Annette

A Poem
By
Jude Kyrie


*The remnants of the smoke rings
from a thousand cigarettes.
Fill my mind with memories
that my heart just cant forget.

I know that life’s a journey.
Its the only one we get.
But when I dance among
old memories
its always you Annette.

I fell in love the instant
of the first time that we met.
We were both married to another
but it was always you Annette.

We could have spent a life together
but that's a chance we did not get.
I had a life of stolen moments
with you my sweet Annette.

I look up from the table
you are stood there sweet Annette
Even after forever I love you
with a love I can’t forget.

My heart is full of shadows
and I am aching with regret.
You say Harry are you crying?
your eyes are red and wet.

I smile and whisper softly.
I’m alright my sweet Annette.
It's just the smoke rings rising
from my forgotten cigarette.

Dead silent as it wanders without eyes to glances at reality so simple to taste once you do. Everything is numb shut to nothingness feelings wasted on wishes of hoping feel the warmth taken away by the void.

You don’t have to love it
You don’t have to hate it
Just know something about it

Don’t be ignorant
Don’t be belligerent
Just be intelligent

You don’t have to buy it
You don’t have to sell it
Just know something about it

Some things have already happened
I’m not the one who can take it back
Some people like to put it one way
Others talk about it like it’s fact

You don’t have to become it
You don’t have to agree with it
Just know something about it

Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be prejudicial
Just be spiritual

You don’t have to make dark of it
You don’t have to make light of it
Just know something about it

There’s more missing than we care to admit
We hear things then hang the phone up slowly
If you are choosing which bridge you must cross
The decision to change your nature is for you only

I help everyone,
I'm always there when they need a friend,
When they need to talk to me,
Just me
Because I'm the one who listens.

I know all of their stories,
I know what everyone's going through,
I know what makes them sad,
And I know what makes them...
Smile.

I'm there when they're crying,
I'm there when they're happy,
I'm there when they don't even need me,
And I'm still there
Even when they're gone.

I know my friends
Better than I know myself,
And I can read their thoughts,
Their emotions,
I know exactly what they need.

But, ah, alas,
Nobody knows a thing about me.
They say they do,
But
Do they?

They only know what I've told them,
They only know what I pretend,
They've only met
The happy side
Of me.

When I'm crying
I run to nobody.
I stay and deal with it myself
They don't need to know
That their protector is breaking.

They don't know that I have heaps
And weights pushing down,
Things that are threatening to **** me,
To drain every ounce
Of my happiness.

I fight on for them,
I smile so they don't have to know
What I go through.
I smile so that way
They do too.

When I'm crying, yes,
I type happy thoughts.
Behind an Internet screen,
Nobody knows,
Yes... nobody knows.

You can be the cause
Of your own
Destruction
And
Happiness

I find comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool,
the streams of light overhead
quietly drinking in the water,
lapping at this microcosms feet.  
The familiar weight
in my ears drowns out the noise,
The coolness against my soft skin
feels weightless and beautiful
the eventuality of breaking the surface
is almost sorrowful
No one can touch you here,
like a stone you sink slowly,
you are cut free from the ties
that have held you for so long
and just like the tiny bubbles
you'll race towards the curving surface
and into the light
and realise you were never meant to breathe here.
Not long is left and you break through,
only wanting to escape
back to where everything
was so clear, and so simple.
But, although out of the water,
and into the hands of a new morning
the fingers still curl around your neck,
and you realise
you’ve been holding your breath for a long time
and you're still holding it
And you wonder
if you’ll ever breath again.