I threw myself out in the pond
in an act of play
and didn’t realize
until I caught a whale
that I had embraced the ocean.

I haven't really eaten in days,
but I've tasted manna from heaven.
Dancing under overcast stars,
drinking the essence of oblivion.
I haven't really tried to be sensible,
or act the reasonable way of society.
But people don't seem to care anyway.
They hunger for a smile, a touch that transfer only...
Simplicity
Unregarded affection
Payless affinity.
And so,
I live
Still roaming the treasures of life,
spending the few grains of hope
left inside me.
To find residues of love
that I might steal
From you
and you...

Hapless people
you are but one brief moment away
from swallowing the answer
of love.

I've kissed so many strangers lately,
to find you.
But the spell you've put on me,
denies them all.

Blissful ignorance,
Dance baby dance.
Beat the pulse and lose your breath.
Wrapping my legs around native strangers.
Live it, feel it but never ever believe it.
Cristal rivers poured over my *******.
Lick it off, intoxicating truths confess.
Baoli wants all of you,
***, drugs and emptied pockets.
Pay those ghosts away in magnum bottles.
We've earned every laugh,
performed on every lonely road.
Save me no tomorrows,
tonight is all there is.
My heart is a caged blackbird,
contained in a bottle of Belver Bear.
Rohypnotic depletion of the mind,
a sleep that never dreams.
Shake awake with electronic groove.
No dark knight around to haunt me.
No maker of hope that lies.
Just a soul constrained in puppet moves.
I'm gonna do all that's bad,
To make everything back to good...

I gate the desires
like veins does blood
As my temptress
bolds my love

Cheeks talk white
Tongues see thin
I kiss the dreams
And plush my sin

The seven truths
A bridge to burn
I kiss your soil
I parch your fern

I steal your breath
Amp your light
I'm shadow between
Silk and night

I am the art
Within your book
I am the castle
To your rook

The calyx face
So bee Devine
I make honey
One kiss a time

It's finally spring my love.
The false promise of renewal,
hope and dreams
that survived the stark of winter war.
And once again like a zillion times before,
my mind lingers on you - my bedraggled knight.
Still reminiscing the insincere
but oh so seductive cooing
of your words whispered in desperate passion.
But every time the timbre
of that poetic song dig into
the marrow of my withering bones,
the ruthless but absolutely honest voice of it all
- my taunting, yet ever loyal sidekick - distrust
kicks back and tell me
in the clearest chime of unwedding bells,
that it was never real.
No love for real,
how hard I wanted to believe.
Believe
my heart's quest always.
Pounded down by the utmost power of knowing.
Taking down shimmering gates of roses
and mashing them all into
a weeping horrified pile of compost.
Where no new flowers will ever grow.
Fodder for black snails and spiders
to feast upon, in eager anticipation
to reach deep down, to devour
the terrified, bleeding heart
that’s buried in its rubble.
And the iron armor
cladding my spiritual self
builds stronger every day.
Polished and unbuckled.
Continuously fortifying or imprisoning me.
I move in the world effortlessly,
not one soul seeing
the tons of heavy metal
that weighs down my skinless flesh.
Bedraggled knight,
who do not know
that he still hold my fortress - my heart.
And with just one wink of the white flag
would take it all down in a rumble of tears.

Lately,
my words have hit the trash can
rather than decorating
the wall of fame.
My mind is on a constant frown,
deeply obsessed with you.
I wanted your life to be perfect,
not flawed with worries
about tomorrow.
I wanted you to reach the height
of unlimited potential.
But lately, I’ve been the one
delaying your deliverance,
creating treason and misery.
Making you less
than you were before.
Lately...
...my words tainted your soul
with disappointment.
Unmade your dreams
and disrupted the prosperity
of your wants.
Young titan - no longer mine,
Letting you go,
unchaining your heart
making you soar...

Equates...
unsurmountable  measures of pain...
...and alcohol.

Diary confessions