Here I am sitting by your house like a ghost
No music, no lights, so close.
I drove for hours just to talk to my soul, Then got possessed by the memories you sold.
Do you remember me..?
Such a delicate question as a tear hits my nose.
I’m weak and my eyes become froze.
Gripping the steering wheel and slowly fading behind the seatbelt is the only thing that seems mellow.
Hello...
As Billie Ellish voice soothingly comes threw the radio
“What the hell did I do”?
Never been the type to
Let some one see right threw
Ooo

As I roll up the windows and turn up the volume
Singing...
Maybe if you take me back
Say I was the one to make you laugh
And see me in this car tonight and hold me and just say I’m coming back!
The road is getting blurry now
The tears are coming just to laugh
I LOVE YOU.
I love you
....
I don’t want to
But I love you
Ooo

Guess it’s my time now,
I should go home and drive back now
As I take a deep breath and text you for the last time.

6/11/2020
...I tried & I’m here when you need me.
I leave you with another gun to **** me
I back slowly
To be honest I don’t even know how I got home but just like healing
Slowly but surely

No trace
You can see it on my face
I’ve been drinking and sippin on things
Tripping on Us
I fall right out of space
I feel out of place
I can’t feel I’m lying
I’m digging you like I’m mining
I believed in you like the  Mayans
No trace no trace no trace
I wiped my tears before I came out today
Just so you couldn’t see

Most of the times i keep a couple of dimes
Like the change in my pocket I got change in the door.
Sitting in my passenger he likes my Dior
I tried to keep me clean but I got stains in the dark.
places and resorts
Drinks and the sparks
Kinks to the parts
Keys to the door

I can open you up but I rather hear your heart.

Touch your soul when I’m in,
Take it out Just to mend.
Switch positions so sweetly
Eyes lock so deeply
My love is  always deep
Tatted on me so please ...
Don’t question his loyalty.

But Who is keeping score?

Watch the world just spin
Like the ceiling fan.
Don’t know where to start
don’t where to begin.
Let the Thunder roar
And the lightening begin
Did I lose you friend?
I can’t lose you again
**** the world I want him
**** the world I want him
Tell me how I can win?
Tell me how I want him
Tell me how I can win?

But who is keeping score....

I never been so close to the things I hated
But I’m reading between the lines like in the book God Created.
the Joy those men shared  when it wasn’t all great.

When the lights went off so my mom lit a candle for me to play.

Or the time when I got in trouble at school but I found my Dad picking me up an feeding me when I didn’t deserve his grace.

It was a drug called “Theraflu” that I use to hate taking that !
But everytime my parents gave it to me it would knock the cold right out.

Oh the taste on my tongue,
Oh the memories just run
Laying on my bed today
Looking back what my life has become.
Stuck in a house full of Failures but look how much trophies I won
I thank God for the good
I thank Jesus for the bad
Cause with out a creator
Over the years I would of lost each and every one

Youre the best I ever had,
In a room full of cash
Compare to you it’s  scrap.

If our plane was going down what would be the last thing you say to me ?

If We only had 24hrs to live tell me would you hold me?

What about the boat sinking
How about the train squeaking
What about the car beaping
Losing sleep  cause the demons ..
******* addicts cause were feening
I need to know tell me
What If I got down on one knee this time and ask you to take my life this evening..?

What would you do..