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 May 2014 Abbigail
AJ
Garden
 May 2014 Abbigail
AJ
When I first met you,
You has this smile on your face.
And I swear to god
I couldn't make this up if I tried,
But if you looked at the ground
The way you looked at me,
I promise you
At least four dozen flowers
Would have sprouted right up from the ground.
You were that magical.

But three months in,
And a bottle and a half of *****,
You hit me so hard,
That you left bite marks in my mind,
And scars on my heart composed of your fingerprints.

All the flowers have died.
 May 2014 Abbigail
Chris
I shouldn't let it bother me.
I'm starting to think
there's something wrong with my head.
I'd like to think everyone would tell me to let go.
I'd like to think I would if I knew how.
I still write you poems.
Not on paper of course,
I can't just leave them around your house anymore.
I found one in the corner of my ceiling last night.
It had something about the ocean and your skin.
I smiled.
I've forgotten the way you looked at me.
It's better this way.
It's exhausting;
knowing you still exist, figuring out if I still do too.
You understood,
that's more than I can say for anyone else.
Most days break me.
I stand up most of the time
and remember how you taught me that's okay.
I'm sorry I can't write anything better lately
 May 2014 Abbigail
Chris
Still am.
 May 2014 Abbigail
Chris
Here I am, looking up causes for headaches
at 1 am
when I know it will always come back to you.
My hands found the bottom of the ocean
as I cleaned old movie tickets out of my car today.
I can see your honesty from here.
It took my composure on its way out the door.
I’m not bitter anymore.
I’m just tired.
And I’m tired of being so tired.
I’m sorry you didn’t stay.
I’m sorry that I apologize
for all the times you didn’t.
I keep forgetting these things
are not one-sided,
and so,
I’m sorry I gave you everything
for nothing in return.
You tasted like love,
and I was parched.
Still am.
It's terrible, but it needed to make its way out
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Joshua Haines
You stab me in the back with a knife,
and I apologize for bleeding on it.
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Joshua Haines
Upon the stale wind, her body flails again
I came walking through the field
to learn about compassion
She was blonde and the last heart in town
The moon bathed her from within
What a loveless dream from that tree
touching God's skin.

Her feet above my head, painted in mud and above the sugarcane
And if I didn't love her so, I'd be able to walk from this pain
But I recall her warm breath the last time we kissed
The air tasted of a broken soul that I failed to fix

Blood under her nails, scratching freedom too slow
If she was yelling for my name, then I'd rather not know
It might as well been me who hung her above the stars
I did not give her enough of me and it will haunt me for years
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Joshua Haines
That's not a God, that's a sense of entitlement
A sugarcoated dishevelment in disguise
You don't have dreams, just infatuations
Turning hope into self-indulgent lies

I turned away from New York just to know you
Silver showered soldiers singing serene
I turned away from myself just to love you
But I don't think you know what love means

You're not alone, just afraid of isolation
Afraid no one will be better than me
I'm not that great, I say without hesitation
Someone will love you more, just wait and see

My opinion of you changes like the skyline
A star among the cascading dark
Baby, don't let yourself flame out
Before the rest of your fire starts
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Jon Shierling
I'm writing you this letter because I have no address to send it to, and our relationship is such as it is that if I ever see you again and tried to speak, I would flounder upon the words. All these years later, I still receive visits from you in my dreams. I'll turn and almost expect to see you sitting beside me in the car, or reading in the park when I take my lunch break. I can still remember exactly how you felt in my arms, can still taste you if I think hard enough. The journal we shared found it's final flight from my arms in the only city I ever loved, the city that has changed me so much from the boy that didn't know what to do with a love like yours. That journal full of memories, full of who we used to be, has been brought to it's final home by the Atlantic tides. What's left of the romantic in me likes to believe it was found and read by someone who needed to know that portion of our stories. I've come full circle now I think, and I'm still grappling with the same questions I was then, still locked in combat with myself. I know that you're happy though, wherever you are. My heart still tells me that much. I hope that you've been able to turn forward and live for life's sake, and if you have, please send some of that my way. I could use some of that light you always carried with you now.
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Fudz Lana
I know.
 Apr 2014 Abbigail
Fudz Lana
Your eyes are telling a tale
Everywhere you go

Your steps are making rhythms
silent and slow

Your head was never high
Nor does your voice

Every tremble of your hands
Every quiver on your lips
I know.
for my lovely friend who had thought for all these years no one has seen the pain in his eyes or the anxiety on his face. I miss you. be strong.
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