up and down
forever falling

peaks and valleys
never reaching

crests and waves
always breaking

there are night where i cling to nothing
hoping it will bring comfort
to the absence in my chest

there are days where i smile robotically
hoping no one will notice
i’m convincing myself to be happy

there are nights that i lie awake
hoping the dim light of my phone
will exhaust me enough to sleep

there are days that i wander aimlessly
hoping i find a purpose
in the passing activities of time

A mirror, a duplicate
The image of myself preserved inside
My minds eye, as I wonder
If what I see is what is visible
Not two halves but two forms
The truth, or is it only perceived
As an upheld expectation
Lifted higher than the sun
Brought close to my chest

The words are glued to the inside of my mouth
My lips are sealed
My jaw is locked
I cannot force my tongue to move

My thoughts rage inside my mind
Pushing against my mouth
Fear keeps them locked away
I cannot voice what I wish I could

It is a colossal effort to pry my lips apart
To force my jaw open
To lift my tongue
I cannot get the words to form

I breathe out hoping the words will follow
Nothing but air escapes, silent
I cannot get them out
The words are glued to the inside of my mouth

the sun
bees, flowers
love, happiness
shining, brilliant, dazzling spotlight


bright, startling, overpowering
it does not grace me
it burns, a mockery of emotion