Memory is a powerful thing,
it can take you back
to happier times,
to times you hold dear.
Lord knows I won't forget the deal you made,
even if it don't mean **** now
it meant a hell of a lot back then.
Even
if you forget the times we shared,
how close we were,
I latched on,
planing
wishing
waiting
for a dream that
ultimately
would be crushed in the end.
Memory is a powerful thing,
but I guess
I remembered too much.

Hate fill my lungs as I feel the need to scream
out violent words.
Hate fills my heart,
I'm too deep in
this ****** up feeling.
Hate fills my soul,
I'm trapped
as angry music plays in my ears.
I'm stuck,
this hate keeps me in a cage
with the key dangling just above me.

Sometimes I wonder,
Do things happen for a reason?
I lay in my bed
Pondering,
Waiting,
For god or
Whoever
To take me away.
I open up,
Show my past,
My future,
Wants and desires,
And I push them
Away.
Away to the dark place
Inside a small corner of my mind.
I'm not who you think I am.
I'm a **** up,
A queer,
I'm disgusting,
It's true.
A lonely old **** up
Looking for his place in the world.
Or should I say her?
My *** means nothing,
My gender: everything.

Show me your home,
I've lost mine.
The one place I thought
I'd be happiest
Turned into a nightmare.

Show me your home,
Mines burned down
And the ashes just sit there
Reminding me of that night.

Show me your home,
I'm looking for a safe one.
This hell is quite dangerous
And I'm left alone.

Show me your home,
May I join you?
Live in the crawl space
I won't bug you.

Show me your home,
So a lonely **** up like me
Won't be left in the cold.

Sometimes I wonder
Is this life really happening?
Am I just some conscious alone in the world?
With visions of people to make myself feel less lonely?

Am I truly safe in this world
With the threat of death with every waking day?
Based on logic
I should be.
But,
What if that's only in our heads?
What if tonight
Something were to ****** you out of bed
in the middle of the night?
*I don't feel safe here anymore..

Who am I?
The kid who likes music and art?
The annoying kid
Who never pays attention?
The kid who
After discovering it one day
Due to boredom,
Likes Body mods?

Who am I?
The one crippled kid
Who everyone seems to pity?
Boy?
Girl?
Both?
Neither?
That one gay kid?

Who am I?
I remember
I used to have tons of friends,
Where did they go?
Why can't i remember
The good times I used to have?
I shut them all out,
I can't remember if i meant too
or not.

Who am I?

Often I feel
As though other people find me annoying,
Or i'm not as liked as i would like to be.
I think i'm annoying
or that things i do
are some how turn offs for others
and i was destined to be alone if i want to be myself.
i find myself
wanting to change
wanting to be liked
it feels miserable here
alone..