I missed my artwork
My different brushes
My unique designs
The way the brush adds color when you push harder
But my artwork goes away after awhile
And the only way to see it Is if you look really close but those only show little fragments of what my artwork use to be
But what they don't know is that my artwork were my scars and the canvas were on my wrists
And I miss my artwork

It was 1 o'clock am,
Way 2 late to be up,
I have already had 3 glasses of your favorite wine and,
I was wondering about number 4,
I woke up at 5 today and still asking myself why I hadn't fallen back asleep until 6 but,
That was the thing I couldn't sleep,
Sleeping till 7 was a stretch so I didn't even try,
But then 8 went by
And you left by 9 and I,
Just couldn't seem to get you off my mind
By 10 I was back asleep
And 11 back on my feet
I called you 12 times
But by the 13th time you had finally answered and I
Just simply couldn't remember what I had to say
But to hear the sound of your voice brought me to cry
And I had cried 14 little tears, and then,
I was out of them,
I was out of tears,
I was out of breath,
I was out of wine,
I was out of love,
I was out of answers,
And questions because,
You, broke all my 15 heart strings.

You were my sunshine on a rainy day
But you loved rain
And still till this day
I'm not so sure why
Maybe it's because when you woke up it still was a little dark outside
And you could sleep for another half an hour
Maybe it's because you would always try and find the sun
Because you knew it was out there somewhere
You were always a little more curious then others
You knew that there was always a way
You didn't like so much when people corrected you
Or,
Tell you no,
When something didn't exactly go as planned
You always wanted to make the best out of it and wanted to be that type of person in every situation.
But you weren't
And you tried so hard to have that peaceful mindset
But It just didn't work
And maybe that's why you liked rainy days so much
Those kinda days where it rains the night before and is carried out through the whole afternoon and back into the night
It never stops to rest
And I guess neither did you
You never cared so much if you got wet outside
You didn't need an umbrella
"The rain is gods free shower"
You used to say
Everybody would laugh and call you crazy
And some days you were a little crazy
You didn't mind though
You liked the attention
Maybe that's why you liked rain
It's pitter patter that hits the roads and makes you listen a little closer
Like an old folk tale told by an old soul
Thunder and lighting scares away the little ones
But ****
Sure does make a good rainbow
That was you I think
How you would have your times of  frustration when you thought nobody could fix it or no one understood
You settled down though
Then found some good in the bad
Found your rainbow
And maybe that's why you liked the rain

Second hand secrets
Bubbling bathtubs
Drowning the dread
Escaping evil
Violent videotapes
Sickening stories
******* and *******
Driving drunk
Elaborating on the evening
Vicious voices
Warped whispering
Only I can hear
Oblivious to what was happening
Sinking under the water
Not wanting to come up for the desired air
For I thought I could breathe underwater
My lungs would fill with the air for fish
My brain would explode
I could hear the muffled screams
But I liked it better under a world I barely knew
no longer had I have to worry about what was above sea level
For it didn't matter in my tattered mind
My heart was pounding in my body
Almost screaming and grabbing at my chest trying to pull me back up
Gone girl
Girl now gone

I want to go to a special place,
where the water is sparkling from the sun so hot,
where the sand is warm and soft in between your toes,
where the grass is very tall swaying in the wind,
where the breeze is warm blowing through your hair,
where the seagulls soar across the sky,
where the bluebirds sing there special song,
where the deer prance in the woods,
where the driftwood floats up to the shoreline and back again
where is there silence, quiet, a place of serenity?
when will my special place come to greet me?
when will the world stop and take it all in?
When will the bluebirds sing?
When will the gulls fly across the sky?
When will the deer prance in the woods?
When...

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room.

I took a long and hilly road down to memory lane,
The trees concaving in,
Acting like a roof to the animals that scurry by.

Our house hidden back behind the pines and oaks,
That is where I grew,
Where I prospered,
That tiny house is where I learned to love,  
Where I learned love,
Doesn’t last.

The pond in the back,
Seemed to croak at night,
The rooster crowing in the morning behind us,
And now I awake with nothing but silence.

I see no roof covering my head when I walk out the door,
Everything has seemed to change,
And driving one last time down that road and onto another,
The trees seemed to wave goodbye.

Slowly slipping away from the reality that they all seem to portray,
Day dreaming is how we get away,
but we never forget that nightmares are dreams too.

We live In a world where the prescribed medication that the doctor gives you,
Doesn't work.
And the dreams of the children turn to nightmares,
They want to believe and see heaven but all they seem to see is hell,

The parents are gone and no one seems to care,
They're left to fend for themselves,
They are so young and already know how to fake a smile...

Now there grown and caring for there own,
But they're terrified but of course don't show it,
Because then there kids will know it.

We are the beautiful disasters that the old tell as a tale to there young,
But we lived it and it's true,
We were the silent minds that slowly drifted away from reality.

These hands are soft
These hands have held other hands
These hands are cold, delicate and frail
But his hands were different

His hands are hardened and calloused over
His hands are welcoming
His hands have held hammers and saws
His hands have also held a new life
His hands have held mine
His hands worked much more than expected
His hands are like no other
His hands are missed
No longer am I, anyone or anything going to be able to touch his hands
the way I use to

Not only were there fireworks in the sky
But there were fireworks in both our eyes
That night was amazing and I wouldn't change a thing
Except for the fact that we both got caught

My eyes are now dry,
but thanks for caring when my eyes were wet and tears were running down my cheek,
down to my Collar bone making a pool of salt water in my indentations

My pillow has now dried up but thanks for "being there for me" when it was wet and makeup covered,
even when my mascara brand proved it to be
waterproof

The first rule you learn when you live in a glass house is don't throw stones,
The second is don't walk around naked,
You have neighbors,

When you live in a glass house you're mindset will morf into it,
You are so used to being open when everyone can see you and hear you that you praise the times when people can't see into your brain,
All the thoughts you have,
what you really wanna share with people but to afraid that your idea might get shut down,
But they don't have to know you have thoughts or judgements or opinions because they can't see through your mind, only your house
And you take this for granted

I want to sleep with you
No ***
Just sleep
No ******* or banging
No headboard clanging
Just sleep
Just us cuddling together
Our bodies intertwined with one another
Arms reach across stomachs
Fingers interlock
Legs wrap around each other
Eyes close
We both nod off
In the comfort of one another

I wanna be with you,
Next to you for all the ups and downs,
With you for all the hardships,
I wanna travel with you and visit all the towns,
Snapping pictures when you don't expect it,
I wanna be with you forever,
Everything we have ever done together, I won't ever regret it,
You,
Are the only person who has ever made me this happy,
You make this world we live in a better place,

You are my world,
My universe,
My everything,
And I couldn't go on without you,
When you say you love me, always and forever will I say that I love you too,
Because baby when I'm with you the feeling I get I never wanna lose,

I wanna be with you for the family vacations,
I wanna make our house pop with all the holiday decorations,
This relationship is the strongest mother ******* foundation!,
I can't put to words how much I love you and I never want you out of my life,
And If there's ever tension between us, I'll cut that ***** with a knife,

Kyle Joseph Magee,
You mean the absolute world to me,
You are all I ever wanted,
I was all locked up and you had the key,
I told you everything our first night out,
And I knew you were a keeper, there was no doubt,
I get lost in your eyes and I never wanna look about,
You hold me tight,
And I could stay in your arms all day and all night,

Your laugh and smile are the best things in this world,
Your voice is the most beautiful sound in my ear when you sing and when you talk,
You're the reason I get up in the morning,
The reason why I get ready,
The reason I don't go insane because I know you have my back,
There is no quality that my baby lacks,
Every second we spend together I never want it to end,

All of the time that we've been together has been all I have ever wished for,
And all I wish for now is our time together to be more and more

It was one night  
She was at a concert
So we were alone
We talked all night
You told me secrets
I told you stories
But there was one story I wanted to tell
I've been wanting to tell you it for awhile
There were so many opportunities
And all of them failed
It's been two years
Still I haven't told you
And maybe I never will
But man I wish I could
You know what you did
And so do I
But you don't know I know
And I wish you knew

Eyes,
brown,
blue,
hazel,
green,
Eyes will wander,
no matter the color,
no matter the size,
they will wander.
They will wander on other eyes,
they will stare at the color,
The size,
the shape,
the beauty,
the movement,
everything.
They can draw you in, or scare you away,
these eyes can see.
These eyes have seen,
and will keep on seeing.
Eyes will look at something or someone and lock onto it
Eyes are the site to the heart,
Eyes are the windows to the soul.
Sometimes eyes will forget the past,
or they might sure as hell remember it.
They can forgive and forget,
they have expression.
Eyes have a personality of themselves.
They are their own person.

I'm not ok
The truth comes out slowly
And I explode
I'm hearing you
But your words don't comprehend
Confused and lost
In a world where everyone speaks underwater
And I above
Forgetting where to turn
Or what's around that known corner
Having everything
But only remembering nothing
Silence sounds like screaming
And I'm not ok

I would have never thought that you and I would be together
We weren't the closest of friends
But I helped you get her
It only lasted a while
I didn't know I was falling for you
But I was
You got everyone
And now that it's been a couple years
You've almost dated everybody
Even me
We dated three times
And even when we weren't dating
When we were "just friends"
Stuff happened
Stuff happened that has never happened before
I liked you for the longest time
And I would lie to my friends when they asked
We would argue almost every day
But I loved you
And I wanted to keep it that way
We loved each other through thick and thin
Our friends told us that we were like an old married couple
Maybe it was fate
Or maybe it wasn't
We will never know
My friends told me to watch out
They told me I was gonna get hurt
And I did
Every Time
And I knew it
Every Time I would crawl back to you I got hurt
But I liked it
The pain was awful but I miss you
They told me to stay away
But I miss you and I miss your love
And I would **** to talk and see you again
But we're "just friends"

Nothing ever lasts and
Things always change
We suffer from the mutation we have had in our life
But somehow in the end we always seem to "get over it"

You were beside me and I saw your phone,
Scrolling, I realized it was not just me,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

I thought I knew you, but you're not well known,
You covering your face, you wanting to flee,
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Your voice changing in a scared, afraid tone,
My heart broke and now I'm an amputee,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

In my mouth your words felt like acetone,
And you kept asking “do you believe me?”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,

Reflecting over how much we have grown,
Together, bad start to a family tree,
There was someone else, we were not alone,

We are both living in a toxic home,
Now screaming at you “just let me be!”
You were beside me and I saw your phone,
There was someone else, we were not alone…

Dear Sarah,
We met one brisk January night,
It was the,
16th, you looked beautiful,
in your,
white dress made up of,
Blankets, and your head wrapped in a yellow beanie,
That night I met you in that big room,
Curtains on the left and everyone there staring at you,
With you in my arms I was happy you were here.

Dear Sarah,
You were a terrible sleeper,
Babysitting you was a nightmare,
Just to make sure that you didn't have any,
I laid you down in your crib,
And when I tried to leave,
You screamed at me to come back,
I laid on the floor,
Next to your crib,
I did this until I thought you were asleep,
I creeped out of the room,
Trying not to make the hard wood creak,
under that green carpet,
Always failing the mission I heard your,
“Don't leave” in your small little voice,
Walking slowly backwards,
back into the room of sleepless nights,

Dear Sarah,
Do you remember how we use to,
turn our old,
bulky computer on and,
Listen to songs on YouTube with the,
Lyrics on the screen lighting up our faces,
Dancing in front of our picture window,
Acting like a mirror to the world,
Reflecting back what everyone thought of us, and yet,
We didn't care,
We danced our cares away,
You jammed out,
Went *******, and yet,
You were only two,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
I made you grow up to fast,
I kicked your innocence out the door,
Kissed it goodbye and let it walk away,
To never return,
You were six when I started telling you things,
Made you keep secrets,
Had you tell lies to cover for me,
My actions made you an old soul,

Dear Sarah,
I'm sorry,
It wasn't suppose to be like this,
Your nine and I miss your innocence,
I tried finding it,
Inviting it back into a tiny home,
But it left, its,
Long gone,
And Sarah,
I'm sorry.

Warm-blood meets the cold air, the harsh winds of reality,
reflecting back the spitting image of a girl.

Touch me with your snow like hands and make me shiver,
make my goosebumps come out and play because they miss the feeling of the-

Sore limbs,
weak muscles,
Need to stretch out,
Like the elastic bands on my wrists tying back my hair from going in my face,
like your words when you speak

You hurt me
You broke me
You betrayed me
You ripped me into pieces
You through me on the floor
You diliberitly disobeyed me
You were the coward, not me, you
You made me feel like I was worthless
You made me feel like my existence on this planet was worthless
You made me break down and cry every night when I was with you
So I left
I left you
I left this world
I stopped you from hurting me
I stopped you from throwing me around
I just wanted it to stop
So I left

Infect me with your love
I want to die knowing that I'm infected with your love

Poison me with your kisses
I want to kiss your lips knowing that I was the last to kiss you

Strangle me with your hugs
I want to breathe my last breath knowing your arms are wrapped around me so tight that I can't say a thing but only hear you whisper

"It was an accident"

She is a mirror, reflecting people's words and actions back on them.
She is a jacket, warming people's thoughts when they need help or advice.
She is an ice cube, she can be cold, but she can melt too.
She is a tree, people or things can alter the way she grows.
She is a thunderstorm, you either like her or don't.
She is a parachute, saving people when they seem to be falling.
She is the red traffic light across town, people usually listen to her,
but when they don't,
there might be consequences later.
She is a wall, because she's always there when you need someone to lean on

Hey,
You wanna know what happens to  the passing smile in the hallways, and the “hey love!” with a hand hold that seamlessly morphs into a stretched arm turnt backwards in the sea of people,
When the smile goes home,
It fades and eyes water,
The lines are still carved into her  cheeks,
Smudges of charcoal placed over her hands and face,

She feels like,
a dandelion, a ****,
Always uprooted but always looking happy,
Even though it knows that they won’t stay for long,

You ever feel like you’re in a constant state of falling?
Never once reaching the ground,
Hovering the floor,
And can’t wait to touch so you can get back up again.
That was her,

She plasters a smile on her face everyday
and throws in a couple of laughs to get through the day,
She asks her self “What am I doing with my life”
It’s revolving around everyone else’s,
She isn’t living for herself anymore
She’s dandelion seeds in the wind not knowing where it will take her

You sit in her stomach
Wrapped up in flesh
She cannot see you but she can feel you

Those 9 months are like a really
long blind date
But the mandatory 9 months were cut short...

You were suppose to have a birthday
We would tell each other secrets
And you would tell me about your girl troubles
I would scare the kids off that made fun of you

I remember the day that mom was  bed bound,
Mommy was “sick” Dad told me
He said not to bother her,

She gave me a white bear with a pale assortment of colors on it,
It came with a marker so I could draw on it,
And when I wanted to change it, all I had to do was wash it,
I thought it was great.

I wish my life came with a marker
I would draw us all together
And never wash it
It would stick and become a stain

I wish I could see you and tell you how everyone is doing,
Mom has a new husband now
And dad is single  
they separated awhile ago
It’s ok, I’m glad you didn’t have to be here to witness it,
You have an older half sister you know?
Yep and a little one too,
You’re a middle child, just like me.

I wanna tell you everything
But mostly I wanna hear you speak
Tell me what you’ve been through and how it is up there
One day I’ll see you and we can catch up on life.

This is to the under achievers,
To the wanna-be weight losers
Who aren't seeing results,
This is to the kids with drunken dads who only drink ***,
To the people who only received as little as bread crumbs.

This is to the children with hush quiet moms,
This is to the ones who lay in bed and
Stare at the ceiling praying for sleep,
But there is no God when you spell it dog,
Barking in your neighborhood at midnight.

There are other people like you,
Other people who know where you stand,
This is to the people who can't stand,
You, so you tell them to sit.

To the people who are always sitting,
And the people who told you to stand up for yourself,
And those selfish girls who told you to "sit down".
Those boys who told you to shut up,

This-This is for the ones who fought but didn’t win,
The battle you went into with only your fists,
While everyone else seemed to have bigger weapons.

This is to the children who cannot read,
But can read lips of their loved ones,
This is to the left hand writers who aren't writing,
"Right", this is to unrequited lovers,
Or the ones who speak "I love yous"
And don’t hear it back.

This is to the none swimmers,
For the foreign talkers who all go swimming,
Because we all sound the same underwater.

To the people who  can't  find their purpose,
To the ones who took a long walk off of a short pier,
This is to the ones who don't know how to tell a lie,
But they shake their  hips,
Because hips don't lie.

This one,
This one is for the non-believers,
To the ones who count by twos,
When there is only one piece of the cake left,
And to the ones who think everything is a piece of cake.

To the ones who wanna be like King Midas,
Who wished everything was gold,
So,
Stay gold pony boy,
It's a long road ahead of you,
And many manholes to fall into,
But don't fall in,
You'll-you'll be fine.

Have you ever seen a rainstorm come in?
You hear little pins dropping every once in a while on a parking lot space next to your motel your staying at for the night,
then your hear it steadily speed up and see the glistening droplets reflect off the lamp posts' light,
and before you know it it's pouring on the old tin roof and your watching it in amazement,
questioning how this even happens and how you even got here but knowing when you walk out of this very motel room in the morning that the pavement will be wet and you'll say you know why because you were there when the gods cried last night

Take me away,
To a place where we can be far from those who don't understand,
My people have become okay with my choices,
It took awhile but it's now all alright,
For you though it's all different.
Your people see me as a criminal stealing the innocence of their kin,
But what they don't know is that you came to me when I was lost,
You showed me the path I trailed off from.
I was in a bad place, but now I seem to be serenity, a good place that I wish I wish I was in when I was younger

I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm dying
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I promise
I'm fine
I promise
Just believe me
I'm not lying
Really im fine
Really

You only text me when you want me
At first it was cute because I felt wanted
Like someone cared about me
But you don't care
You don't care at all
You could care less about me
You just wanted me for your own needs
And I was blinded from that

She let go because of them
He let go because of them
They all let go because of them
Of who?
Of them.
Them, the people who told them other wise.
The people who told them what they hated hearing but believed it.
She let go because of the words
He let go because of the rumors
They let go because they believed
Believed that it was true
They all let go for believing
Don't let go
Don't believe the lies
But maybe they want to
Them, they have no idea  what if it was them
They wouldn't know and it's their fault they are the reason they let go
Why she let go
Why he let go
Why they all let go

I am friends with the most poisonous spider,
because I know it can't hurt me,
but somehow I'm still getting bitten and the poison is rushing through my veins,
I try to breath in oxygen but you kiss CO2 in my mouth
and when it's broad day and I can see clearly,
you cover my eyes so all I can see is the darkness that you have put in me
and my feet are now brown from the dirt path I have been walking on
and the only light I have is a little ounce of hope that the sun will be out in the morning

I can't see you
I've been looking forever but I can't seem to-
My air seems to be running out
I can't see you
It's in my eyes and my vision is turning-
I know you're down here
I can feel it
But I can't see you
I swam to far down
I can't seem to get back to the top fast enough
I'm surrounded by water
I can't breathe
Help
Help me
I need you
I'm looking and
Im searching
I'm trying I really-
I'm running out
I can't see you
I can't hear you
But i can hear
I can hear the screams
They haunt me at night
I can feel the splashing water hitting my face and blinding my eyes
My body only seems to know how to float
I'm trapped
I want to swim to you but it's like something is holding me back
I can see you
I can see you know
You're screaming to me
Muffled by the water crashing and I see the bubbles come up when you speak
And I try to dive in
but something is holding me back not mentally
but physically
I try my best to reach you but you keep sinking down
I'm being pulled up and you're being tugged down
There's alarms in the distance I can hear them
I can hear everything now
The sirens
The screaming
The thunder
The waves crashing rapidly
My eyes are blurry and it's like I'm being spun around a thousand times
and I have to shut my eyes because it's to much
And now I can't see you

I can see the blank paper,
The unfilled lines on the sheet,
I can hear your words that I’m supposed to be writing down,
But I can’t raise my hand high enough to get the words on the paper.
The paper feels rough today,
I can taste the words I want to say but I’m holding them back,
Staying quiet and not saying a word.
Stay quiet and they won’t talk,
Stay quiet and they won’t know,
Stay quiet so they can’t hear you scream.

I saw you,
sitting there,
just sitting,
all alone,
wondering about,
all the things you have done,
and what people have done to you,
thinking,
pondering,
wondering,
while sitting there,
all alone.

Yesterday my name was dreadful,
Today my name is nervous,
Tomorrow my name will be fine,
I'm fine,
Fine lies through her fragile teeth being careful not to shout,
For she might show emotion she's not ready to embrace.

Struggling to fight the words Fox-trotting across her eyes shut by her eyelids acting as heavy curtains that darken every inch of a room that was once known to carry light,

Thoughts riding in and out of "fine's" brain like ocean waves kissing the shoreline at twilight.

Yesterday her name was dreadful,
Today her name is nervous,
Tomorrow and all the tomorrow's to follow her name will forever be fine...

The trees are calling my name telling me to come home now
There is no path pushing me back to where I supposedly belong
For I belong on the streets of my little town
I walk along where the grass blows
Pavements and gravel feel like home to my sore feet
I'm not yet home
Not where I belong at least
This house is not my home
The wind knows which way I like to go
For I follow it
The rain likes to surprise me when it knows I've gone to far
Up till the early morning it looks as if it's night
Moonlight and sunlight shine down on me
Brightening my day so I can see
I am finally alone and on my own
I'm finally free

He said “one is lonely” I said
One isn’t lonely,
One is confident,
One is independent and doesn’t need help from another to make it happy,

One is the beginning,
One is the start to something that can go on forever,
One is me,
One is you,
One can do anything it sets its mind to,

One doesn’t need a second opinion because it’s opinion is the best one,
One says i love you and doesn’t need to hear it back,
Because one isn’t lonely

Take her to tomorrow
For she can not stand another today
Yesterday's misery to took her far away
Take her to tomorrow
Please, I know she doesn't want to be there but, she needs to be
Take her to tomorrow
Today's day wasn't like she planned
Yesterday was awful, she couldn't take it
Take her to tomorrow she needs a second chance
Don't let this happen
Let today be forgotten
Let yesterday be in the past and never be brought in to another tomorrow
Take her to tomorrow
Don't let her go today

At the hour of midnight
She fights
She's glowing oh so bright
And she only thinks it's right
No one else agrees
As her parents float over seas
She lives in a bad place
Not full of race
Her sister has a police case
But she can't get there
She wants to
But doesn't know where
She said she wants to go to heaven
But she's only seven
Way to young for her to die
But her life was full of lies

Pain,
It doesn't feel good,
It hurts,
But if the pain hurts us so much why do we keep letting it happen,
Scrolling through our exes pictures,
Watching sad movies,
Making ourselves cry,
Hurting ourselves,
For our own enjoyment,
We make pain for our selves to dissolve the other pains we have in life,
And why?
We'll never know,
Do we like the pain that we get,
Is that why we can't stop making it worse,
Pain is like a drug,
Once we have a little bit of it,
We can't stop ourselves from drowning ourselves in it,
Us, as human beings,
Are addicted,
To pain.

Just sit in seldom,
No one will ask questions,
No one has to know,
They won't care,
They never seem to do...

Just sit in seldom,
It's better that way,
A million thoughts playing ring around the rosy in your head,
They all drop and fall,
A migraine takes the games place,

Just sit in seldom,
Pretend to be focused,
Pretend to know what's happening,
Nod and agree,
That's the best way to fake being, "ok"

For those who watch Game of   Thrones, a short man once said "You are a complication"

He loved her
But he could not keep her, for
She made things difficult for him,
"Complicated"

Hard to understand,
What people say when they don't feel like explaining so it's just,
"Complicated"

You are an abstract art piece that no one really knows where to put,
Nobody understands it but they stare and walk away,

She was a middle school rumor roaming the hallways,
Everybody knew that it was there,
But no body really knew the truth,

It was an unrequited love,
And later we found out it was another kind of love,
Another lover,

Her life was problematic from the start,
She grew up with an abusive father and fled her town,
Mother raising her to expose herself,
For her to be exploited,

That was life,
Finding your soulmate,
Seeming like you're gonna spend forever with them,
Then one day they leave for another,
All because you were a complication...

She told me she wanted to die
But if she were to jump into a lake She would still be holding her breath

I told her to swim to the bottom of the pool,
and once she ran out of air,
come back up,

She said no,
But what she doesn't know
is that your body forces you to come up for air,
even before you run out
You are not put on this planet to die I said

You are put here to live,
This god made you exist for a **** reason
Your job in this world is to find your purpose
And to live through the hunting season

She told me she wanted to die
But if she were to jump into a lake She would still be holding her breath

And if standing on a tall building she would say she wanted to fly
But she wouldn't take a step off just stand there and stare

Make it short and sweet,
Maybe a comical relief
Getting hit by a bus
But then her clothes would tear

I told her you don't wanna die
Just wanted it to be over
She said those were the same thing
I said maybe, but one is a forever goodbye

Go pick a 4 leaf clover
And then you'll see
That life is more than you ever thought it would turn out to be

"Shhhhhh"
They all seem to say as the night goes on
"Shhhhh"
I can hear them pray their mumbling is getting in the way
"Shhhhh"
I say "you'll miss it"
"Be quiet"
Listen to the pin needles hit the tin roof
Listen to the wind gusts fight against each other
It's proof
They want to be heard,
Listen to the flashing that wants to be heard
It screams with its light
No one seems to be listening
There talking
There praying
There not listening
"Shhhh"
Close your eyes and listen to the train that goes by in the distance, it's far away horn
Listen to the loud thunder rumbling through the dark skies
Listen to the crackling sound it makes when you pay attention
"Shhh"
Listen
Can you hear me
You can only see my cry for help but your not
Listening
Hear me I'm screaming I'm loud and I need you to
Listen
I'm here
I am the Lightning that cries at night I am that bright flashing streak at night I light up the sky with my cries and you won't listen your not listening
HEAR ME

I can hear there indistinct voices chattering above my ceiling
Their laughter is like nails on a chalk board screeching in my ear
To think that she can share the same laugh with another man...

New floor,
New ceiling,
New walls,
New beginning,

No,

Old beginning,
New house.

New beginning to the house,
Repeating beginning to the people,

New you,
New place,
New us,
New you.

Old memories are sold,
New ones are untold.

Same life different story,

No.

Different life,
Same story,
New us,
New beginning,
But mostly,
New you

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room