Reaching elevator doors
heart crashing to standstill
breath ripped from lips
cold twisting, poison heat

no no no no no scream your ears
pounding the walls, ground floor
down down down shout your hands
clattering earthquake on steel

your eyes swimming in disbelief
ground floor get to ground floor
slow descent watches free fall
where is the ground, tell me please

they are not gone doors opening
are you okay stranger you've terrified
run run get out get out they are not
gone gone gone echo rattles your skull

panic tearing throat from neck
you could have done more say walls
burst outside cars screaming like mother
lost child gone gone gone no no no

suffocating outside too no escape
not today no no no there is no air
black go lights you've hit your head
it echoes gone gone gone gone gone

gone gone gone gone gone

Touch your earlobes
let your toes turn to ice
think of ships that sink
and aspirations that
sail into hurricanes.
River down 45th
swim like a taxi
up for air, up for air
flowing between here, there
everywhere, everywhere
fishing for metaphors
catch one, it’s seaweed
cook it up anyway,
you’re starving.
A tower with hands
touching your ears,
losing your feet
in the sea.

I have to
admit this
while I can

I will look
for you in
everyone.

We spent all our free time alone
and so our time together cost us.

And all of a sudden
spring awoke and

my sleep faded
from the icy teeth of winter

to the cool, orange glow
of a beginning.

You must tire of waiting in dreams
for imagined colours to meet you
sleeping through monochrome alarms
with sprites that don't make morning

when you wake to black and fade to grey
and arms of temptation lull you back
you recite prayers to keep you awake
just as exhausted as the day you missed

red wishes you a way to wake to colour
the greens and blues that wait for you
day misses you as much as you miss her
so must you keep hiding in night lights?

You can just have me
take whatever is left.

I keep trying to **** myself
and I keep not dying* you tell me

do you have any idea how frustrating
this is you ask but expect no answer

I know I say what else can I offer
I don't know how to do this

but I don't want you to go I don't
*I can't stand to let hospital flowers die.

You struck me down
I brought you up
You broke my heart
You stupid ****
My ****** body
Lay by your side
A knife in hand
You laugh with pride
On my hands and knees
I crawl back to you
With bleeding wrists
I whisper, "I love you too"
There's no way out
Of this hell I'm in
Slaughter me now
Consume my sin
You didn't care
About me now or then
So I'm done with you
I won't come back again.