The memories creep up on me, latching in like vines into the rough weathered walls of brick
growing thick
a tangled mess I seem to find myself all to often caught within
these fingers still remember your skin
how they ache and tremble
feels as if my hands break and re-assemble
into the very shape and mold
I used when I would hold
your hands
The memories creep up on me, tainting my dreams with false hopes of a prosperous tomorrow
I would beg, steal or borrow
the memories of another to wash my mind's sheets clean of the stains you left haunting
I'd wipe it all clear move forward never wanting
the smooth feel of your lips upon my own
The memories creep up on me, every time that I'm alone...

if i wanted to have a sweet face
i would paint one
on.

but i want a face like a wolf.

so i slant my eyes with coal
and redden my lips
with blood.

I'd move heaven and earth
Every ounce of paradise and dirt
Every seraphim and cherubim, every hinge off the pearly gates
Force the seas to dissipate
Cast my soul to the prevailing winds, let them carry it to your feet
Take my heart incomplete
Placing the pieces of your heart's puzzle we can't seem to find
Into the proper portions completing mine
I'd move it all, because words fall short and soft on ears beckoning action
I'd paint a masterpiece of my compassion
Using the early evening sky for my canvas blank and waiting
Dip my brush into the sun's beam radiating
Coat the clouds with hues of orange, pink and blue
I'd move heaven and earth
Every ounce of paradise and dirt
To show my love to you...

From a platform, he was pushed
down onto the ground.

There he landed with a great cry, a lonesome sound,
where the beasts took him with teeth;

molars and canines in the form of sticks and swords for sheaths,
beat him till his lungs gave in, until they no longer heaved for a breath.

Collapsed sacks of skin in a broken body
on a broken roof
somewhere without a name,
just a news channel hook
and gambit,
theme tune and a corpse laying bare on a video screen,
shield your eyes, place a blanket over the body and boy.

our yearning sent us
striding from the herd and out
to climb with fettle toes
an unknown height

our bellied wine and swoon
to open-eyed unveiling high
the purest vista sought, but found
another sight

flashing honey in our hearts
we sang into the stars
our dance of wandering
our lips ripe

and there on idyll spike
we coupled free
denuded each we let the cosmos see
how bright and fierce we came

yet quickly we were not the same
in culmination's wake
our visions meshed
subdued the flame

we fell apart in time
descending into spite
facing elsewhere
facing night

the ache was all of life
my private thoughts
were doomed to strife
and flirted vicious hate

devoted to escape the weight
of any snide devotion's cage
we raged a final rage
then gave ourselves to fate

our wounds would send us far
flying from our love
to seek with calloused toes
new unknown heights

i gave up understanding fate
i lay down
embraced the furthest peak
berating all i'd done

i hated all i was
a curse on those i loved
a darkness plague
i spat into my soul

i'd left my home  my love
to claim an ownmost throne
my hidden heart beat slow
and turned to stone

wind no longer blew
the sun went dim
stars forsook my song
and final silence won


i lay dead inside my cave
but for an obscure truth
that even weakest hearts
weave threads of ruth

the faces of the herd
rejoined me then
their whispers lured me out
and dared me  hope

i'd found my kernal self
a love remained despite the hate
the tone of loneliness had changed

a single loving vast instilled itself
on far off pinnacle alone
blissful in myself  at last
from cattle drone
from mired sweet decay
from friendship's whine
and lover's scree
i spoke   i wrote
and measured new complacency
believing i could write a final line
express an everpresent note

astride a mountain bull
i surveyed vales below
in reborn doubt retraced
the steps we'd come

mystic pretense dawned
in shades of brilliant gray
i leapt from paradox
i sung

my eyes became a mist
my arms the mountain range
sky for breath, all rivers
fed my heart

from clouds i looked
embracing earth i blew
love sprung green
and true




.

I have been knotting and re-knotting my headphone string

For twenty seven minutes,

Trying to re-enact the exact contortion of your fingers interlaced with mine.

I have been staring into my coffee for eleven minutes,

Trying to find the exact shade of the brown of your eyes in it.

I have been glancing up at every stranger who passes me by,

Trying to see if any of them resembled you;

One had a jawline with the same sloping curve as yours.

I have been watching the grey skies outside the pane glass window,

Trying to find the cloud with the exact billowing contour

Your cigarette smoke made in the mornings.

I have been listening to the metal detector beeping,

Trying to recall the sound your alarm clock made, sitting on your bedside table,

Waking you up from a woozy dream.
——-
They have announced the boarding call for flight 207 at terminal 6.

I have a ticket in my hand

But I am glued to the seat,

The warmth of the person sitting before me still lingering.

Perhaps he had used the same cologne as you;

The smell was awfully familiar.
——-
I have not moved from my seat

For three hours and twenty three minutes.

I can feel the eyes of the security guard burning a hole through my back into my chest,

Trying to judge if I am a criminal or not.
I would be a criminal for you, love,

But it is too late

You were the one 

Who stole 

my heart 

first.

Half cut teens dressed in high street dreams
stand and survey the beach,
combing it for male shells, to clarify:
guys who think crucifix tattoos on their lower leg will save them from hell.

A mother whose job it is to look after surfboard and parasol,
yes you the mother looking my way,
you should ditch the marriage and get on the road,
hug the coast with tire squeals,
hug men with body sacrificing screams in
cheap French roadside hotels that don’t clean their bathrooms that well.

Girlfriend left to sit the sun out whilst boyfriend joins husbands in the surf,
reads but really she’s breathing,
passing the hours and folding over page corners,
don’t let him see that you don’t love him.

Tablet kids who watch the sea on screen, in apps,
when behind them is a torrent of live data swells and boils
causing swimmers to tumble and coil up close to the sea bed,
some parents, increasingly the same,
forgetting why they came to the coast in the first place.

I drink one
When I can't have two
I beat myself up
I thought I couldn't have you
Now you're telling me I'm pretty
And everything is fine
There's a ring on her finger
So she's drinking all the wine

I'm sitting in the dark
Losing feeling in my fingers
The room is full of no one
And I'm singing with the singers
Now you say you wanna kiss me
And everything is fine
I'm still feeling pretty lonely
But there isn't any wine

My skin is getting darker
So I blend in with the walls
This is all I'm getting
Always texting, never calls
He doesn't have the minutes
And I guess that I'm okay
But I wanna see tomorrow
Cause I'm tired of today