My body is not mine

It is my mom's
And my dad's
And the passersby's

It is for the mirror
And the food
And the exercise

My body is not mine

How do I dress right?
What do I wear?
What if they laugh at me?
What if they stare?
What is this color?
What name does it say?

What of my name?
What weight does it carry?

My body is yours,
I regret to inform you

My body is not mine

It's my demons
You'll bury

everyone wants to ****
the Madam.
what's an imagination
without Adam?

leave me alone.
I am not the one
to be conquered.

i don't care if
"i'm home"
you are the former
and latter.

Don't tell me I can—
I can't

I'm tired and afraid
I tiptoe

Please leave me alone
But don't go

I'm tired and disturbed
It's wonderful

All over the place
And nowhere at all

I don't want to heal
It burdens my soul

i'd like to introduce
someone new to the mix

back when i broke the news
to my psychiatrist—
a cute, obtuse 'two shoes,
silly semanticist,

told me that drugs are bad
& called my friend a hack

audacity again...
pots calling kettles black.

it's nothing you haven't seen before.

what you love, I hate and
what you hate, I adore

tell me that you'll never
come knocking at my door

but if you do, tell me before
so we can do it all once more

i'd like to look pretty for you
but i'd love you even more

had you known
I am a woman

who sometimes
you'd deplore

hey baby.
I'm sorry we had to meet like this.

I wish I could wear pretty nightgowns
And frilly things

Instead, I'm in bed with night frowns
And silly thinks

you've limited yourself
to an ungodly extent

remember all those hours you spent
days, months, and years
with feelings, intense?
where everything was exciting
and all your senses made sense?

when did you migrate
to the polar-opposite-end?

how do i talk to you
without tearing us to shreds?

and are you really indifferent
if you now mourn
your own difference?