I am the thinnest slice of pizza
A warm beer
A scratched DVD
A lukewarm shower

A last resort

I'm what one settles for when all other options have been exhausted
And what is disposed of the moment something better presents itself

I would wish
you here,

here as you were;
the eyes large

and deep
as oceans.

I would
have you

to hold,
back from

the dead,
not some place else,

but here instead.
I would

that you would
speak again,

soft, deep
and with that

hint of joy,
my lost son,

my grown man -
boy.

Son, for you
I always think with my heart
Not with my brain

Darkness crossed the road
Held out his arms for me to hold
I jumped in and cried "You're my only friend"
When will this end?

We saw the light
Fled astray
"We can't go there" the darkness said
Stay away.

I can't see where I am going
I'm not positive of where I have been
Everything I have ever done, has been labeled as one word
Sin.

I can find a friend in you
Just show me the way
Even in the darkness
I will not pray.

"Where is everyone you need them"? I asked
"They were never really there"
Darkness told me the truth
I don't need you.

Searching for the truth
the answer to my soul
what kind of man am I
when life takes it's toll?
I see in the distance
that my life hasn't been my life
always seeking pleasure
something to cure the pain inside
I'm not comfortable in my own skin
wondering who to please this time around
how much I want this to be the end
the water is too deep, I might drown
Living with the heartache
the pain inside won't cease
wondering what's at stake
Living with this disease
The darkness will not let go of me
and let me live my life
Hell is the only thing I can see
killing everything good from the inside