A Thomas Hawkins: Poems

738 · May 2010

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

Poetic
Inspirational, Emotional
Reaching, Sharing, Connecting
You are not alone
Comfort

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

738 · Sep 2010

The Cape

A Thomas Hawkins Sep 2010

The Cape

I came out here to write
and maybe sit upon the sand
perhaps conjure up a vision
of us together hand in hand

But as I stand upon the rocks
as waves crash upon the beach
perhaps this storm it has a lesson
and I'm the one it needs to teach

See things dont always go as planned
in any of our lives
like the beach we too get shaped
our waves are lovers, friends and wives

The visit for a moment
in the greater scheme of things
leaving our shores weathered
scattered with a million things

some give to us more than they take
others take more than they give
the driftwood that gets left behind
becomes the life we live

So as I stand upon the rocks
and waves crash upon the beach
I take stock of the lessons learned
glad that I'm within their reach

737 · Jul 2010

Spanka tanka

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Spanka tanka

Offer me both cheeks
And I'll make them rosy red
with squeals of delight
As you beg me not to stop
From across my bended knee

737 · Aug 2010

Whats eating you?

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Whats eating you?

It always hurts to see you cry
and not to know the reason why
The cause of which I try to find
but your answers always "never mind"

But mind I do, because I care
and hate to see you sitting there
with tears escaping bloodshot eyes
no explanations, revealing whys

It always hurts to hear you cry
and not to know the reason why
to listen to your sobs at night
that start when I turn out the light

Since your mother left things have been tough
some days are hard, some days are rough
But whatever's wrong can't be so bad
that you can't tell me, I'm still your dad.

This poem is really half a story looking for the other half. Please feel free to write that other half, telling the other sides story

735 · Jul 2010

Rejoicing in real life

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Rejoicing in real life

As I lay back, on the garden swing
staring up at a cloudless sky
I realise just how good life is
and it makes me want to cry

Not tears of sadness for a change
but a mixture of joy and guilt
For I have so much more than others
around me in this life I've built

True I may not love my home
and would prefer elsewhere instead
but at least I have the shelter
of four walls and roof o'er my head

And I may not have much money
but the cupboards are never bare
and now and then I get the chance
for a treat just here and there

Its the guilt and shame of self pity
that first turns tears on
I have nothing to complain about
and wallowing was wrong

But the striking realisation
of just how rich my life can be
if I let myself be grateful
for all that's inside me.

I have eye's that see and a heart that beats
ear's that hear and legs that walk
Arms to hold my loved ones
lips with which to kiss and talk

But most of all I have the soul
of a poet, true and strong
and the sense to let my pride admit
when sometimes I get it wrong.

So forgive my indiscretion
my depression and my blues
but I guess to appreciate the win
we sometimes have to lose.

733 · Aug 2010

Fragments

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Fragments

Fragments of you surround me
in everything I do
sometimes its like you never left
despite the pain that I went through

I see you in my coffee cup
sometimes in the way it's sat
whenever you'd bring me a drink
you'd put it down there, just like that

Sometimes I catch a scent
passing on the breeze
and it takes me back to another time
in a forest amongst the trees

I passed down by the river
to that place where we'd sneak a smoke
and it all came flooding back to me
and the dam well **** near broke

It seems all of these fragments
serve to pierce me at will
to make sure I dont forget you
though I doubt I ever will

So why do all these memories
bring me not joy but pain
is their purpose to remind me
to let no one in again?

731 · Jun 2010

We cannot eat money

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

We cannot eat money

Will our money keep us warm
when we no longer see the sun
Will our money keep us full
when all the fish have gone

Will our money quench our thirst
when our water is all spoiled
It's more convenient to **** ourselves
when once we would have toiled

We want everything now or yesterday
and always for a penny less
But the price will be paid in other ways
it's a truth we must confess

730 · Mar 2010

Senryu #1

A Thomas Hawkins Mar 2010

Senryu #1

An empty scroll
Quill inscribing words
Poetry is born

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

729 · Apr 2010

Drowning

A Thomas Hawkins Apr 2010

Drowning

There's a grey dampness that surrounds my life,
like a cold and grey fall day.
When in every direction misery lies,
no more than a footstep away.

Like the mist and fog, the clouds of my life,
roll in with the rising tide,
and a wave of despair comes crashing in,
and washes me over the side.

I know that the sun is there somewhere,
though its been a while since I've seen,
its bright golden glow in the morning,
or felt its warmth on my skin.

Im scared that there is a time up ahead,
when I'll swim to the surface for air,
and finally break free of depression,
to find that there's nobody there.

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

729 · Aug 2010

In need of a title

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

In need of a title

Soul searching
a popular past time
amongst those people here
with a penchant for a rhyme

Mistake making
we do lots of that too
if we didn't have experience
what would we have to share with you

Heart ache
another common thread
Sometimes broken and abused
sometimes ignored and left for dead

Good humour
perhaps a shield, perhaps a sword
sometimes deflecting true emotions
with a deftly wielded word

Compassion
it seems we have it by the score
and we share it with our readers
that's what poetry is for.

727 · Sep 2010

The meaning of money

A Thomas Hawkins Sep 2010

The meaning of money

I've never been one for the money
never have been, never will
enough to get by is fine by me
while others pursue their fill

It's not that I lack ambition
although some might disagree
It's purely that financial gain
is not whats important to me

Sure money can help you buy stuff
typically stuff you that don't need
Just to end up trapped by the things that you own
prisoner to the product of greed

I'm no more obsessed with fashion
than I am with the money it costs
I've seen too many people wrapped up in a badge
that they themselves become lost

Jeans and a t-shirt are just as much clothes
as a designer suit and tie
And when you look around
at the folks in the ground
who knows in what clothes they lie

I'm not saying I don't wanna be rich
just rich in a way which matters
If you asked me to choose between money and love
I'd always be taking the latter

727 · Jul 2010

Home

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Home

As I sit upon the porch swing
and the sun does warm my bones
my mind begins to wander
to the places I've called home

From North America to Asia
and countries in between
so many different cultures
and wonders have I seen

People I wish I'd known longer
others I'd wish to leave behind
Some in which I lost so much of me
others with purpose yet to find

I know I will not stay here
but for now I guess will do
as I sit upon the porch swing
waiting to build a home with you

726 · May 2010

Colours of morning - Haibun

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

Colours of morning - Haibun

I lie awake each morning
looking up at the tiles on my ceiling
count them for a little while before losing count and moving on to something else
the dim light through the window tells me not to rush
rain awaits or at best grey skies full of nothing good

Dawn colours my room
Its hue a clue to the day
That awaits outside

slowly I stretch, already sad at the lack of sunshine.
Wishing that today, like yesterday I awoke to an orange glow within my room.
On those days I skip the count, stretch, rub my eyes, slip on my robe and greet the day with a hearty hello and firm handshake.
Today I skulk off to the shower, head down, wishing it was yesterday.

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

723 · Jul 2010

The poets pain

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

The poets pain

I see just a hint of inspiration hanging there
Tantalizing me beyond despair
a vision in the fog
could be a prince, could be a frog
Have I the curiosity to care?

For I'm not sure a poets life's for me
Full of pain, angst and constant agony
Paint my heart upon my sleeve
for the tales that I weave
and publish for the whole world here to see

Could it be though that I suffer for my craft
or has my poetry become my own life raft
am I burned because I write
whether morning noon or night
or am I doomed to be consumed in its backdraft.

720 · May 2010

To my muse

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

To my muse

I write about religion
sometimes yours and sometimes mine
I write about the people
some still here some left behind

I write about my loves
some are living some are dead
I even write bout ***
on the floor and in the bed

And I write 'bout politicians
and the futility of war
and how their self serving actions
appall me to the core

I write about love
and I write about hate
the changing of the seasons
and how I'm always late

I write about ideas
that come into my head
what it feels like to be alive
and what if I were dead

I write about so many things
from different points of view
So for opening the floodgates
consider this write, a thank you.

719 · Apr 2010

Thank You

A Thomas Hawkins Apr 2010

Thank You

Why is it always easy,
to tell you about me,
to expose you to the private side,
that no one gets to see.

I share with you so freely,
things no one else will know.
Let you take me places deep inside,
I would otherwise not go.

I know that we have both been hurt,
and suffered the same pain.
Perhaps thats why I can talk to you,
you won't think I'm insane.

With your help and your support my friend,
that chapter is now closed.
And not once did I feel vulnerable,
naked, or exposed.

And now I try to find the words,
express the gratitude you're due,
but nothing seems quite big enough,
for the thanks that I owe you.

Thank You
For Everything

719 · Jul 2010

Winter comes

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Winter comes

The last leaves succumb.
Floating like feathers of gold.
Inevitable.

719 · Aug 2010

Longing

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Longing

Close your eyes and feel my arms,
around you as you sleep.
Feel my breath upon your neck,
as I breathe you in so deep.

Don't let my kisses wake you,
as I place them on your cheek.
As my hands pull you close to me,
you find the honesty you seek.

Sleep in the warmth of passion,
and dream only of the truth.
Of the man who's soul you captured,
with the intensity of youth.

And as you wake and look around,
you will not see me nor will I hide.
For at present moments such as this,
only in dreams reside.

718 · Jul 2010

Got heart?

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Got heart?

Anyone need a heart?
Cos mine up for rent
It's not being used anyway
Thought I'd give it up for Lent

But then I figured what the heck
I'm sure there's someone who's in need
I'm not asking very much
Just got bills to pay and mouths to feed

But it comes with some conditions
precautions if you will
Be sure that when you give it back
at least its beating still

You shouldn't have to be too careful
its got tougher over time
Why should you risk breaking yours
you can always just break mine

It always seems to fix itself
eventually at least
But for now the vultures of my past
have had their final feast.

So come on folks, who wants a piece
oh didn't I explain
In the time it took to write this
it got broken once again.

****** thing, where's the duct tape...

717 · Sep 2010

For the best

A Thomas Hawkins Sep 2010

For the best

Please don’t tell me what I’m thinking
because no one ever gets it right
And don’t do what’s “for the best”
because it always feels like *****

Even if it’s in the long run
and even if it turns out true
at least I’d have the memories
of the time I spent with you

You see emotion’s like a scale
and how it balances decides
how you feel from day to day
and how you feel about your life

So when you do what’s “for the best”
you give the bad and skip the good
add a heap of never knowing
and it don’t balance like it should

We all get scared things won’t work out
but by doing what’s “for the best”
you guarantee a failure
avoiding chances of success

So next you get an idea
to do what’s “for the best”
take the time to find out both sides
and we might just pass the test

714 · Jun 2010

Night chills - Tanka

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

Night chills - Tanka

No matter how hot
No matter how much sun shines
Night time brings a chill
Lying there alone in bed
Without you to keep me warm

also submitted to http://tweetabletanka.com

713 · Aug 2010

Moonlit tryst

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Moonlit tryst

Two strangers meet in dreams most every night
nervously at first but now so right
They look into each others eyes
Sharing hows and whens and whys
Saving every precious moment fore their flight

Sometimes they sit together talk for hours
or else they just take time to smell the flowers
sometimes passions overcome
and their bodies become one
or they dance and sing and laugh in summer showers

But mostly all they do is simply "be"
because its all the time that they have currently
one day soon things they might change
depends on what can be arranged
and on that day I'll know exactly where we'll be

711 · Aug 2010

Over

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Over

Remember dancing in the dark
and sharing picnics in the park
telling stories by the lake
and doing things for doings sake

No plans were made, things just got done
and we enjoyed them, every one
But now those days are left behind
anothers arms you chose to find

and so i'm left to dance alone
and eat my take out in my home
the lake is dry the stories gone
the lights gone out where once they shone

And so another chapter starts
of shattered dreams and broken hearts
No plans now made, nothing to do
its all for one where once was two

710 · Jul 2010

Starring...

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Starring...

Did you ever read a poem
that you thought was about you
But you couldn't be really certain
yet so much of it rang true

Was there a line that caught your eye
something others wouldn't see
did you ***** your nose up,
twist your lips and think "nah, couldn't be!"

Or maybe there was a moment
hidden there in that verse
that grabbed your attention right away
and made you let out a curse

Of course we could all be mistaken
though our subconscious it may persist
But wouldn't such poems be clearer
if they came with a casting list?

710 · Apr 2010

Why poetry

A Thomas Hawkins Apr 2010

Why poetry

Of all the things that I could write,
why poetry do you think?"

Is not the answer obvious?
It's cheaper than a shrink!

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

710 · Jun 2010

Rod Stewart, you're wrong.

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

Rod Stewart, you're wrong.

The first cut is not the deepest,
it is merely the first.
Without doubt in my experience,
the last cut was the worst.

also posted and tweeted via http://tweetablepoems.com

709 · Aug 2010

In time

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

In time

If I can act like nothings wrong,
and somehow go about my day,
do you think in time,
all will be right,
and this pain will go away?

If can hold back all my tears
behind a dam thats out of reach
do you think in time
all will be right
before the dam is breached

If I can fool you with a smile
so that you don't feel so bad
do you think in time
you'll realise
I was the best you ever had

But am I really fooling you
or trying to fool myself
that perhaps in time
all will be right
and I'll one day leave this shelf

706 · Aug 2010

Is it really better?

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Is it really better?

I sometimes wonder what its like
to have never loved at all
to have missed those dizzy heights
means to miss the crushing fall

705 · May 2010

Where do you go?

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

Where do you go?

Why is it when I look for you
you're nowhere to be seen
I can't do this without you
do you know just what I mean?

And other times you're with me
even if I travel far
At home sat on the couch
or when I'm in my car

Where do you go when you're not here
Do you go and see another
Will I find out you have been with them
when they tell about their lover

When they share the secrets of their soul
in words only you would use.
Is that when I will find out
what happened to the muse.

703 · May 2010

Books of life

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

Books of life

If my life became a book,
how many pages would there be?
In the gallery of friends and loves,
how many faces would you see?

Would you recognize the chapter,
that covered me and you?
Would reading it bring happy back,
or turn your world blue?

Would there be revelations,
that helped you understand,
the choices that I made,
when I let go of your hand?

And the chapter covering regrets,
would you see your name in there?
Under "People that I truly miss,
those for whom I truly care".

Maybe you would read this book,
and maybe you would not.
Perhaps I'm a part of your life,
you already forgot.

If your life became a book,
how many pages would there be?
In the gallery of friends and loves,
would there a pic of me?

Would you include a chapter,
that covered you and me?
Would it bring a smile to my face
reading how it used to be?

Would there be an indication,
of just what my leaving meant,
would it make me regret me choice,
wish I'd acted different?

In the chapter on Love & Loss,
would my name appear there?
Perhaps under "Losers,
where they went I do not care."

I think that I would read this book,
not just for time to ****.
But because after so many years,
thought of you appear to me still.

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

703 · Jul 2010

The phone call - part II

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

The phone call - part II

He sits in his chair to quietly reflect
on how things went and tries not to expect
or get carried away with dreams in his head
so he gets up and goes to lay down in his bed

He closes his eyes and sees her still there
curled up under a blanket alone in the chair
The phone in her hand and smile on her face
he knows who she is so this must be her place

Her face lights right up, the calls going well
but how far will things go, its too early to tell
They talk about dreams and the things that they've done
and from out of nowhere "could she be the one?"

"Come on now slow down" he thinks to himself
"getting that far ahead is bad for your health
You know that she's great and pretty and smart
but lets just see where this goes put the brakes on your heart"

Somehow he pushes those thoughts to one side
and basks in the moment, the warmth felt inside
"You know it went well" he thinks with a smile
"meeting someone like this, well its sure been a while"

It's been a few years since he last opened the door
and there's been no one he'd liked to have knocked it before
and now here he is phone still in his hand
last incoming call from far cross the land

And as he lays back with a smile on his face
he sees her again on the phone at her place
She's saying goodbye and smiling still
will they speak again? He sure hopes they will.

702 · Aug 2010

Our mornings

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Our mornings

I close my eyes and picture what it would be like to wake up with you, and see the most serene things.

The perfect way to start the day

A thing that starts with stirring as we try and resist the natural action of actually waking up

Taking care to keep eyes closed we stretch

First one, then the other as our movements interfere with the perfect combination of bodies that has been our night

A hand moved

A whispered intention

A smile

Eyes still closed

Everything done by sense of touch

No alarm clocks

No ringing telephones

No sudden starts

Just two people greeting the day and each other in the most perfect way

702 · Jul 2010

The ache

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

The ache

This constant aching feeling
that lives inside of me
a sense of something missing
where contentment used to be

It's funny how I never
really noticed it before
but its started the same day
you got the cab from my front door

The time we spent together
was so fleeting yet intense
Be it weeks or days or months or years
It makes no difference

I just wanted you to be aware
of my pain since you went away
So you can understand the reason
why I'm counting every day

699 · Mar 2010

My Life

A Thomas Hawkins Mar 2010

My Life

Sometimes I sit and just reflect,
look back upon my life
And consider all the moments
as they pass before my eyes

People they have come and gone
but some have stuck around
And they're the ones I'll treasure most
'til I am in the ground

Lessons they have taught me
each and every one
And for them I am grateful
I love them every one

I have friends that I remember
and friends I now forget
Experiences both good and bad
but none that I regret

For all the things that I have done
have brought me this place
Where I sit now and look back
at how I ran the race

At times I've looked out on the world
from a less than happy place
I have loved and I have lived
You can see it in my face

So thank you all to everyone
who's path my life has crossed
You became part of my journey
And stopped me getting lost

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

698 · Jul 2010

Love & Loss

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Love & Loss

Know love, know loss
No love, no loss.

695 · Jun 2010

Monotony - Tanka

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

Monotony - Tanka

Driving home from work
Leaving boredom far behind
My home lies empty
Boredom waits ahead of me
Only scenery changes

693 · Sep 2010

Plot 7a

A Thomas Hawkins Sep 2010

Plot 7a

Who lies beneath this faded stone
That once this place they did call home

This marker now thats all remains
Of a spirit free of earthly chains

Alas we know not who you are
and if you came from near or far

Nothing to say how long your life
Somebody's husband, child or wife

Did you suffer much, was death release?
All we do is pray you rest in peace

691 · Aug 2010

Cries for help?

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Cries for help?

Do tragic poems fill a selfish need
a desire to show others how we bleed
By showing that we're weak
is it martyrdom we seek
Do tragic poems fill a selfish need

Do poems of lost love serve a purpose
to remind of the past that deeply hurt us
Wearing hearts upon our sleeves
so publicly we grieve
Do poems of lost love serve a purpose

And what about the poems we don't write
of the things that really keep us up at night
About the pain that is too real
when we can't express just how we feel
The poets undisclosed internal fight

689 · Aug 2010

Thank you for you

A Thomas Hawkins Aug 2010

Thank you for you

Did you know that you inspire me
in so many things I write
from the perfect way to start the day
to how to spend each night

The tales of hope and triumph
are all based on you my friend
For the way you handle things in life
that would have me at wits end

I know sometimes it gets too much
and you think that you are failing
just remember calmness comes and goes
to the sea on which you're sailing

And even in the biggest storm
you're never on your own
any time of night or day
just please pick up the phone

So I wanted to say thank you
for all you've given me
the hope, the dreams, the poetry
that you have made me see.

689 · Jul 2010

Man in the mirror

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Man in the mirror

What does the guy in the mirror see
when he's looking back at me?

Does he have the same questions,
about who I used to be.

Does he know where the grey comes from
or the crows feet on my eyes

Does he see his own reflection
and wonder what inside

Does he wonder where the boy went
so confident and sure

Does he know when this old man showed up
who knows nothing anymore

Does he see the honesty that lives behind my eyes
Does he feel my pain, can he hear my sighs

Each day he looks me in the eye
and sees right to my soul
But holds for me no answers
on why life takes such a toll

688 · May 2010

Guilt

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

Guilt

As darkness falls I lay in bed
I see you, there you are.
T'was not that many weeks ago
I saw you walking to your car.

Memories of that awful night
replay inside my head
The midnight knock upon my door
to tell me you were dead

And as the tears flow down my cheeks
and I hate that I'm alive
Despite everything we have been told
I chose to drink and drive

I don't know why I didn't stop
I knew it was too late
I figured I could make it home
then get my story straight

I'd been home barely minutes
when they knocked upon my door
as guilt and grief consumed me
I collapsed upon the floor

I know that nothing I can do
can ever make it right
I would gladly sacrifice myself
to undo that fateful night

But now I lie in purgatory
as the cell door it gets slammed
the consequences of my actions
mean I am forever ******

For even when I leave this place
and I'm free from prison walls
I have to live with what I did
and I'm not sure I have the *****

So if I choose that I should die
don't let any tears fall
but make my death a lesson
a lesson to you all

Think twice before you have that drink
Thrice before you get your keys
You don't want be the one to bring
a parents,
childs,
or spouses life,
crashing to its knees.

I seem to have a thing for writing pieces from unexpected points of view at the moment.

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

688 · Apr 2010

Legacy

A Thomas Hawkins Apr 2010

Legacy

When I am gone, what thoughts of me
will pass 'mongst those left behind
Will I even be remembered
or was everyone 'round me blind

Will the words I have written
fall on deaf eyes and be forever lost
Or will I have connected with someone
with my tales of winter and frost

Or perhaps my name will be recalled
for a story of love gone awry
Did my words touch someone so deeply
that a tear welled up in their eye.

I write about things that go through my head
some based on me and some not
some moments in life I remember
some I wish I'd already forgot

But I also write words of pure fiction
make up stories to balance the tone
so no matter how life makes you feel
you will know you are never alone

Honestly though it matters not
if I live on in your hearts or your minds
as long as someone finds comfort
in the words I leave behind

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

686 · Jun 2010

Our secret

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

Our secret

It's funny how your poetry
has the power to make me blush
it's like our little secret
and it gives me quite a rush

You think anyone has figured out
that poem is 'bout me?
I'd like for everyone to know
just how lucky life can be

I wonder if this poem
(I'm curious I'll confess)
will start a little treasure hunt
for my hidden poetess.

686 · Jul 2010

Is this love

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

Is this love

Is this love?
Is that the source of all this pain
Outside the sun is shining
but inside it feels like rain.

Is this love?
The rising pulse and creeping smile
When my phone rings and I know its you
and we've not spoken for a while

Is this love?
Is that the source of all my doubt
The constant longing to be with you
while being forced to be without

Is this love?
Falling asleep while on the phone
but waking up with a smile
knowing somehow I'm not alone

Is this love?
Feeling that feeling so alive
That one comes when were together
and when apart does not survive

Perhaps it is
Perhaps all of this is love
In which case the answer's not yes or no
but all of the above

684 · May 2010

The end of Autumn - Haibun

A Thomas Hawkins May 2010

The end of Autumn - Haibun

As I turn my collar to the wind for the first time this year I wonder how much of fall is left. And standing there alone at the shore, the river like glass, I look down to see reflected perfectly, the signs of change. Winters arrival written in the sky to the west.

A pinky grey sky
Winter snowfall beckons me
Hurry home to warmth

A fire's orange lights the room as snow begins to fall. Sat in the sanctuary of home, watching flakes dance on the wind before settling to earth. The mournful moan of the wind punctuated by the snap and pop of logs on the fire. As we fall into winter, this becomes my lullaby.

683 · Jul 2010

It doesn't have to be black and white

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

It doesn't have to be black and white

I know you're worried bout your family name
and I understand I do
But will the name give consolation
to a life lived not for you?

Will they thank you for your misery
and the sacrifice you make
Will the name still give you comfort
when at night you lie awake

I never planned for this happen
truth is it took my by surprise
And now my love I'm petrified
that no more I'll see your eyes

For they will look up at another
someone else will you call Dear
all the time remembering
the days that we spent here

Do not tell me if you love me
or if your hearts like mine, unlocked
Simply come down to the harbour
board the steamer where she's docked

She sails upon the evening tide
gangways up at seven
If your hearts to run away with mine
come to cabin two eleven

And if duty is to keep you here
and you choose to play a part
remember there's always a place
for you inside my heart.

683 · Jul 2010

The phone call - part I

A Thomas Hawkins Jul 2010

The phone call - part I

She picked up the phone and cleared her throat
It was time to get this done
As she was punching in his number
The thought flashed past, is he the one?

And it started ringing
two thousand miles away
too late to turn back now
just what's he gonna say

Then a voice upon the other end
said "Hey there, how are you"
and she swallowed hard and cleared her throat
its just a thing she likes to do

The more they spoke the less she cared
about all her fears and doubts
They talked about most everything
life's ups and downs and ins and outs

And by the end her nerves had passed
her throat no longer dry
She hung up the phone with a smile on her face
after they had said goodbye

So thats one step closer taken
it was great and lots of fun
and now and then that thought comes back
"you think he could be the one?"

But what to do and where to go
from here is on her mind
To settle for something less
or take a risk and leave less behind

683 · Mar 2010

Help

A Thomas Hawkins Mar 2010

Help

I am a person torn in two
by what his life should be
a constant contradiction
a battle inside me

I am a person who is scared
of being all he can
the fear of success
grips this humble man

I am a person who needs help
advice on what to do
and that is why I write this verse
to ask for help from you

©A Thomas Hawkins 2010
http://poetryinprogress.com

The Community Poetry Project
The creation of a handwritten poetry compilation featuring poems from poets around the world. For full details visit http://cheaperthantherapy.net

682 · Jun 2010

Circle back to home

A Thomas Hawkins Jun 2010

Circle back to home

Remember not so long ago
when empires ruled the world
and thoughts of independence
led to new flags being unfurled

To be ruled by leaders far away
just simply wouldn't do
Leaders should be from the new world
if we're to make this new world new

And here we are two centuries on
after all that human cost
trying to rule the world
is the irony all lost

We talk of global government
common cash and world police
the very things we fought against
are now a way to peace?

But I guess things must look different
when you look down from the top
Lets remember our own history
and we'll know why they don't stop

Give power back to people
let each man choose his way
or just take the time to listen
to what he has to say

You'll see we put our homes first
our family and friends
and only when we've got that right
do we then start to extend

We don't bail out the millionaire
so he can keep his pool
and then turn round and tell our kids
there's no money left for school

681 · Mar 2010

Winter

A Thomas Hawkins Mar 2010

Winter

As winter wraps our home once more,
and blankets it with snow.
I plead with you to stay a while,
do you really have to go.

I’m sure that we could work things out,
our problems can be solved.
It makes no sense for you to leave,
walk off into the cold .

But as you leave and don’t look back,
the tears fill my eyes.
And the icy cold of winter,
starts to come inside.

This house is no longer a home,
all life and warmth have gone.
And so I too decide to leave,
and start elsewhere alone.