My night time self
hates
my morning self
it's clear as night and day
they never did get along.

My night time self
stays up too late
never sleeps
always thinking
drinking, plotting, planning,
worrying about morning self's mistakes
smoking a thousand cigarettes
one **** over the line
eating chocolate bars
at one a.m.

While my morning self
an early riser
is the one
that has to get up
go to work
always corrects
and
lectures
dedicated to maintaining the structure.

My night time self
only thinks about himself
uses
the last piece of wood
won't bother setting up
the coffee maker
he's so cruel
stares into t.v. space
muttering about love's
he's never had.

While my morning face
has to face
the clutter of night time
disgrace
bottles,
lights blasting
computers running
another ***** movie going
hello poetry splattered on the walls
and another alcohol poisoned
Jersey blonde
stretched out across
the bathroom floor
while morning self
has to shave
and doesn't know her name.

Night time self
finally sleeps
god rest his soul
about the time
morning self
from his dreams
has to rise
rudely awakened by talk radio.
Morning self has to go out and play
the straightened out games
while the residue
of night time insanity
lingers,
a film
covering morning self's
pretense at sanity.
Responsible
ethical
moral
always has to pay the bills
for you know who.

I once tried to get them together
a meeting of these two
but it quickly dissolved
into
a
shouting match
across the twilight dew
never could get them together
they were as different
as
me and me
and
you and you.

In all of these tomorrows
I see all these crazy
sorrows
haunting me
until you come on home
to me again.
Where you go
I don't really know.
You go so faraway
so often there you stay.

Your eyes are seeing
secret somethings
I'm not seeing
and
your not telling me what
I need to know.
Your voice it is a whisper
your touch it is so distant
your lost in all the echoes
as you ride away.

All of my tomorrows
will be filled
with all these sorrows
at the emptiness within
where now to begin?

I can only imagine
if there is another road to travel
another round to haggle.

We were a puzzle piece
in a perfect fit
a finally sense of home
the first I've ever known
being a poet
and a wanderer too.

I know the years
together
something sent from heaven
time it comes and goes.

I know you're on the road
living in the shadows
can you tell me darling
when will you be
coming home to me?

Midnight on I 80
passing by Truckee
heading East
towards the lights of old Reno.
The snow starts blowing
around Floristan,
Sierra Nevada
winter
following me
all the way down.
I'm looking for a big truck
to
get behind.

Riding on the crying road
every
Sunday night.

Wondering
if I am creating
gratitude or regrets
for
my future self's past.

What am I doing?

I left you on a January night
chasing love
in a blue moon light.
Stuck between desire
and
staying home.
I don't know what's true
what's true with me
what's true with you.

I'm stuck behind this wheel
snowy anxiety
ringing on through,
what am I doing?
what are you doing?

Creating
gratitude or regrets
for
your future self.
Will the adjustment bureau
come on through?
Or
will
I like you
make it all up as I go along
with the window steaming up,
Art Bell on the radio
Coast to Coast
the sounds of ghosts.

Will I hate myself
for
being my self
or
look back with eyes
sparkling with gratitude
and
the wonder of who I was
I doubt it,
don't you?

Now as I write this poem
with my life
together and asunder
will I look
back with gratitude
or regret?

As I hit Fourth Street
the clouds have parted
stars are shining through,
I'm no longer crying
the crying road is done.
I still do not know what I have begun.

The air gets thicker
as my room gets darker
I can barely see my
name
my identity fades
as I evolve and change
until I become unrecognizable
even to myself.

We think we are
what we always will
be
time in the midst
stands still,
the illusions we weave
can only deceive
until the truth
is told to set us free.

In this life
everything we believe
we know is a dream
the power of ego
deceives us into thinking
we have more to win
or lose.

We puff up like
parrots
reciting our lines
of
sorrows or joys
in hopes to find
one moment of truth
but it's only for this
brief time.

I kick the rock
I lay with you
to remind me
in
this warm embrace of
your sweet arms
I finally
remember
I'm really real.

My year of Burning Man
began
with butterfly wings
flapping out on the playa
in a high desert black
moonless sky
speeding up the relentless winds
just enough for me
to hear it call my name
and
make this change
where life
becomes a vast array
of
giant machines
Las Vegas style
in this black rock desert.

I have lived among in my days
of sustained isolation
before the people came
to construct this
city of lights
and community
where we all belong
and participate
in this life art project
free from the rules
that restrict us
as the giant sweat lodge
of the desert
alters our consciousness
frees us.

In my year of Burning Man
the relentless winds
blows the mundane into the insane
and
before entering that last gate
I kiss myself goodbye
knowing
I'll never see myself again.

My  time
becomes an art project
and the very nature of reality
heaves and sighs
like Pyramid Lake,
the spiritual center of the Paiute people,
which you pass on by
on your way to Burning Man skies,
my internal waters
turn over,
as does the Lake
as the top goes to the bottom
the bottom to the top
and the creative residue
which had drifted
on down
begins to arise anew.

In my year of the Burning Man
I never have to go to the circus
the circus is me
a universe inside
a universe tall
a universe wide
at Burning Man
nothing is small.

The costumes come alive
behind thousands of eyes
the lights in the desert come alive
while the thumping bass
shakes
rattles you inside.

It's a masked costume party
where the masks don't hide
but reveal all that you are inside,
inside out.

My revolution comes
in a tanker truck
of gasoline
on a Saturday summer-fall
night
and my flames
climb
a thousand feet high
into
the Black Rock
desert sky
in unity
one cosmic cry.

The dust's breath
sticks to everything,
every one
every masked body.

In my days
in my Burning Man year
my eyes are now
perpetually wide and amazed
within this vastness
that for this moment
and all my days
from my birth
to my death
that
I have been alive.

It's the
old
Blah Blah Blah
it's gonna
drive you mad

It's the
Blah Blah Blah
every time
you turn your head.

The mouths are moving
but you're not hearin
a word
their saying,
like
a dog listening to Russian
it's all
Blah Blah Blah
Bingo
Blah Blah Blah

My partner's complaining
My children are whining
Your parents eyes are dialating
The teacher is lecturing
the bosses are gesturing
the customer is complaining, irate
the salesman with smiles
is bombing your face.

You're told
you're not good enough
fast enough
right enough
tough enough
too slow
too late
you know what they're saying
but
all you are seeing
is
the old
Blah Blah Blah

I'm looking
into
every one's
eyes
they all seem surprised,
I'm not really sure
what it is
they are all really doin',
all I'm hearing
and probably saying
is
the
Blah Blah Blah