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The sermon at church this morning was called "I am Jesus, the Good Shepherd" and it got me thinking. In this world of 7 billion people and drugs and alcohol and guns, how am I supposed to find God?
That was a rhetorical question, by the way.
Because I think I've already found him.
With God, you're supposed to feel safe. And pure. And loved. You're supposed to find true happiness and not go astray. You're supposed to be a good little sheep and stay with the flock, where your shepherd is. Your shepherd will feed you and keep you warm and safe.
I feel safe in your arms. Even though I'm far from innocent, I feel pure. I feel loved. I'm happy with you. I haven't gone astray, I've stayed with you. You hold my hand through the valleys of darkness that I must walk through. You will feed me and keep me warm and safe on nights where I just can't sleep and the cold invades my bones and the hollow space between my ribs where my heart should be beating. You'd die for me.
That's how I know that I've found God in you. You're not perfect. You're deeply flawed and above it all, you're still just a teenage boy. But to be completely honest, I think God sent you here just for me. We're meant to love each other, among all the wars and drugs and guns and out of all the 7 billion people out there, we were meant to find each other.
I'm so glad we did.
 Apr 2014 Latiaaa
Fish The Pig
I'd like to drink true
and bold
and fearless
and honest,

instead they tell me to bottle it up.

I'd like to breath easy
sleep steady,
smile
drink more
and sigh at a sight-

but instead I'm just foolish.

I've been told it is wrong since forever,
and have tried my hardest to drink
only the freshest wine-
like all the other people my age do,
but I cannot.
It results only in my lying,
Faking emotions I could never have,
pretending to like the pure taste.

I've never seen a problem with it,
but
Not only do they say it is wrong-
it is illegal.
It hurts my soul, for now,
but soon, just a year, I'll be free to love and drink
aged wine the same as I do now,
only with less scrutiny.

I'll be free to be held in public with few judging eyes,
I'll drink unto it
and it will drink into me.
and the brief
secretive moments of passion
that have always stayed hidden that people say is wrong
can end-
and cautiously enter where the sun's rays pour.

I have my eye on a fine bottle of wine,
it gets better with age,
they tell me I shouldn't,
taking a drink would be wrong,
I've only had sips-
but soon
so soon,
I'll have a glass.
 Apr 2014 Latiaaa
carmen
(optional)
 Apr 2014 Latiaaa
carmen
there isn't anything left
cp
Our love is sometimes difficult
because
I am a poet,
a lover of words.
and you,
you're shy
and quiet
and occasionally
inarticulate.
But I must give you credit-
the words that you speak
are not poetry,
but they warm my heart
almost as well
 Apr 2014 Latiaaa
Emily Bronte
On a sunny brae alone I lay
One summer afternoon;
It was the marriage-time of May,
With her young lover, June.

From her mother's heart seemed loath to part
That queen of bridal charms,
But her father smiled on the fairest child
He ever held in his arms.

The trees did wave their plumy crests,
The glad birds carolled clear;
And I, of all the wedding guests,
Was only sullen there!

There was not one, but wished to shun
My aspect void of cheer;
The very gray rocks, looking on,
Asked, "What do you here?"

And I could utter no reply;
In sooth, I did not know
Why I had brought a clouded eye
To greet the general glow.

So, resting on a heathy bank,
I took my heart to me;
And we together sadly sank
Into a reverie.

We thought, "When winter comes again,
Where will these bright things be?
All vanished, like a vision vain,
An unreal mockery!

"The birds that now so blithely sing,
Through deserts, frozen dry,
Poor spectres of the perished spring,
In famished troops will fly.

"And why should we be glad at all?
The leaf is hardly green,
Before a token of its fall
Is on the surface seen!"

Now, whether it were really so,
I never could be sure;
But as in fit of peevish woe,
I stretched me on the moor,

A thousand thousand gleaming fires
Seemed kindling in the air;
A thousand thousand silvery lyres
Resounded far and near:

Methought, the very breath I breathed
Was full of sparks divine,
And all my heather-couch was wreathed
By that celestial shine!

And, while the wide earth echoing rung
To that strange minstrelsy
The little glittering spirits sung,
Or seemed to sing, to me:

"O mortal! mortal! let them die;
Let time and tears destroy,
That we may overflow the sky
With universal joy!

"Let grief distract the sufferer's breast,
And night obscure his way;
They hasten him to endless rest,
And everlasting day.

"To thee the world is like a tomb,
A desert's naked shore;
To us, in unimagined bloom,
It brightens more and more!

"And, could we lift the veil, and give
One brief glimpse to thine eye,
Thou wouldst rejoice for those that live,
BECAUSE they live to die."

The music ceased; the noonday dream,
Like dream of night, withdrew;
But Fancy, still, will sometimes deem
Her fond creation true.



Published in the 1846 collection Poems By Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell under Emily's nom de plume 'Ellis Bell'.
Drowning (Lyrics)
Water’s getting deeper
But I can’t seem to stay afloat
And I just keep dragging myself down
Cause I don’t want the ocean
I don’t want the ocean to keep her

[Chorus]
If I could save you I would
Even if I drown beneath the waves
Now if I could save you I should
But right now I’m the one that needs to be
Saved

We’re both drifting endlessly
We’ll go wherever the water takes us
And I don’t know if I’ve lost my way
And now you’re gone
And I don’t know what to say
But…

[Chorus]

I’m the one that needs to be saved x3
Now no matter where we go
I’m the one that needs to be saved
Wherever the water will flow
I’m the one that needs to be saved

I’m drowning, I’m helpless
But there’s no time to be scared
I’m drowning, I’m helpless
You’re the only one that’s ever cared
I’m drowning, I’m helpless
Still searching the ocean for you
You’re drowning, you’re helpless
And someday the world will be too
I had to write a song to go with a scene from of moviefor one of my english classes, so i wrote this.
To tell you the truth
I don't much care
if you love another
because to be completely honest
I've never liked your hair
I've always wished it was light brown

Don't change for me
just be yourself
just stay the same
don't be a fool like everybody else

And I don't really care
so I won't tell anymore lies
now this might make you cry
but truth be told
I've never liked your eyes
I've always wished they were hazel

Don't lose yourself
amongst the crowd
you gotta sing it out
you gotta make sure you're loud
when you tell the world
I'm not gonna be like you

And I'm sorry to tell you this
I don't want us to be foes
and I won't try to hide the truth from you
because I think you should know
I've never liked your clothes
who are you pretending to be

There's no one quite like you
don't change for them
so just shout it out as loud as you can
I won't change for you because this is who I am

Now again I fear I must tell you
that what I say is true
and I don't want to seem mean
but  I know its kinda true
I've never quite liked you
you better change
you better be exactly how I want you to be
no...
Because I'm happy with my self
I love my hair
and I don't much care
because I still love my eyes
no more listening to your lies
and I love my clothes
because its what I chose
but most of all I love being me
now I see
i don't need you here
why are you still standing there
why don't you go
and criticise yourself
you're not perfect
you're no better than anybody else
we're
all
the
same...
 Apr 2014 Latiaaa
Fish The Pig
She was only a little girl when it happened.
Only a child.
The world shattered around her,
a void opened up
as her throat closed.

Her body limp,
eyes blank,
struggling to see the good in the world,
to cling to the smallest bit of magic left.

She was only a little girl when it happened,
she was only a child
when she was forced to grow up.
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