when does
an internal rebellion
become
an external one?

when does
bravery
overcome
fear?

when does
the truth of my heart
decide
the words in my mouth?

can you tell me why
this life is worth living
without you?

my stomach
can barely tolerate
going through the motions

am i
tumbling
into another life?

what
a poem
shall do
is
undress
herself
and
dance in
the
sweet
moonlight of truth

No one is there for me
No one is there to see
No one has my soul's door key
No one knows who I can really be

When you want to just end it all
all of it
at the same time

end time
end the world
end yourself

but all I can do
is slow everything down

slow my heart
slow my breathing
slow my thoughts

a breath and a half in
we have forgotten the words
possibly because
they were all the right ones

It is
forgetting what it is like
to hold snow
cold biting
fingers numb
packed down in your hands

a sensation left behind
thrown out by the mind
yet the feeling
lingers

the
mind
is
a sea of ghost windmills
and
blue castles
that
is
my
final journey quest