Who wants to be a villain

As long as I'm a villain I'll be happily dragging the world down
I guess I'm the villain now
No  I  am  the  **villain

They placed my love inside Pandora’s Box.
The box they placed atop a golden plinth.
The plinth inside an empty room was locked.
The room was hidden in a labyrinth.
They built a palace on a desert dune
And sunk it underneath the ocean spray.
The truth behind the myth forgotten soon:
Atlantis: built to hide my love away.
Encased the myth inside a grain of sand
And left upon a lost pacific beach.
I feel the sapphire water in my hand
And dream about my love, far out of reach.
Awakening, my lonely body lies.
Brush the sand out of my weary eyes.