Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
368 · Apr 2014
Absolutely
Xyns Apr 2014
Falling for you
Was the best decision
I've ever made
367 · Sep 2019
Losing Will
Xyns Sep 2019
Tired of going to sleep crying
And confessing my love
Just to be told I'm lying

Tired of doing my best
But never being enough
And never finding rest

Exhausted
367 · Mar 2014
Insanity
Xyns Mar 2014
Set fireworks off on it
Drop bombs on them

When they scream
Feed off the energy

Their terror
It's like gas, a fuel

Don't let loose of it
Become a monster

Forget the morals
We're both immortals

Satan tried to play games
He couldn't handle it

When I opened up my mouth
It got insane

All those promises are gone
They're limp words

Kick a heart that's down
While the world blurs

Empty spaces in a soul
Open minds take the wheel

No doubt they're afraid
We broke open

And we released the storm
So let it rain down with pain

My mind is numb
This body awkwardly empty

A soulless open chasm
Of despair and no reaction

Crazy casts on these arms
I broke them in a fight

Fought for my freedom
To open up and free them

Open doors for the demons
Gateway to start wars

I just love the way it feels
To not feel and lose your mind
367 · Apr 2015
This Is A Thank You Letter
Xyns Apr 2015
Dear Mr. I'm Too Good For You,

This is a thank you letter.

Sure, it was painful.
It was shocking.
It was stupid of you.

But in so many ways,
It was wonderful.

Now that you're gone,
I've never felt so free.
Trust this, I'm not lonely.

Thank you for leaving me.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Grown up so much.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Flirted with your buddy.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Been really happy.

So thank you.

You've changed my life
For the better.

Sincerly,
The One That Got Away
You'll miss me, but I'll never regret losing you.
366 · Oct 2014
Intervention
Xyns Oct 2014
Sit me down
Tell me how
Terrible I've been

Lock me down
Crowd around
Show me how to change

Call the doctors
Get the pastors
Exercise this place


*but remember to ignore the fact
That I'm not insane
Treat me like a child
Criticize my brain
Open up the flood gates
And let me be enraged
All you've done is hurt me
You know I'll never change
366 · May 2014
Yourself
Xyns May 2014
sit in your corner
pout to yourself
that's all you ever do anyway

stare out the window
talk to yourself
that's all you can do anyway

write on your notepad
think to yourself
that's all you'll ever do anyway

sleep alone at night
dream by yourself
that's all you want to do anyway
366 · Sep 2017
Constant
Xyns Sep 2017
You weren't supposed to leave
"Annie, you know I'll always be there"

You weren't supposed to leave
"Annie, you know I'll always care"

You weren't supposed to lie
"Annie, you know me best"

You weren't supposed to lie
"Annie, I love you to death"

You were my constant
You'd never left my side.
You were my constant
In that, I took much pride.
You were my constant
I'm all broken up inside.

You weren't supposed to leave
"Annie, what we have will never end"

You weren't supposed to lie
"Autumn, you're my very best friend"
365 · Jul 2017
xinx
Xyns Jul 2017
Drain me.
Substance heavy, sedate me.
Mentally erase me.

Just like I do you.

Save me.
Emotion weary, intimidate me.
Critically hate me.

Just like I do you.

Engage me.
**** me over, break me.
Ironically elate me.

Just like I do you.

Taste me.
Emotion weary,
Sedate me.

Please ******* erase me.

So I can you..
362 · Apr 2015
Fade Away
Xyns Apr 2015
Sometimes I think of you
And my chest gets all tight
And my heart feels heavy
And my mouth gets dry
And I get the worst headache
And I miss you more than anything

But then he texts me...
And suddenly
I don't even
Remember your name.

And all the pain
Just seems to *fade away
Xyns Jul 2014
We were living in a dying flame
Ashes among the embers
Stuck in the reality of shame
While we slept in the abyss
Finding any other man to blame
To save our already lost souls

Around the world, the devil crept
Leaving evil pleasure behind
Demons were all to remain
In the place of the lord in vein
And as our God abandoned us
We tasted the cries of the insane

.........
Asking for opinions and tips. Maybe some ideas. I'm still working on this poem.
362 · Apr 2014
I'd Like
Xyns Apr 2014
I'd like to stay all night
To do you right
To make everything alright

wink wink

I'd like to be extra nice
To maybe become your wife
I'd like to be in your life
361 · Feb 2015
Nightmare
Xyns Feb 2015
I was beating my head on the wall
Hoping to end it all
I put the shotgun to my chin
Ready for my life to end
I pulled the trigger but it wouldn't budge
Not granting death's soft touch
I heard a scream, a howling
Then the creatures came for me
I tried to run, to get away
Suddenly all went to grey
A large, tall man with eyes of fire
Gave me a hug, offered a lighter
I lifted the cigarette in my hand
Lit it up then thanked the man
He smiled wide then said "It's alright
You're only dreaming for tonight."
At that moment the flames engulfed me
But I couldn't find the strength to scream
They all surrounded me, laughing
Telling me this is all my life would be
Thankfully, I sat up in my bed
I gasped, "God, I wish I was dead."
My nightmare last night..
361 · Mar 2014
I Like Nature
Xyns Mar 2014
I love the flowers.
They strike me as beautiful
And alluring.
I like the sky
Nice blue, slightly clouded sky.
It's peaceful and quite picture-perfect.
Most of all, I like the trees.
I like the old oaks
That tower over all others
And that spread elegantly out all around themselves.
To me, that is an image of utter beauty.
I could sit in a branch all day
From dawn to dusk.
If i am fortunate enough
From dusk to dawn again.
360 · Mar 2014
Keep It
Xyns Mar 2014
I give you my breath
Cherish it
I give you my heart
Guard it
I give you my tears
Take them
I give you my scars
Hide them
I give you my dreams
Live them
I give you my life
Keep it
358 · Aug 2014
To Be Continued
Xyns Aug 2014
When did dating become a game?
And get so trashed?
Now all we think about is
"Hey, look at dat ***!"

People aren't special anymore
Legs are like open doors
We go from one to another
Wonder why we haven't found the right lover?
Xyns Mar 2014
"The evil men do lives after them"

"And heaven wept for the sins of her children"

"Hope you're heaven sent and hell proof"
356 · Mar 2014
I Want You
Xyns Mar 2014
I want you
I want more
I want it all
I want your everything
I want it now
I want you
354 · Jul 2018
Naivety
Xyns Jul 2018
Lately
I’ve been scared of what’s intimate

A little paranoid
Noticing love never seems to be infinite

I’m dodging questions
This guilt can’t answer ****

And I’m binging
Meanwhile, I’m saying I should quit

Never again
Will I taste innocence
354 · Dec 2014
Trust?
354 · May 2019
Sad Pen
Xyns May 2019
I’m tired of writing of depression
But the losses keep coming in succession

I’d love to pen the beauty I see
Yet I mostly feel misery inside me

I’m sorry I’m sad
I’m sorry I’m glad

I wish I could change

But
For now
My heart remains the same
354 · Jun 2015
Untitled
Xyns Jun 2015
You cross my mind way too much
Almost like what we had was true love
But I'm not fooling myself anymore
Love isn't real, it's fiction, folklore
I'm not kidding myself about it
I've put up with too much ****
I don't wanna argue, I don't wanna fight
But it seems that's all that happens in life
I wish I could run away from being alive
Just quit, go somewhere safe and hide
353 · Aug 2014
That One Tear
Xyns Aug 2014
I cried.
It was only one tear, yes.
But it was there.

It was an ocean
And All 7 seas

And in that tear
Was our song

Our shared laughter

Our stolen kisses

Our endless embraces

Our climbing emotions

Our deep talks


It was the universe
And all galaxies involved

And in that tear
Was our secrets

Our whispers

Our commitment

Our curiosity

Our closeness

Our honesty


It was a world war
And every battle

And in that tear
Was our fights

Our lies

Our words

Our disgust

Our bombs and blows

Our relationship


I cried.
It was only one tear, yes.
But it was us.

And it slipped away
As though it were our love.
353 · Apr 2020
Fucking Dying.
Xyns Apr 2020
Clinging losely
To whatever you have left for me

Privately
I talk to myself

Why are you here?

I don't understand

You say you love me
The years prove it true

But, God, I'm ugly

Utterly void of any virtue



I swear I'm dying inside.


I know you can't save me

But let's pretend
If only for a moment
That you and I are real

Am I enough?

I don't feel so
I never do

You don't know what I see

Mirrors aren't kind to me

....
God, I hope you know me.
351 · Mar 2014
Youth
Xyns Mar 2014
Young hearts, open minds
Any mountain, we'd climb

Smooth words, true love
Maybe we were sent from above

Deep thoughts, guarded beliefs
We give no care that our life is brief
349 · Jun 2018
Rusty
Xyns Jun 2018
Eyes wide shut in a poppy seed slump
Slow motion moves my blood as it pumps
Cold and coping with pale powder bumps
I find my crutch in a poppy seed slump

Dumb and numb, opioid ****
Laying limp in a rut


*** on the run, opioid rust
Praying lips of a mut


Dumb and numb, opioid rust

Cheap opioid ****
348 · Jan 2015
Untitled
Xyns Jan 2015
They tell me it's bad for me.
They tell me that they care..

But they don't know it's their fault
They don't realize they did this to me

They called me fat, and lazy
So now I take pills to lose weight with creatine

I get hyper on them to stay happy
I'm addicted to the things that hurt me

All the caffeine is the reason that I smile
And, without it, I'd be suicidal
340 · Sep 2018
Wounded
Xyns Sep 2018
They say the pain is all mental
But I feel a sting in my temples..

Yes,
Babe,
You broke me.

Yes,
Babe,
I’m lonely.

But, no,
You can’t own me.

They say that it’s simple
...
But I think I’m crippled
339 · Aug 2017
Moving On..
Xyns Aug 2017
I'm not waiting anymore
I'm moving on
I'm sick of singing
Sad love songs

I'm not waiting anymore
I'm moving on
It's been a lost cause
All along
338 · Mar 2014
Him
Xyns Mar 2014
Him
His hands fit mine
As though they were made to
His heart pounds rhythmically
Making it my favorite song

His voice is a calming melody
Opening my eyes to see
Everything that we could be

His laughter heals me
As though he is medicine
His aching kills me
Bringing me to my knees

His words are a smooth chatter
Saving me right after
It seems my world has shattered

His feet I trust to guide me
When my eyes can't see
His arms always heat me
While everyone else is freezing

His eyes go wandering
Over my hands he is holding
Showing he'll always be loving
338 · Nov 2014
Confessions #C
Xyns Nov 2014
If I left..
I disappeared..
And I never came near..
.......
I doubt you'd even notice.
338 · Apr 2014
No Matter What
Xyns Apr 2014
Even if I have to force you to
You'll love me always
No matter what
337 · Aug 2017
Monotony
Xyns Aug 2017
Seems like I spend my time in the same space

Contemplating the same things every single day

Struggling, hoping that I don't waste away

Seems my dark thoughts have come out to play

Wondering how long until these thoughts change

Or maybe all will remain the same

Either way, I know my words will fade..
337 · Aug 2018
self.
Xyns Aug 2018
Everyday I fight the urge to burn myself
Because I know it works
I know it helps
337 · Jun 2014
Inferno
Xyns Jun 2014
I only have as much energy

As these flames will allow me

And soon all that shall remain

Will be dull ashes in my place
336 · Sep 2017
Screaming
Xyns Sep 2017
I lived life surrounded by screaming
Realized all this **** simply has no meaning
I kept going but questioned my reasoning
Mentally, dark images are hemorrhaging
Desperate to put purpose to the breathing
Everything's so temporary; I'm comfortable with leaving
And I smoke too much; I hate it but I'm feening
Unsure what kind of love could alleviate my grieving
My trust has been tainted by all the deceiving
Don't want death; for my will to live, I'm still pleading
Often feels as though the voices in my head are speeding
All I desire is to subdue their screaming
333 · Apr 2014
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2014
It's danger
So tempting

A stranger
Still willing

So open
Enclosing

So weak
Imposing

Just words
Life altering

Only letters
Heart-changing

Though scripted
Flow free

Never ending
Finally
332 · Mar 2014
Intoxication
Xyns Mar 2014
Let them fight
Let them scream
Let them try to hurt me

I can't feel a thing
I can barely even see
I can hardly feel my body

I took a sip or two
Probably more than a few
Alright, I'll admit to multiple shots

So let them try to burden me
They won't get very far past my confusion
Because at this point, I can barely even breathe
331 · Mar 2014
Envy
Xyns Mar 2014
A winter wind
Kisses thy flesh

A gentle breeze
Your face, it shall caress

I envy that air
For it must never stop
It's touch

Myself, however,
Has limits on how long
I may hold you
331 · Nov 2017
Spacing
Xyns Nov 2017
Hours* fly by in minutes
While they *drag on for days


You're standing beside me
But I know you're miles away

My head won't stop spinning
As I search for the words to say..

*..And I need you here with me
But you've already gone away..
330 · Mar 2014
Our Infinity
Xyns Mar 2014
I'll let your voice wash over me
Like a sweet symphony

I'll let your body blanket me
Let our scents mingle

I'll let your words heal me
While the taste lingers

I'll fall for you all over again
With any luck, it'll never end

I'll surrender to this lovely forever
Play tricks on our eternity

I'll let your touches fill the void
You'll be my medication

I'll hold you closer than before
And feel all your warmth

We'll be comforted by the knowledge
That this love is our infinity
330 · Sep 2017
"Coming. Terrified."
Xyns Sep 2017
You know this is for you, but I'll allow you to remain nameless
It may not even matter; you may not even read this
You probably won't because you're selfish and you're shameless
It's upon you that I'm forced to blame this
I don't know if I care enough to even post this
You know what? This is a write that I won't even finish
You've never cared about me; you don't even deserve the effort of this diss
329 · Oct 2017
Ride
Xyns Oct 2017
I felt these vibes
The special kind
Aided my high
And blew my mind
Pausing time
Evolving tribes
An uphill climb
And rocky ride
329 · Aug 2018
Be Still
Xyns Aug 2018
Still.
I cannot make you feel.

Still.
I cannot make you real.

And as I sit in the silence and stare
It seems I no longer feel you there
And I know that you’ll never care

But I can’t keep lying...
328 · Oct 2017
In This Write
Xyns Oct 2017
Within this write, there are things I want to share.
More effectively, I want to express my ideas on things- both good and unfair.
Furthermore, this is for me; I'm not writing in hopes that you care.

It's so filled with miscommunication; if you think so, I don't believe malevolence was the aim
No ****** needed; we weren't meant to be more- this is recent knowledge I've come to gain
We were galaxies- within both of us are constellations we're given the responsibility to contain

Both of us seem electric and maybe that's why it had to be emotional warfare
Or perhaps the currents burned us out and now we're emotionally impaired

A temporary Romeo whose mind manufactures illusions of a ride to imminent fame
Met this Juliet whose spirit had aged and set goals of recognition to obtain
Each tortured artistically, with the unpleasant disposition to over-explain

Somehow, despite the floods of words, coherent expressions were rare
You felt unnecessarily taxed while I felt time with you costed me a steep fare
I'm intimately drained after all the internal details I was pressured to share

Ideas of romantic success were forced by naivety to be entertained
Unhealthily encouraged by all the tiny kisses hesitantly exchanged

Journey by my side to where lust dwells- my innocence used to live there
The angels we once were have been tainted by wasted passions we declared
Leaving us merciless, as ours were never the sensitivities to be spared

There was no shortage of moments in which I doubted any of it was sane
With this write, I hope to prevent the ride from being taken in vain
In this write, I hope at least a few of my conflicted thoughts are made plain..
326 · Aug 2017
Rare Is The Type
Xyns Aug 2017
I'm not here for your Prince Charming
I'm not here for your Romeo
I'm here for the troubled mind
Young spirit worn by an old soul
Cherish the rarity,
Respect the words as they flow

I don't want your Prince Charming
Disrespect to your Romeo
I want one with a stronger spine
Young spirit worn by an old soul
Rare Is The Type
Broken heart plated in gold

*Yes, Rare Is The Type,
Young Spirit Worn By An Old Soul
326 · May 2014
I Like You
Xyns May 2014
i like you
:)
324 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Xyns Oct 2015
Why is it that I blame myself
When you don't text back?

Why is it that I blame myself
When its all out of my control?

Why is it it that I blame myself
When you're feeling down?

Why is it that I blame myself
When somebody else hurts you?

Why is it that I blame myself
When I'm obviously innocent?
324 · Mar 2014
The One
Xyns Mar 2014
She is the one
I hold so close and dear
My heart always races
When she is near

When I look into
Her beautiful eyes
All I see is gorgeous
Starry night skies

When she flashes
That amazing white smile
It my makes my whole day
Worthwhile

I love being
Her one and only
Because it would **** me
To see her lonely

She is so perfect to me
In everyway
I can't stop thinking
About her all day

She makes me
So tender and warm
When she lays
In my arms

But when the day
Comes to an end
And everything
Is said and done
I know in my heart
She is the one
My boyfriend wrote this for me and I cried a little.
324 · Mar 2014
The World We Live In
Xyns Mar 2014
We live in a world
Of rapid fire
When something is thought through
Not many of us understand

We live in world
Where people ignore the aftermath
If something is calculated
Most of us run away from the plan

We live in a world
Of confused minds and broken hearts
Selfish, most of us are
And the majority don't regret it
323 · Aug 2017
-z-
Xyns Aug 2017
-z-
...

I wish I could lay with you and hold you tight

.......

Then maybe things would feel alright

...
Next page