You were awake
when I entered,

you're
           telling
                      me
                            now
­you've been asleep
                                 this
                                       whole
                                                  time?

Pe­rfect -- because I have, too

Now, you can release me,
                                             I'll
                                                 release
                                                         ­    you

I am standing
on the edge
the void is within
my reach
my mind says
jump
but my body
just freezes

I wonder
what it's like
to live life
til the last minute
the last centimeter
will I
regret it?

When I'm standing
on the edge
the world is silent
it's empty
as if it's watching,
waiting for me
to jump
to stay
but it's too late
because
I
am
already
falling

Basically
I'm the
disease

your
poor heart
could not

pump,
process,
or purify

the
tasteless
something
in the water

waste drains
exit into your water

Put you in duress,
the deviant disaster,
the master depravity,
the agender **** toy,
smiling sodomite

offered only carnal
distress for your innocence,
trash for your
sacred naivete


(but I'm not wrong . am i // am i .)

If only I had a chance.
To do something meaningful.
To save a life
Or inspire greatness.

But I'm not that kind of person.

I'm not ambitious enough
To do something meaningful.
To make a difference.
To have the world remember
Not me, but what I did.

I'm not helpful enough
To save a life.
The world is too full anyway.
I'd never make enough sense
To even save anyone.

I'm not good enough
To inspire greatness.
I'm not a good person.
And I hate public view
So I don't think about standing up.

I'm not that person.

I haven't been since lower school.
When I still dreamed big.
When I still loved wonder.
When I was afraid of storms
And the boogeyman lived close by.

That person no longer exists.
If only I could go back
To make sure that person lived.
But by doing that
I'd erase me. And everything I am.