spider   burned   light   years   leave   will   fully   killed   god   drug   people   hate   love   fire   stray   freeze   die   opiate   veins   meth   smoking   drinking   addicted   function   tired   cut   finally   changed   scarred   life   junkie   clean   normal   scars   forever   day   evening   sat   reading   book   yellow   lamp   small   soft   room   white   eggshell   walls   disgusting   crawling   corner   wall   existence   offended   bed   great   arthritic   pain   effort   kill   broomstick   pondered   black   thought   ugly   gossamer   legs