Out of body, out of touch
If I feel at all, then I feel too much
This poem is as shallow as my grave

But I'm still digging

If I want a God then I'll misbehave
If I want to be sad then I'll entertain
Just because I'm found
doesn't mean I'm around
Just because I'm growing up
Doesn't mean I can't be down

I'm sorry, mom and dad,
but if I want to be happy then I'll have to be sad
I'll write until my fingers bleed
Until my words are the blood that the readers need

//                      
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
           Hello? Is anyone really there?

I open the door where the mysterious knocks came from
To enter a room full of mirrors
Reflecting a girl who has her finger on the trigger.  

                       "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
          Hello? Is anyone really there?

She stares at her reflection and asks, "Is anyone there?"
The voices inside whisper "NO"  
As if she already didn't know what this implied.

                       "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                        "Knock knock"
                           Who's there?
                         "Knock knock"
                         No one's there.

Just before the trigger went boom
The girl just stared.
Blank eyes and pale lips as she said with gloom,
"No one's really here."

You two look great together.
Some may even say
a match made in heaven.
He's my best friend,
almost like my brother,
and you . . .
You were my everything-

This relationship was my
Armageddon.

The two most important
people in my life
committed
the most horrendous
betrayal
known to a man's heart.

I was fooled, I was played.

Both of you grabbed my heart
and just destroyed it;
y'all tore it apart.

My soul,
my smile,
my everything
was just an illusion.

I loved this woman,
heart and soul.

And he,
who I thought was my brother,
knew exactly how I felt
for this woman.
He knew I wanted to give her
my name.

But they both schemed
a plan together.

Traitors.

And now I'm here,
drunken with anger and hate.
Asking myself,
"What did I do wrong
to receive this fate?"

We play a game, a provacative tug of war.
Seductively sinful, our bodies destined to be one.
The sleepier the world gets
The more awake we become.

You tenderly kiss
My plump pink lips
As your hand on my neck
Tightens its grip.

You take pleasure in the whimpers
I start to make
As you say, "Not yet.
You're gonna have to wait."

I beg and plead
For you to give me sweet release,
But you demand control
And obedience to you as my creed.