I’m crazy enough to like you
Even though you hate me
Hate is a strong word
Like the love I feel inside me

I try to stop the feeling
But it comes back stronger
I just want it to stop
I don't want it any longer

I know my feelings are a burden to you
So I try to hide it
This one sided love will stay as is
Because you can’t commit

You know when you spill water and get upset only to hear someone say, “it's just water!”
It doesn't matter, water, pineapple juice, or milk I'm still soaked and need to change
The fact that what I spilled happened to be water doesnt make me less clumsy
It doesn't make my fingers less sweaty
It doesn't make it okay
“It's just water” they say
I’d be just as clumsy holding milk in my hand
What would you say if I spilt milk?
But if I spilt water, it's okay
If shes my daughter, it's okay


This isn't about spilt milk

I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.
My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay ***, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the color you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.
But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.

do you ever tell your parent that what if you can't do it and all they say is "I know you will". No mum. What if I can't ?  what if I disappointed you? what about my guilt? where do I keep this feeling? why is it so heavy? what if i fail? what then? will you still think of me as your brightest kid? will you still use me as an example for my siblings? will i be an example? what if i couldn't be that intelligent always making you proud kid? what if i fail mum? why is this feeling so heavy? where do I keep it mum? What if i fail?

a little humor to make you smile !

A real cup of coffee feels nice on the tongue
it has a pleasant mouthfeel and it is warm
Some think dung coffee lists high on the rung
while others believe it contains fungi-form

A teenage diary with a fountain pen nib  
quiet often it holds emotions real true
Melodramatic entries sometimes its a fib  
oh it comes easy when your feeling blue !

A serious person has two brows knitted
thinking about things between the ears
A stand up comedian often quick witted
peak-brows it as he jokes & draws near.

Sputters in the thick of night
setting the pathway ablaze!  
Flavors of foretimes return
bittersweet as my spirit;
A street lamp pours out sweetly,  
upon my shoulders of bare.
Recalling honey-dew words
I weep, ...bitter tears for you.