My face in stillness,
threads a shroud of silence.
My skin lightens, my blood thus fades,
it burns and cooks my soul alive.
As it weeps and wallows in the agony,
slow un-coming unforgiving death
slow slow slow death
what a joke of agony
life plays
as its bow plays the tune of my pain
forever linked, forever intwined with your death. .
a t̶u̶n̶e̶ that never ends . . .

Amongst the desert, with its silence
broken by the cricket that does not sleep.
There is a tomb, your tomb, adorned by flowers.
With their beautiful everlasting Hughes of yellow and blue,
tainted, sun bleached, plastic flowers,
trash littered amongst your grave
tells the tale of someone forgotten. . .
In this tomb your name is carved,
with its letters lost to time,
& on moonlight nights,
under the basking of the stars,
amongst the waves of my damnation
I wish I had more time,
   I wish I you proud of me,
        I wish I could turn back time. . .
for even in death, I fail you.
    just look at your t̶o̶m̶b̶. . .
          I'm sorry. . .

3 years ago you left this world,
   3 years ago I ceased to exist,
        breathing became life,
             until yesterday,
                 I decided to live again. . . not for you. . . not for them. . .
                         but for me. . . -strength

He does not know how to run,
  run after; love, dreams, aspirations
     when you left, you broke him
         I want to fix him. . . but I can't.
             That's the worst feeling in this earth.

This bed; 𝓘 lay alone. . .
I d𝓸𝓷'𝓽 want to be alone. . .
    I 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 you; next to me
       Please let 𝓾𝓼 conjoin and become one
          take me 𝓽𝓸 the heavens
             Take me to a happy place 𝓫𝓮 kind. . .  
                𝓪 duo, becomes one. . .
                  I lay alone living amongst this 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝔂. . .

The hardest thing,
  is opening your heart again,
     & seeing everything that is wrong with loving.
If I call; its because I miss your voice.
   If I send a text; its because I care
      If I want to be close; don't push me away. . .
for it makes me think I am not good enough.
     I feel stupid when I cry,
           I feel alone, in this cold world.

Don't ask me not to care too much,
     you will become my world,
          even when our cosmos collide
     even when sedation and lies of happiness no longer fix the break
   I will still love you, why? Because at one point we were best friends.