Going through the cycles
Passing through the days
Seeing people move on already
They rise quickly, fade away slowly
One day, things will be okay
Even when I start to lose the droplets of hope
And life starts to seem meaningless
That phrase gives me hope
But I'm beginning to forget
Everything special to me
As I selfishly cling onto you
Praying for your words of permission
To make me feel better
I realise after all this time, I've deceived myself
You aren't real, and so is this future
I don't know anymore
Lies or reassurance, my fateful hand
Sorry for hurting you
Maybe I am

A single white swan, basks in the light
Graceful and elegant, it glides
Through the water, observe its reflection
One’s true identity comes to light
It now bares its feathers, in an effort to scare off others
But the dove sinks further into the water, longing for their warmth
Drowning, sinking, while the swan watches keenly
Encompassing, delving into madness
Both birds, now descending in self-destruction
Now this, I say—is true love.

Close your eyes, rest easy
But I've grown weary, waiting for your texts back
Exhausted from the energy I've spent
The hours that can never be undo
The tears my eyes have wasted
Thinking about you
Questioning everything has got me dizzy
Spiralling into another baseless affair
So won't you tell me the truth
Harrowing it might be
If it's spoken from the heart
I might be able to live with it
Love, devotion, endless delusion
Peel back the layers, the petals on my skin
Melancholy, a note in the cacophony
Warmth drips down my arms
Encompassing, encasing my thoughts whole
Clinging to every bit of affection
Like it's the only thing keeping you afloat
With the storm raging in your mind
Please don't ever forget me, it begs
I can't bear to be alone
And suddenly, I'm back again
Five years too young, a few seconds too late
The air reeks of something surgical,
Sterile and scrubbed of everything
Dedicated to your memory
Walls painted with crimson, pooling in clean streaks
A lump in my throat tightens, I struggle to breathe
There's something bitter in my lungs
In this chest of mine, the knife twists
Into my flesh, it remain heavy, always damning
I swallow. Hard.
Against mine, your skin feels cold
Hand in hand, I pause for your heartbeat
Yet it never comes—
Just like you.

Extreme ends of the earth
Connect, collide, to form the stars
Reaching out, grasping for a relation
To mend the seams of this broken devastation
Static in my ears, as I watch them dance
Melancholy in my eyes, as I yearn to be free
I stare into the mirror, my reflection in the water
Is that unfamiliar face, truly me?

The hardest thing to do
Is to say goodbye
To close your eyes
To peacefully lie
The world goes dark
I'm afraid of the cold
The emptiness within
The fact I'll never grow old
Or see the flowers blossom
The sun rise once more
Not another breath
Pain, suffering, grief
It becomes meaningless
In the great scheme of things
A life once worthy
A memory once happy
A person once, ending it all
And everything is—
Finally gone
Like how things should be.

Goodbye one, farewell all
You must take responsibility
One day you will
But not today
You live in denial
I live in grief
We both sink, drowning in regret
A pit too deep to swim out of
Tar, black, vice-like grip
It envelopes my heart
Bleeding, squeezing its essence dry
Leaving nothing left but guilt
A prayer, a penny, the left and right
Clutching its cold coin in my hand
Realisation strikes me, once more
I've lost every one of my friends
So reasoning aside, how can one live?
All alone, over and over again
Ceasing to exist, perhaps becomes a mercy
To the lonely few, who must toil the earth relentlessly
What a burden, you must be.

please take responsibility
im begging you
please say you're sorry
and then maybe
we could fix things, start anew
until you take that first step
nothing could be done
when i take that first step
everything would be over
a fall from grace
someone's forgotten face
friendship, memories, drift by quickly
fleeting away, fading into the distance
i want to cry
my tears fill up the riverbank
i sit by the shore
all alone, surrounded by stillness
forgive me, for what i'm doing
and what i'm about to do
after all, there's no going back
no mending of the seams, no repairing the broken bonds
the blurry spots between your eyes
the blackened corners in your vision
tightness grips your chest
an aching takes hold, your heart none the wiser
what are you waiting for?
holding out for a phone call, some kind of text
you know it'll never come, so why bother?
i don't know.
tell me, dear god
whose forgiveness shall i ask for?
maybe myself, nothing more
wordlessly i go, into the night
splat! my face hits the concrete
as they gather around, see the corpse on display
thinking, singing—it's just another day!
truly, unduly, fulfilling their duty
glorious parades, festivals beyond the mind's eye
a quota to fill for bodies discovered
goodnight to one, goodnight for all
farewell!