I don't have the energy
To assure you that I'm fine

I don't have the energy
To analyze and figure what's wrong

Your concern makes it worse

Because i'm trying to be okay
And when you perceive i'm not

That's just one more thing
That I'm failing at

Your friendship has been the hardest
for me to lose.
But it's because there was so much
more to lose.
And a year later, you're about the
same as them.

But comparing
now to then
I can see
how far
you've
fallen.

I hate that I still do anything
Because of you
But I do

At what point should I worry
When the exhaustion
Continues day
After day

The worst malaise this year
Skipping activities
Laying in bed
No appetite
Don't feel
Right

It's back
And I don't
Have the motivation
To move through it again

I am not a scarlet letter
I am a crimson red enemy
you are a lavender scent
a mint for my mind
a canvas for my ideas
a freedom wall to my masterpiece
I am not a deer in the headlights
I am the cats and dogs gameplay
That is what I am
*****, sit down and be humble
because even snakes listen to commands

I would say that I'm just treading water
But i enjoy swimming and this
Is so much worse

Im not going to pause my life
just to keep you in it

I've been watching our reruns on repeat
And it's not a comfort show anymore

Like the story was over and we shouldn't have been renewed for season four