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You promised
f o r e v e r ,




                                 *Your definition of              
                                   forever was a lot
                                   shorter than mine.
Can I melt into your bones
and become part of you?

Let me be the sound of your heartbeat,
or the blood pumping in your veins.

I'll be the air in your lungs,
the color in your eyes,
the lines in your palms.

Let me be the parts of you
that make you so beautiful to me.
perhaps i make
too many metaphors
about the ocean.

but i can't help
but compare you to a wave,

for each time i've almost got you,
you recede back to whence you came,

into the tide.

(a.m.)
late night thoughts...
i. before

everything about her was light,
soft,
inviting.
her voice was gentle,
her eyes calm.
she walked
as if she was floating,
and her lips
were always curved
into a sweet smile.
she often wondered
how anything could go wrong.

ii. after**

everything about her was dark,
broken,
toxic.
her voice was venomous,
her eyes piercing.
she walked
as if she'd had a bit too much to drink
and her lips
were always curved
into a sour scowl.
she often wondered
how she lost herself.

(a.m.)
so i wrote this a few days ago, and i wanted to show how one experience or one event can change someone drastically. the first part was inspired by a waitress that i met in Montreal. weird, i know.
the way that alcohol
f  l  o  o  d  e  d
her veins
was almost like
the way in which
stars
flood a night sky.

and her eyes,
were black holes:
empty
and dark.

she left all her cares behind
a long time ago,
on a shelf
in a jar,
sitting right next to two others, labeled
"happiness"
and
"trust."

you might ask what happened to her love.

she left that with me,
and said,
"do with it what you wish,"
for she hadn't the trust
to expect me to keep it safe,
nor the happiness
to keep it for herself.

i never saw her again after that,
but i still have her love.

and to this day,
here it sits.

on a shelf,
in a jar,
right next to two others, labeled
"memories of you"
and
"hope for the future."

though i must say,
each of these jars
is growing emptier
each day.

(a.m.)
okay so i don't really know what inspired me to write this so yeah it's really random but i kinda like it.
i can't help but laugh at the fact
that you're wasting your life away
on something so
very terribly evanescent.

(a.m.)
some people focus so much on love and put so much energy towards it. maybe it's just me, but is it really worth it?
stop ruining love by trying to make it last forever.
Enjoy it while you have it.
I find that when I come here I feel at home or peaceful. I don't feel judged for the words I must type out on a page for they are more than just words to me.  
My social anxiety is not a handicap here and for that, I rejoice!
When I come here, I can lose my self in fine literature distracting me from
every thing that makes me want to end this thing called life.
"Rest in peace"
      my love
in my heart....
You are dead and that's it....
game over
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