I
You came to me that night with singed thoughts
spinning wildly around me as you questioned-
the universe.

I could only watch as you carved madness into scraps of paper.
While your skull met my bedroom wall
again
and again
and again.

Only for you to run into the street and set fire to your findings.
It was then that you spoke to me for the first time that night

I need to go to the hospital.

II
Folding my self into the chairs of the only emergency room I trusted
I counted my breaths.
As your mother counted the ways that this was her fault.

Until they unlocked the maze of doors that lead to your sterile prison.
But there were still no answers,
only therapeutic needles to the hips meant to mute the mania.
But it could only stun yours to sleep long enough to be moved
to a bigger behavioral prison

III
The next three days were a series of
waiting rooms
phone calls
safe words
and locked doors.
Waiting through a supposed 72 hour hold.

But in this world weekends don't count.

And once again I found myself folded into a waiting room
as I met your grandparents.
Immediately forgetting their names
because all I could do was wonder,

If my sanity was falling just as fast as you were.

IV
I found you barefoot in a new pile of paper madness,
careening in a suicide proof wasteland.
Your eyes seared through my sockets as you whispered to me-
I want out.

But your blood was polluted with experimental drugs
and your fingers were twitching for a nicotine fix you couldn't get.

You some how managed to silence your body long enough
to convince them your mind had followed.
And that for you weekends do count.

V
You came back to me no longer singed but burning.
They eradicated your sanity and pretended to send it home with you
in a bottle of pills.

I watched you piece what was left of it back together.
So now we could wade through the remnance-
and wait

for it to all happen again.

artist's hands press her solidly
to a brilliant kaleidoscope of elegant golden bones and glittering skin;
strong palms resting with easy power
on the pliant wilderness of her hips,
heavenly flesh blossoming recklessly
into lush riots
of honeysuckle and savage roses.

from a little girl's shy smile he coaxes
the untamed laughter and rapturous moans of a grown woman's
wild pomegranate mouth;
licks tears of wondering ecstasy from widening, curious eyes,
pulls from her hips the feral undulations that, unchecked,
could unravel a tyrant's paradise.

he offers knowledge,
a sticky, illicit fruit into which she sinks
her
pretty white teeth.

deep crimson juice flows in starry rivulets  
from softly parted lips to heaving ribs,
traverses gently a milky expanse
of breath and taut muscles,

halting to illuminate suddenly
a glowing womb,
freshly radiant with new life.

it happened again
another life taken
****
i
am
so
tired
of
this

i thought
this is
the reality of being black
the least i could do
was bear witness to
that fateful moment
when two men thought
they had the right
to play God

to knock you over
and look down on you
as they pulled the trigger

the racism in their bullets
make wounds that
never heal
in hearts that are
still beating
and i'm so sorry that
the last thing you saw
were hateful eyes

i'm sitting here and
pleading insanity
on behalf of humanity

bullets in black bodies
from the hands of
ignorant and aggressive
white men
who ****** without
repercussion or remorse

the cycle repeats
as the definition states

bullets in black bodies
from the hands of
ignorant and aggressive
white men
who ****** without
repercussion or remorse

what is it going to take
to remedy this pain
please someone assure us
that this time
his life will
not be in vain

we have to change
and stop living in
America: the land of
the insane.

I won't have kids
I'm very serious
Not until i can say to them
"I lived through a time when it was unhealthy to have your curly hair and brown skin,
When you could be killed over an assumption. Yes I know even if you had nothing to do with it.
I lived through a time when it didn't mean much to us to serve and protect.
But your generation can do better than us,
We caught and exposed via our phones and social media the power lustful and corrupt

But we only received this torch from those that walked up and down on this path before us.
I want you to do better and be better than us my child, so go out into the world and be proud of your heritage and who you are
Remember the struggles we went through, so they never happen again. "

Oh my cute kitty cat,
Lying all cozy on my bed.
How I wish I were you,
I want to be pampered too!
'Meow,' you would say,
In response I nod okay.
You got me at your beck and call,
Following every wish I shall.
So I bring you some fresh milk,
While you lie there waiting on the silk...