Inside my armor I feel
the popping and twisting of bones
grinding against old cartilage,
Built up from prolonged neglect of pressure.
I can’t really decide if it is pain or pleasure.
Last time we met before you slammed the door in my face,
you told me while pushing me against the kitchen wall:
- Lie to yourself as much as your heart can take,
but never ever lie to me.

I am once more
the alien bird,
stuck in a cuckoo's nest.
Wings clipped,
belly filled with responsibilities.
Seeing the sky,
but unable to take flight.

Can I reinvent myself one more time?
Possibly. I am a believer of possibilities.
Shall I rise as the phoenix,
from the ashes of past choices?
Take the sky on wings
flaming with new decisions.
Shall I choose,
rebirth as empress of the sun?
Or will fate always decide my destiny,
to be the queen of rain?

I wanted infinite recognition.
The kind of power that is unquestioned.
Fused by desires running wild, uncontrollable and mad with jelousy.
I needed to see what havoc could be created by mere existence, and to choose by whim who to grant toxic grace of body, passion and darkness.
Can it all end in a final night of no survivors?
A patchwork design of scars and mutilation?
My question still remains.
Is there a hero to resurrect an angel monster born?
Turning a lesser god into salvaged humanity?

Even though I know,
that freedom comes with a price.
It is still freedom.

From you I only ask for two things.
To be the first to touch your heart and the last to hold it.

His graceful fingers softly brushed
over my thigh in a languid stroke,
sending a parade of shivers along. 
Slanting him a sideways glance, 
meeting blue sky experience
embedded in a roadmap of life weariness.
With a crooked smile and a raised
eyebrow he simply stated;
-Had we been born in the same era
I’d make **** sure these legs 
would never walk out on me.

The imprint of his hand stayed 
as a melancholic afterthought
long after I had wrapped up
the meeting and left for the airport.
Unfortunately the flight 
did not include time travel,
which has been a top priority
on my wish-list lately...