Writing by the moonlight,
she gets lost in the Ocean’s waves,
half Angel have Mermaid,
have uncontrollable have behaved,

so beautiful she is,
this Work of Art in Progress,
she’s got this God feeling God Blessed,
which only makes sense since she’s a Goddess,

lost in,
her conscious,
we’re in love,
it’s obvious,
this life,
is only an instant,
then it’s gone in a flash,
like an epiphany or meditative vision,
everything’s intrinsic and happens in an instant,
so we operate of instinct and intuition,

we drink from the Fountain of Youth,
and eat the Forbidden Fruit when it comes to fruition,
swimmin’ like a dolphin all in this current current that’s constant,
not a fish or a fisherman so I’m not fishing,

just sittin’,
on the beach in Venice,
watching my love swim in the sea,
at midnight under the full moon feeling replenished,

listing to Miguel sing tales,
of The Day The City of Angels Fell,
with my girl and I know she’s only human,
but she seems so much like a Mermaid I swear I see a tail,

as she swims in the ocean,
on a wave catching waves,
half Angel have Mermaid,
have uncontrollable have behaved,

her gaze,
melts these walls I’ve built,
and yeah the water’s rough,
but her touch is smooth as silk,
as we set sail,
into the future and all it entails,

oh God I’ve never felt,
so much for the touch of one,
told you before she’s my lifeguard,
we’re just getting started and the rest are already done,

writing by the moonlight,
she gets lost in the Ocean’s waves,
half Angel have Mermaid,
have uncontrollable have behaved,

so beautiful she is,
this Work of Art in Progress,
she’s got this God feeling God Blessed,
which only makes sense since she’s a Goddess…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

I am indebted,
to her like a samurai,
that’s why she is my girl,
and I am her guy,

she is my Mermaid,
and I am her slave,
so I always come second,
because she is first place,

at worst case,
I knew she’d get me with the right hook,
because I’m a sucker for good words,
almost as much as I’m a sucker for good looks,

I took,
the bait hook line and sinker **** it,
she got me with the right hook,
even though she’s left handed,

we take nothing for granted,
I give her the ground where I’m standing,
total opposites that’s why we fit together,
every moment spontaneous no planning,

see existence exists in every instant,
an instance of this is the existential bliss,
that her and I have when we unite,
and our unity is sealed with a kiss,

like a rose I suppose,
which is a reference,
Seal, kiss, rose,
now do you get it,

see there are similarities in my similes,
and metamorphosis in my metaphors,
and no I’m not **** about my analogies,
or allergic to verses so there’s always more in store,

topic always hot like that shop at the mall,
that’s us when we’re on fire like a phoenix,
see she saved me after I’d been crucified and burned,
not by Romans but by romance so I owe her my soul like Jesus,

I mean this,

she made spoken art light up from my broken heart of darkness,
broke apart then lit the spark so call us Spontaneous Combustion,
because when we’re together no matter whatever everything’s better,
and we light up the sky like lightening bolts see she’s where I put my trust in,

never rusting,

her mom died so on Mother’s Day we went to the beach,
where she protected me from myself and I protected her from the wind,
see we lived life grateful for every moment,
because we all know we’re all gonna go we just don’t know when,

well one day you’ll be gone and your love will be gone,
because we all get lost and then get gone like the wind,
see this is real love no counterfeit,
this is both generous and genuine all real no pretend,

when,
with here I feel found,
my lullaby for restless nights,
is the heart in her chest and the sound it makes when it pounds,

I am,

indebted,
to her like a samurai,
that’s why she is my girl,
and I am her guy…

∆ LaLux ∆

free book available worldwide here:
www.scribd.com/document/367036005

Wow,
life is such a trip,
one minute you’re up next minute you’re down,
one second you’re happy the next you want to slash your wrist,

almost slashed my wrist today,
naked wrapped in a towel,
on the shower floor,
ready to let go,

used to be a Cutter anyways,
used to be a punk in the gutters anyways,
used to think about suicide and still do,
so even though I’ve got more money now what’s really changed?

Pain,
is still such an overpowering emotion,
which is how I found myself in a horizontal fetal position,
on the bathroom floor ready to cut myself open,

just wanted to clean out the pain,
so that maybe I could start again,
a new life with a chance to make everything right,
and have someone that falls in love instead of falling apart again,

and it was all over a girl,
isn’t almost always,
she left me with no explanation,
my last image of her was in my hallway,

going down the stairs,
with a bag that’s too heavy to carry,
and I thought about that bag and her travels,
and how I thought she might of been the one I married,

but apparently I wasn’t perfect enough for here,
she wanted a Catholic Vegan and I am neither,
I told her that she should not restrict her love with discriminations,
because even though I’m not religious I am still a True Believer,

and I’d just wanted some space I didn’t want to forever leave her,

but she took it the wrong way and made her escape,
and as she left out that door I knew I’d never again see her,

and there I was,
with all the pain from my past,
triggered in an instant by a girl I barely knew,
in a place where everything just felt bad,

and I was alone with my tortured self,
and everything from my tortured past,
and everything I saw reminded me of her,
and I wanted to just escape so fast,

so I grabbed a knife,
and headed to the bathroom,
I laid myself in the shower over the drain,
and assumed the position,

and just as the tip of the blade kissed my wrist,
and the first drop of blood escaped,
my phone rang in the other room,
and I wondered if I’d been saved,

my best friend was calling me,
he must be telepathic,
because the first thing he said to me was,
“Are you okay please don’t do anything drastic.”,

he made me promise,
that I would see him tomorrow,
and wouldn’t let me get off the phone,
until I promised him that vow,

see I never break a promise,
even if I do break hearts,
so when he made me make that promise,
we both knew that today would not be the day for me to depart,

so instead of slashing my wrist,
I went outside to bask in bliss,
to Venice beach I ran,
because the beach is just a block from where I live,

I ran until I was exhausted,
and ended up at the shoreline,
where I noticed a mystical gypsy girl,
meditating in the sunshine,

“Excuse me,
can I ask you for some advice?
What would you do if the woman you loved left you,
and you were considering ending your life?”,

she explained,
everything was only temporary,
and sometimes the pain,
is truly necessary,
and,
that we have to have our hour broken,
to let,
the light in and let our love deepen,

She then said she had something for me,
reached into her back and brought out a black tourmaline,
she gave it to me and said when she was on Suicide Watch,
a shaman visited her in the hospital and brought her black tourmaline,

she told me to where it,
listen to my heart and I’d get better,
I put the tourmaline on with newfound purpose,
and with strength and guidance I thanked her for the gesture,

I then left that mystical gypsy women,
there in the setting sun,
then set off back into the world,
to finish things I’d left undone,

on the way back,
I met a group of people kinda like myself,
they asked me what I was doing,
I replied “Trying not to **** myself.”,

they invited me to their place,
and here where the story takes another twist,
because there I met a girl,
who also had a story of desperation and wrists,

and that girl,
she was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman,
she was intelligent and beautiful,
she was hurt and a healer she was fixed up and broken,

and in that instant I saw how divine this all is,
and in an instant I realized the magic of this Life we live,
so I invited her back to my place,
and she instantly said yes,

life’s such a trip,
I mean it’s really something to think about,
like how every event in your entire life,
led you to this moment you’re living right now,

and any person you’ve ever met,
had to have their own exact experiences,
to lead them to find you,
and for both of you to be together in something that seems instantaneous,

and so there we were,
and we went back to my place and made love,
and everything felt so automatic and natural,
because with true love that’s just what is up,

she came and I came,
and we both knew how long it had been,
so after we made love,
we just laid there in our moment of bliss,

in that bubble we created,
that was only ours to have,
away from everything else,
where we could explore and laugh,

because we’ve all been through a lot,
but with love we will heal,
so there is no time for small talk,
only want you if you’re real,

and speaking of real,
to keep it real I’ve got to shout out my Ex,
because if she hadn’t left right when she did,
well then I wouldn’t have met my Next and had ***,

and I’m so glad she did,
and I’m so glad you did,
and I’m so glad I did,
and I’m so glad we did what we did,

and now I’m in the kitchen naked cutting asparagus,
with the same knife I almost used to cut my wrist,
see life is a beautifully horrible tormenting joyful state of painful bliss,
as yes what an interestingly twisted experience this life we live is,

and I’m going to get back to my bliss,
because I want to take a rest,
but before I go,
here’s a few words for me Ex,

“Dear Love,
I’m glad you left me because I found a better you,
she’s like you except new and improved,
because she’s vegan too but she’s only 22,
and she loves me unconditionally,
and here’s the proof,
if we have problems we work it out,
because that’s what grown people do,
we don’t runaway,
we stand and communicate,
and I know you understand,
because I know you relate,
but your love was not enough,
and ultimately you didn’t care,
so you had to go to make room for someone that actually loves me,
well okay then goodbye take off and take care,
I will always love you,
always have and always will,
even though you’re not ready for grown love,
because even at almost 30 you’re still just a little girl,
so good luck and goodbye,
I wish you well,
maybe see you again but I doubt it,
I guess time will tell…”,

and to you dear reader,
and to your depression,
don’t deny your depression go through it,
because it leads to progression,

and progression leads to transition,

and you never know what the next moment will bring,
and you’ll never know if you do the irreversible,
so even in your darkest moments of despair,
remember to stay hopeful so,

you can look back and say,
you were stronger than Death,
you lived to love another day,
and well this is your story too so you know the rest…

∆ LaLux ∆

www.scribd.com/document/367036005

Had myself baptized today,
but there was no priest present,
only I but then again I am Aaron,
The High Priest and I was present,

so maybe there was a priest present,

had myself baptized today,
and no the water was not holy water,
but then again it was a hot springs deep within the earth,
Mother Earth offering Her blessings in the form of water,

so maybe it was holy water,

had myself baptized today,
but it was not in a church,
though in a way this whole Earth is holy,
Heaven is our roof and every word is a prayer,

so maybe I was in a church,

had myself baptized today,
wearing nothing not even a crucifix around my neck,
wearing nothing except my 24k gold chain,
which in a way represents sacrifice and redemption around my neck,

so maybe I was wearing a form of the crucifix around my neck,

for Lord knows I’ve sacrificed,
and only God knows the extent of my sins,
but through the power of the pen,
I constantly write my way towards redemption,

had no cross to dip in the holy waters,
all alone I was deep in a steaming cavern,
naked as the day I was born I prayed as I poured,
myself into those holy waters,

inside a mountain somewhere in Colorado,
a place called Indian Springs,
where Native Americans used to gather,
before the Europeans came colonizing,

it’s all more than sorta symbolic,
it’s more than a little ironic don’t you think,
how the only place I can find peace from these people,
is alone deep in a mountain at a hot springs,

here Mother Nature takes me back into her womb,
where I can surrender without fear of betrayal,
in her warm embrace I let her carry my worries away,
accepting the fact that I may never find my savior,

that I may never find a partner,
that I may one day die alone,
that unless I change my ways,
there will be no one to carry my legacy on,

and that gets us back to the subject,
which I haven’t even brought up yet,
of the woman that broke my heart,
and how she led me to this process,

I guess she had to ****** my heart,
for my heart to die and be born again,
so it a way her actions were a blessing,
which allowed me to write this poem we’re in,

see she said she wanted a Catholic Vegan,
and I act more like a Blasphemous Pagan,
but I’m not one to conform to any Rules of Man,
just because Man calls those rules a religion,

and I know my relationship with God is unbreakable,
and I know God loves me unconditionally,
but I just wish she loved me as much as God does,
and would accept me unconditionally,

but she didn’t and she doesn’t,
so she killed my heart so it could be born again,
and for that I am thankful and eternally grateful,
and for that I will forever be her friend,

but that doesn’t make the pain hurt any less,
it just makes the pain a little more bearable,
because I would do anything to have her back,
I would offer her my everything even my soul,

but I had to let her go,
because nothing last forever,
and even though she might have been an angel,
she for sure was not my savior,

seems no one can save you except for yourself,
I mean when you’re having issues most people won’t even help,
so if you want to improve heal your bruises and move,
you’ve got to learn how to get up and help yourself,

and that’s why I went for a drive,
and that’s why I soaked in those hot springs,
because I don’t need a religion to have a relationship with God,
I don’t need a collection plate to give offerings,

told you before the whole earth is my church,
and no one can tell me what God is telling me,
don’t need a priest, nun, rabbi, or imam,
to explain the meaning of these futuristic prophecies,

I don’t need any one person or thing,
I’m on a mission that’s divine in it’s essence,
and I am divine so even though I haven’t been ordained,
I am Aaron so when I’m here there is a priest present,

so I channel these revelations,
creating scriptures that read like repentance,
and as was in the beginning so it shall be in the end,
so here is where we shall return to the first sentence,

and I had myself baptized today,
but there was no priest present,
only I but then again I am Aaron,
The High Priest and I was present,

so maybe there was a priest present…

∆ LaLux ∆

latest book is available FREE here: www.scribd.com/document/367036005

I think the main problem is,
I always fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like I’ve never been hurt before,

we throw caution to the wind,
then go all in with reckless abandon,
because we are on the ride of your life,
and we don’t want to go solo we’d rather ride tandem,

on a tangent,
writing lines as my emotions run rampant,
I’m in a parking lot somewhere outside of Denver,
on my laptop typing like it’ll make some kind of difference,

woke up,
on the wrong side of the bed,
welcomed back,
to Waking Life with a tightness in my chest,
and this relentless feeling,
of eternal loneliness that I can’t shake,
which has got me thinking,
maybe some souls can’t be saved,

and maybe that’s why I’m now sitting in my car,
with tears in my eyes and nowhere to drive,
because there’s nowhere I want to go,
other than back to the place where my love was denied,

the only place I want to go,
is back into the arms of the one that let me go,
but she’s so far gone that our memories seem like just dreams,
and I’m not dreaming I’m wide awake so,

I feel so far away from her,
and the tears start to flow,
and instead of take of my life I shake and write,
these words to show we all hurt and lose control,

and yeah I know I’ve got nothing really to complain about,
because I’ve got a great life and all that,
but knowing that my life is better than most of those in this world,
doesn’t really make me feel better in fact,
it makes me more depressed,
because it makes me wonder what hope we have left,
as the forests burn and the wars rage,
and the polar bears panic on constantly melting ice caps,

and I’m aware of all of these facts,
and maybe that’s why I’m in my car with tears in my lap,
lost with no motivation running out of time and patience,
can’t see a future can’t feel the present can’t remember the past,

oh what an unruly mess we’ve made,
how much longer could this all possibly last?

And despite all of this or maybe because of it,
I always fall instantly in love,
because it seems like love is the only thing that matters,
and the only thing that can save us from ourselves,

but maybe we need to fly in love instead of fall in love,
maybe then we can finally be liberated,
maybe if we just showed a bit more love to the world,
maybe then that love would be reciprocated,

so maybe love isn’t the problem,
maybe love is the solution,
maybe we need more reckless lovers not less,
loving without restraints or reservations,

even though 9 times out of 10,
it leads to heartbreak again,
but hey we’d rather express our love,
than try and hide it and pretend,
that we don’t feel anymore,
because we still feel we really do,
so find someone to love right now,
before everything is done & through,

and I still love you,

and maybe that’s why I think the main problem is,
that we always fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like we’ve never been hurt before,

but that’s okay,
because I’d rather live one day,
in love,
than live in a lifetime of hate,

so go ahead,
fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like you’ve never been hurt before…

∆ LaLux ∆