Depression is a game, you are forced to play
Its never going to end, just ring around the rosie
Its, another time around the board

It affects everything,

Trying to see the good, the positive, and the optimistic, or the inspirational
Makes you feel worse, and tears start to swell against your eyelids

Trying to escape depression is a never ending fight against these feelings you can not seem to surpass, it becomes you, it destroys you

And,

Then,

It becomes you

I tend to try and stay away from people
Spend hours in the bathroom smoking chimney smoke
Safe behind the door of my apartment, views of mountains, and city life
Pressed between something I had and something I have gained
Confused in which way I should see

Maybe one day it will all work itself out
Life might just figure out the kinks on its own
Empty all the ashtrays and the empty broken homes

I am letting life pass by
Watching it go, from the window
Letting myself dye in isolation
Cowering from the things I could eventually know

The water is cold and the sky is dark
I have managed to escape the life I had feared
And built up brick walls

Having something of a disappointment,
of a father,
Or having a inferior daughter,
youre not proud of,

I am useless, a waste of breath,
for him, I am nothing,
Didnt like a family, so bought a new one.
And I have scars to show, and tears on my sleeves,
Pretending that he means nothing,

I am sick of all the deceit
All the things we tell ourselves
To make the day end
I am sick

Its never going to be enough for them,
It will not ever reach over the rainbow,
There is no *** of gold
Only a bowl full of ***  
And that’s all you’ll get

So fire up, put on your IRL shoes
And blow with the breeze,
Look at the little things that make you survive

Find whatever makes you feel complete
And darling, I think that just might

Just might,

Be you

Do you ever want the best for me?
Ever realize, that I struggle with emotions,
With being out in reality, with interactions of strangers and foe
I put my cards in one basket, twice.
They bluffed.

Would you?
Call mine?

The record subtly spinning,
Music has always accompanied my psychosis
Makes me feel tall.
Just the interior monologue of my youth and the days I was never around

I’m all full
Filled up with yesterdays
And regrets

Where is my hero?
To save me from tears and blankets
To hold my hand when I sleep,
And make sure I believe in Ever After

The time for change has come
And once again, life in boxes
Shoveling things into tiny spaces,
Getting ready for the future.

Off to my, one bedroom, one, alone
Third Floor, to the right, it’ll be home in one weeks time.
Its exciting and scary, a time of rebirth
Let in the new me, and say goodbye to the hermit.

Time to let myself experience the world through another looking glass
And not just be looking up from a basement with no noise cancelling headphones
And less tricks of your eye, as I say goodbye to this place of doubt and uncertainty

Strangers coming in, looking at the old lifestyle of a hopeless dreamer,
Messy thoughts and untidy illusions of the hope of time, and the thought of making

Promise

The Cold Dust Woman,
Crying on her Broken Porch,
Screaming for something to come and save her reckless soul
Trying to find something else besides the day to day,
A break from society, A break that will substantiate the differences between experience,
           And an alternative motive.

Something alike using a product,

To gain, and better yourself.
Individual.